Spa Day

For some reason, some of the dates on my posts are really off...anyone know why? The last two posts have dates that are like almost a full day before I actually wrote them. Can I change the times? Not that it really matters...mostly I just want the right dates going forward.

It was a really nice weekend around here, the weather was beautiful (for March). Smoking Hot Roommate was away all last week working, and came home Sunday morning. Her first words after she came through the door were "I'm exhausted, lets go get massages." You don't have to tell me that twice...

So we had some spa time, which is always a treat. I can't say that I was terribly stressed out before that, but I certainly was not when I left.

Speaking of massages, there is a CPA firm in the building downstairs from us that we refer a lot of work to. Well, at this time of year (tax season) CPAs work enormous hours under really important deadlines. One of the ways they deal with that is by bringing in a masseuse to give 15 minute chair massages to people to relax them. Since they are always trying to be nice to us, they have unofficially invited us to make use of their masseuse when she has some down time.

I gotta say...this is a corporate perk that more places should make use of. It is absolute heaven...15 minutes and you feel completely rested and recharged. I've done it twice so far, and hopefully a couple more before they take it away in April. It is not quite the same as laying down and getting an hour long rub down with warm scented oils, but it is a really great break during the day.

I may have a really busy week, and I may have to do some traveling, but I don't know for sure yet. I would rather not go anywhere, but I may need to...ahh well...I guess they do pay me to do something, after all.

Our Mexico delegation may be growing...so far it is me, The Boy, SHR, The Rocket Scientist, Big Sis, The Brain Surgeon, Munchkin and two of her friends. But Papa Bear may have some time off that he didn't expect, so he may come for all or part of it...and The Boy's sister may come, too, depending on whether or not she and her wife can get the time off at the same time. Anyone else wanna come? The more the merrier!!!

A PG-rated Post About The Boy

Once again...special shout out to my regular reader in La Jolla, CA for being the 4,000th visitor to my blog. Yay!!! She also gets a congratulations for recently discovering the wonders of semi-dorky boys...they are cuter, nicer, funnier and make MUCH better boyfriends than the generic hot ones do. That serves as a wonderful lead-in to today's topic.

I was chatting with Ally the other day, and I mentioned something about The Boy, and she responded with something like "I don't really feel like I know that much about him." That kind of took me by surprise, since I feel like I talk about him all the time. However, as I went back and looked, it seems like I mention him a lot, but I haven't really talk about him, per se. Obviously, that is a pretty big lapse on my part, and I would be remiss if I didn't rectify it in short order.

That means that today you (and by "you", I mean the small number of people who read on Sundays) get a really drippy love note about him:-) As a nod to Aaron's belief that I am a cheap slut incapable of non-sexual thoughts, I will keep this totally G-rated. (He didn't actually say that, he is much too polite for that:-)). This should also answer Aaron's criticism that I don't talk about non-Munchkin subjects enough. That part's actually pretty true...

Anyway, some background. He was born and grew up in a suburb about 25 miles north of Boston and graduated from high school there. He got the itch to go westward, so he went to The University of California in Berkeley. He worked in San Francisco for a little while after school, then came back this way to go to business school at Harvard (yes, I am name dropping to establish his smartness:-P). Since he graduated the second time, he has been working for a small money management firm in Boston in an analytical role.

He is really close with his family...he sees him Mother and Father regularly, and they are both fantastic (for a "how not to impress your potential future daughter-in-law", check in with Ella, and send her an e-hug...tough week). As I have covered a few times, he talks to his twin sister at least daily. That is, when they are not communicating by brainwaves...

He is not quite as close with his older brother and sister, but they all get along fine. His parents still live in the house they have been in for about 30 years, but they are both retiring soon (he is an accountant and she is a teacher) and are toying with the idea of selling the big house and moving into Boston to be closer to the two kids that are here. Both he and his sister would really love that, I think.

So...what is it that I love about him? Let's see...he makes me laugh, he is really, really funny. Not in a "class clown, center of attention" kind of way, but more in a really sharp, quick, witty kind of way. And he is really smart, even beyond the academic pedigree. He works incredibly hard, which I appreciate and admire. This has been the sticking point in several previous relationships of his...he is a borderline workaholic. It is something that I sort of like... I think that ambition is hot;-). At least for now...ask me again if we have kids someday...

He is also really good looking, too! He is a little bit on the tall side, and very lean. He's got black hair, green eyes and he may kind look a little bit like Christian Bale. It's not a real resemblance, but if I had to pick a famous person he looked like, that is the best I can come up with.

I love that he is so thoughtful, and that he always seems to know how to make me feel really, really special. Whether it is something he says, or a gesture, or just a little touch or a smile, he makes me feel like I am the only girl in the world. I have my share of quirks, many of which probably scare a lot of guys, but The Boy seems to be well-equipped to just roll with them. I don't need the attention or the affirmation that a lot of girls need, and I think that sometimes may come across as disinterest. He reads me very well.

Mostly, he just treats me like a princess and never complains about the fact that Munchkin comes ahead of him sometimes. He is perfectly willing to make a Saturday night dinner date into a party of three, for example. And in a much larger sacrifice, he understands and accepts that my "life schedule" is pretty dramatically altered on account of the surprise motherhood. In that sense, our relationship is gender-reversed...he is ready and willing to move faster and I am the one who tends to hesitate to move through new stages of the relationship. But it is certainly not out of some doubt about him.

And finally, I really like me with him. He makes me feel better about myself, helps me feel more confident and has absolutely made me a more thoughtful and compassionate person. I am a better person having known him.

So, I anticipate that there are some of you wondering if he is "the one." I feel pretty comfortable at this point saying that yes, he is (and we have spoken about this, so it's not news). I can absolutely envision marrying him and signing up for the "happily ever after." I think he will make a great husband and a great father, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have him as a part of my life. I do have some idea of a timetable, but I will keep that to myself for the time being...a girl has to have some secrets;-)

(Anyone who knows me just laughed at the notion that this would be my one "secret"...)

Anyway, that is a little more about The Boy...hopefully this gives you a little better idea of him. Feel free to pry if you think I have left anything out, I kinda like talking about him;-)

Hot Date!

Munchkin and I had a really fun date last night:-) We picked up pizza and brought it to The Boy's place and got to spend some time with him. He was a mess...lol...he looked like he spent the week in boot camp. I think he said he got like 10 hours of sleep after Monday night. Munchkin insisted on tucking him in on the sofa before we left:-)

We went to see Bridge to Terabithia, which is a book I never read. If you haven't read the book...umm...actually, I won't say anything, I don't wanna spoil it. I hated that everyone told me before The Sixth Sense "You are gonna be so schocked by the ending! Such a great surprise!" that I went in looking for it and knew within 3 minutes what would happen. So I am not going to give away any part of it. Anyway, it was pretty good, and falls into the category of "kids movies that are entertaining on their own, and therefore a real treat to take a kid to."

Since we had just eaten, we only got a medium popcorn (total approximate volume, 8 gallons) to split, and a medium Diet Coke (roughly 624 ounces). Then we took the way back corner away from anyone else because we like to talk during movies...:-D I probably think that is a lot cuter than anyone who has ever sat next to us in a movie...

After the movie, we met three of my friends who were having some drinks before they went out boy-hunting. The door guys let Munchkin in as long as we stayed at a corner table and left by 10:00. Also, my friends are gorgeous and they were completely dolled up and the bouncers clearly would have done whatever they asked...lol. So we hung there for a bit, I had a martini, and Munchkin had a 7up and Cranberry in a martini glass:-) Then she got really tired, so I skipped dessert and took her straight home and to bed.

She actually had a lot of girl-talking to do with the girls at the bar....she broke it off with the boyfriend at school. More than anything, I think this actually left her feeling relieved. She doesn't like to hurt people's feelings, but I guess he took the news pretty well and now they are "just friends". Ahh...love is a fickle beast.

Complete change of subject...

Did anyone watch The Black Donnellys on NBC on Monday or Thursday? I mentioned this the other day, but forgot to remind you or mention it again. I saw it Monday night, and I have some comments.

First, it was pretty good. They stuffed a lot into one episode, and I don't know if they can maintain that. It is a bit cliched, and their version of New York strikes me as, well, absurd...but it was an entertaining hour.

Second, I totally know those kids! Not the exact people, obviously, but I absolutely knew a mess of kids like that growing up. Kids who were basically nice, polite kids, but didn't have a whole lot else to do and ended up getting in all kinds of trouble basically out of boredom. The only thing missing is that the kids should be MUCH more reverential towards their mother. Irish boys are likely to stab you if you say something bad about their mother.

Third...the lead character Tommy (his real name is Jonathan Tucker, and look at that...he is from Boston) could seriously be BFFb's twin brother. They look almost exactly alike! They have really similar mannerisms, too...really it is kind of freaky. So yes, girls...I have a single friend who looks just like that and is willing to fight people to defend the honor of girls he cares about:-) And he needs a girlfriend! Sign up via email or IM...hee hee

This has turned into a long post for a Saturday. The Boy is coming over later to hang out, and I am very much looking forward to it! And not just for sexually devious reasons (Munchkin's party isn't until 3:00). Truth is I really kinda miss him. We have a couple different parties to go to, so we will sort of be socialites tonight.

And that, basically, is everything...have a good day!

School Days

As promised, today you get a fun post! I have a note from each of my sisters that is cute and funny. Also...it is really gross outside; 40 degrees, pouring rain, windy...lottsa fun!

I talked to Tinkerbelle's Mom on Saturday after I heard about my father, just to let her know I was coming and to make arrangements to see them if I could. She was just getting ready to sit Tinkerbelle down and tell her, so we talked a little bit about what she was going to say, and that she didn't think it was a good idea for her to go to the wake and stuff. I told her to give me a call when she was done, and that I had Monday night and all day Tuesday before the memorial service free.

She called me back a bit later to let me know that everything went fine. 'Belle was a little upset, but not really (the concept of "father" is kind of nebular to her anyway), and she was really excited that I was coming to visit. And then she said "Do you wanna go to school with her Tuesday?" Um...YEAH!!! How cute is that?

So she called first thing Monday morning to get everything straightened out with the school, and then Tuesday I picked 'Belle up in the morning and took her to school for the day. So much fun!!! Second graders are just the cutest things ever! At the beginning of the day I had to go to the front of the room so that Tinkerbelle could introduce me "This is my big sister, AM. I never knew about he until last year and we just met!" And then all the kids say "Good Morning, AM!" in unison.

I actually managed to get some work done because I didn't really have to pay attention during the reading and math sections of the lesson;-) And I ate lunch in the cafeteria with her and all her friends, and then when the day was over, we went home and had our afternoon snack...two cookies and a glass of milk! Super fun, and I am really, really glad I got to do it. She is really a cute kid.

OK, on to sister #1. I wanted to take her to the movies this weekend ("Bridge to Terabithia" for the curious), which she was all for. I suggested that she may want to invite The Little Dreamboat for their first real nighttime date. Yeah, not really all that interested...lol. I got a really non-committal "Eh, I dunno. I will think about it," from her. Then after school yesterday she told me that she thinks she is done with having a boyfriend, and just wants to go to the movies with me and no one else. She is gonna be such a heartbreaker...

That is a lot of the weekend plans. We are going to the movies tonight, and she is sleeping over at a friend's house tomorrow after yet another birthday party. I haven't seen The Boy for more than a quick hello since he dropped me off at the airport on Sunday, so I am looking forward to a quiet night with him tomorrow (and by "quiet", I mean that I plan on fucking him like seven times...) I am not sure what we are gonna do...we can figure it out tomorrow.

Kinda random note on that... Like everyone who's job is related to the stock market, he has had a brutally long week and is in need of some sleep. But at the same time, I haven't seen him since Sunday. So, as you might expect, we end up in a "What do you wanna do?" stalemate where neither of us really knows whether the other one is saying what they want, or what they think the other wants. Like, if he says "Yeah, come on over," does he really mean that, or is he just worried that I would be kinda ticked if he said he just wants to sleep. And if I say "Just go to sleep and I will see you tomorrow," do I really mean it or will I be mad that he doesn't want to see me? Really, I'd like to see him, but I am not that needy that I can't wait a day...he was in the office until after 11:00 pm three nights this week...I understand that he just wants to crash.

These are the kinds of things that are sometimes really hard to communicate in a relationship...wouldn't it be great to have a translator that could tell you exactly what someone is thinking, even if they can't or won't tell you? Ally said via IM last night something about not being able to "read his mind"...

Tada!!! Cue up the twin sister with the weird psychic connection...she says "No, I think he really just wants to go to bed, but he doesn't want you to get mad because he hasn't seen you all week." Seriously, this is like the coolest party trick ever...

Problem solved. If he gets done with work early enough, then Munchkin and I can bring him dinner on our way to the movies and he can fall into bed by 7:00 or so (or, more likely, fall asleep on the couch watching TV.) If not, then I will see him Saturday for the whole night.

Incidentally, it has been brought to my attention that I have actually told you all surprisingly little about The Boy. I seem to have covered the sex a lot, and some of the high-level stuff, but haven't really told you a ton about him. Clearly, a horrible oversight on my part, so I am going to try and write a more detailed post about him this weekend...so you all have that to look forward to;-)

So, that is about it...Happy Weekend, everyone. 14 days until we leave for Mexico:-)

(p.s. Special shout out to my loyal reader in La Jolla, CA...you are visitor #4,000...yay!!! Now, go find yourself one of those dorky boys:-P)

Wake me up, before you Go-Go

I will assume from the lack of comments that you all think I am an evil bitch...I guess the truth had to come out at some point;-) And if you had any doubts, how is that for a horribly tasteless Blog Post Title?

Today I am going to talk about the wake, which was Tuesday night, because it was really weird. But, after this, tomorrow you get a really fun post, I promise!

First things first, there was a brief memorial service, which was really just a designated quiet time for my Aunts and Uncles to meet, share some thoughts, and read some things that they felt appropriate for the occasion. To be honest, I felt really out of place... They all knew him, loved him, will mourn him, and feel a sense of loss over his passing. I felt like I was infringing on their time together to say goodbye to their brother.

After that, all my cousins (including Tinkerbelle and her Mom) joined us for dinner. That was actually really nice...nothing fancy, but a good chance to see everyone and say 'Hi'. One of my cousins is a senior in college, and he has two interviews in Boston next week...I think it would be really neat if he moved out here. I am single-handedly trying to relocate the entire Chicago metropolitan area to be closer to me...Lol.

My expectations of the wake were not remotely close to the reality. Honestly, I didn't thin it would be that big a deal. I figured that the people who came would largely be friends of my Aunts and Uncles coming to show support and pass along good wishes. I didn't think I would know many people at all, and outside of the BFFs, I didn't really expect that anyone would come just because they knew me.

The weirdness was really in two parts. First, it is really hard to explain that you didn't have a relationship with someone in a very short time. Typical example: A seemingly nice middle-aged woman approached and said "Hi, I am Sally Smileyface, I am Sweet Aunt #2's neighbor. I am so sorry for your loss." Now, Sally Smileyface obviously knows my aunt, and they have been crying briefly...likely because she has a brother the same age and it made her think of him and yada, yada, yada.

Well, it is really hard to say "I appreciate it, but I didn't really lose anything. Please, spend time with Sweet Aunt, she needs you attention more than I do." The alternative is to either feign sadness (I am not a good actress) or look like a cold-hearted bitch. Now, repeat that scenario like 70 times. So, I ended up with a whole bunch of awkward "Thank you for coming," moments.

This is why I think it is a really good idea that Tinkerbelle didn't come. It was weird enough for me, and I can't imagine how confusing it would be for a seven-year-old who never met her father. It would have been a lot of conflicting emotions.

A surprising number of people who identified themselves as my father's friends showed up as well, and none of them were as shady as I would have imagined. I guess it is sort of a self-filtering process...only people who are moderately respectable think to show up at a wake anyway. I guess I was surprised that he knew that many normal people. I had a really, really interesting conversation with a guy that was one of his best friends in high school and who he had remained in touch with, if not really close. I guess it was nice to see him from a little different, less-useless side.

What really surprised and sort of overwhelmed me was the number of people who showed up just to see me. A lot of old friends from High School came, and it was really great to see them. I don't really know how they found out (my father's name is spelled differently than mine, so you would have to read pretty deep into the obituary to get to "He leaves behind a daughter, AM, of Boston, MA") but word must have gotten around somehow.

The Judge came with his wife, an old boss that I still talk to came, some old neighbors, some of my Mom's family, two teachers. Again, I don't really know how they all found out (do people really read the obituaries that much?) but it was good to see them all. As the night went on, and I saw more and more people that I didn't expect to, I started to get a little more emotional about the whole thing. Not about my father, but about all the people who can do really, really nice things that you don't expect them to. And about how important it is to just show up and be present sometimes.

I know people often feel like they don't know what to say at wakes and funerals. Really, just showing up is 95% of the good gesture, and everything else is just a detail.