Treinta y Uno

I notice that none of you remembered my birthday...ahem. In the words of Homer Simpson, I hope you are all baking me a giant chocolate apology cake right now!!!

How'd I spend my birthday? Funny you ask...

The day started out wonderfully...the girls had cards for me, and The Boy informed me that we were headed out to dinner to celebrate, and a babysitter was coming over to watch the girls after work. Then, I got to work, and they had a cake for me...so, until 9:30 or so, everything was going pretty darn well...

Then, it all got out of hand really quickly. Boss Foxy gave me mission...the kind of unusual people-management issue that I always get assigned, and a couple hours later, I was in Memphis, TN. Mostly, I was there for the purpose of helping someone realize that they really DID want to move their family from their comfy life in Memphis to New York City for the purposes of taking the COO job at a portfolio company of ours.

As ridiculous as that was, and sparing you the details, it was basically a cause after my own heart, and was not unlike a somewhat similar incident from my own kinda-distant past. And I happen to be in a pretty good position to address the concerns they had, so it wasn't real hard to make the pitch.

So, one night in Memphis, another meeting in the morning and then back home by early afternoon. And then a nap, which I woke up from when the girls came home and ran in to get me.

In the end, an unusual birthday, and if I simply cut out the 24 or so hours in transit...it started and finished really well!

Odds and Ends

I survived my solo-mothering stint unharmed, and the girls were none the worse for wear. If I didn't already have a serious appreciation for single parents, I certainly do now...it's exhausting! And I was a little surprised to find out that it's apparently not that uncommon to have never been alone with the kid(s) for a couple of days in a row at that age. Nor was it unusual to be a little apprehensive. Once again, the blog world made me feel better:-)

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Moving on...it's been a very summery summer around here...hot, humid and oppressive. Perfect weather to escape to the beach every weekend, indeed, which we have managed to do quite a bit. My love of The Beach House is pretty well documented at this point, and it seems to get stronger all the time...especially in these really prime July weekends where the house seems to be bursting with people every weekend. It was jammed on July 4th, and busy last weekend, and this weekend it will be really busy again.

This is the start of Smoking Hot Roommate's Mom's Family week at the beach (which really ends up stretching closer to two and a half weeks:-P). It continues to be one of my favorite traditions, and I think I can speak for Papa Bear, SHR and Big Sis in saying that it is one of theirs as well. It's like equal parts beach party, family reunion and celebration of their Mom. Always a good time!

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And...I'm going to France, and I think we're going to bring one of the girls with us. It will be a long time to be away from home for her (probably LK...but that's TBD) but I think it'll be fun. Frenchie's Mom was a very strong proponent of this idea:-). Munchkin has an orientation at the very end of July, and we are planning on going right after that, probably for 10 days or so. Same as the last couple of trips...we'll split the time between Paris and Nice without any real agenda. We'll play it by ear!

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The girls have graduated to a new classroom...they are in pre-school, which will be their home for maybe a year, and then pre-K and two years from September, they will start Kindergarten...almost can't can believe I am even thinking about that yet! We haven't actually decided on where to send them to school...there are a couple of options, all of which have pluses and minuses. (Also, all of which are grossly expensive, but there is nothing I can do about that, other than move to the...shiver...suburbs.)

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Anyone have anything interesting going on this summer? I feel like ours has been sort of unexciting, but really fun. Not a bad way to do it:-)

Embarrassing motherhood admissions

I've never totally felt like I am entirely, 100% comfortable as a mother. I suppose I am not sure that anyone is, but it seems to come much more naturally to a lot of women than it does to me. Which, I suppose, is sort of odd, since I have more experience at it than just about all first-time Moms do...even if that experience is more with teenagers than with toddlers.

Which brings me to kind of an off confession, and one that is frankly even a little hard for me to believe. The Boy has to travel for a couple of days, and with Munchkin at the beach and Smoking Hot Roommate also out of town...I think this is the first time I have ever been solely responsible for them for this long.

I know, right? Kind of ridiculous...but every time he's been away, either Munchkin or SHR or my mother-in-law have been with me. I think there was a day when I took them to the beach by myself, but The Boy probably joined us the next day (or maybe late that night...) but I am like 99% sure that I have never actually been alone in charge of them for two whole days and nights in a row.

[Which is also a gross misrepresentation since they will be in Day Care all day both days]

Obviously, this shouldn't bother me...I mean, they are over three years old, and I am perfectly capable of feeding, bathing and dressing them, getting them to bed and getting them to school. I do that pretty much every morning anyway. I've managed to get them to this point in their lives without any major hiccups, so clearly I can handle two days of single-motherhood. And saying that I was "scared" would be an overstatement, too. I'm not actually concerned that something will go wrong.

But...um...yea...I'm also not totally and completely un-nervous, either.

So, um, yea, that is my confession for the day. My kids are over three years old and I have never actually been alone with them for two days at a time.

I'm hoping you won't need to wish me luck.

Who doesn't love a four day weekend?

Quick check in, because I will be gone all weekend so not writing today would mean likely a LONG time between posts...

Munchkin's preposterously large, completely over-the-top graduation party was last weekend, and it was a smashing success. It included:

• a Tent
• a LOT of people (maybe 300 at one point or another during the day?)
• Surprisingly good weather - the forecast said overcast, maybe some rain...it was sunny and hot!
• One adorable French boy who is now here for another week
• Copious amounts of BBQ - ribs, brisket, chicken, cornbread, coleslaw, baked beans, corn and oh, so very much pie!
• Several of the Chicago folks
• An awful lot of beer

Munchkin felt loved, which was kind of the whole point, and as I told So Midwestern yesterday, she does very well as the center of attention. That actually sounds bad...I don't mean to imply that she seeks or demands attention, just that her reaction to something like this is an overwhelming joy at having so many people around that she cares about.

And many, many thanks to Big Sis who did the vast majority of the work to pull this together. It was her house, and she took care of the food and the tent and everything else. I really only had to deal with inviting everyone and delivering the guest of honor:-).

She and Frenchie have been at the beach all week, and the rest of us are headed down tomorrow (except for The Boy, who is headed down with his friend on his friend's new boat...one of the three worst ideas I have ever heard;-)). Should be a great weekend! The house will be packed, the weather looks good, and it's a full four days long. How can that possibly not be awesome?

I'm going to leave you with a question that I have sort of asked before, and which is prompted by observations of parents and later-teenaged children at the same party:

How did you parents treat alcohol around you at almost-drinking age? And how do you (or do you plan to) treat it with your kids? If you are at the same place, and not traveling anywhere, would your parents let you drink...a little? A lot? Strictly forbidden?

My observational analysis says that this is all over the place, so I'd like to hear what you think!

On Nelson Mandela, George Washington and Greatness

Nelson Mandela appears to be gravely ill, and tributes are beginning pour out from all corners of the world. Clearly, I am in no position to say anything special that won't be said elsewhere, but that isn't going to stop me from postponing work this morning for a couple of minutes while I give you my thoughts.

I think we have established that I am not an overly sentimental person, nor do I tend to overtly idolize people I don't know (although I have maybe been known to be a little bit hyperbolic). I also tend to be pretty hard on elected leaders and public officials. But you know what I am going to throw out there today? For all of the praise heaped upon Mr. Mandela, I actually think he is somewhat under-appreciated as a historical figure.

I'm sure that seems a little strange to say about someone who is pretty universally adored and rarely, if ever, criticized. So, let's examine the whole story...

Mention Mandela, and almost immediately the thoughts of most listeners go to his achievements in leading the fight to overturn Apartheid. And indeed, he led a revolution from a political prison, laboring tirelessly under extreme oppression to push a consistent message of equality and democracy. Ultimately, his revolution came peacefully, through negotiation and election.

But that, to me, is only a small piece of the story. History is littered with revolutionaries, many of whom suffered similarly to throw off horribly oppressive regimes. What there are very few of, however, are revolutionaries that transitioned seamlessly into effective governors. In fact, there is a much longer list of revolutionaries who became absolute monsters - Mao, Pol Pot, Castro, Amin, the Ayatollahs...

Mandela joins only a small list of people who led a revolution, but then became a nation-builder. He served as the first democratically elected leader of the post-apartheid South Africa, and his government was marked by inclusion, openness and development...never once with feelings of revenge or retribution. He spent 27 years in prison for demanding equality, but from the day he was released, his entire focus was on moving forward, not on delivering punishment for the past.

There is, as far as I can see, only one real historical parallel to Mandela: George Washington. While they led very different types of revolutions, both were the unquestioned leaders of their struggles. After winning their prize, though, both instantly became effective executives firmly devoted to the business of governing and to the principles of democracy and self-rule.

And most importantly...the truly remarkable, unmatched historical event...they both voluntarily ceded power. After the American Revolution, Washington appeared before Congress to return to them the commission as Commander in Chief that they had bestowed upon him early in the war.  He ignored the likely temptation to use his status as head of the army to install himself King, and established the principal that no man is bigger than the nation, and that the military answers to civilians. It was this act that led George III to say "If he does that, he will be the greatest man in the world."

Just to drive the point home, Washington did the same thing again after he was called out of "retirement" to serve as President. After serving two terms, and guaranteed of an easy, landslide election for as long as he cared to serve, he voluntarily chose to step down and once again established a standard (now a law) that no person should hold the Presidency for longer than two terms.

Nelson Mandela did the same. He served one term as President, establishing a forward-looking, conciliatory tone for the new South Africa, and then turned down the opportunity to be President for life, with an unlimited ability to expand his own power.

And that, more than leading a revolution, is why I think he is under-appreciated. He stands, in all of recorded history, on the smallest and tallest of pedestals reserved only for those immune to the corrupting influence of power.