A very NyQuil week...

Being sick is the worst, and I've had a doozy of a cold this week. Actually, that's only partially true...having sick kids is the worst, and being sick with sick kids is really THE WORST.

LK came down with a cold on Saturday, and in the way that toddlers often do, she wanted to be held a lot. Which meant that she spent a lot of time coughing on me:-). She had a little fever, and a runny nose and a cough...and she had trouble sleeping and wanted to sleep in the bed with me. On Sunday afternoon, I could tell that I was coming down with something...and under the theory of "I am already infected", I slept in the bed with her again on Sunday and Monday nights.

By Tuesday, she was all better, but I was a mess. On Wednesday, I felt a little better, but also had sort of a NyQuil daze going on, and a wicked sinus congestion headache. I came back to work yesterday but didn't get a whole lot done all day. I feel better today, but I am still a little bit out of it and very congested.

In the category of TMI: the volume of mucus, phlegm and snot that has come out of my head this morning is truly staggering. I suppose that is a good sign, but it's been pretty horrible.

Hopefully I can get a good night's sleep and be back to myself tomorrow. Not a terribly busy weekend on tap, so I should be able to get some rest. Maybe that's what I will ask for for Mother's Day!

I did take the girls to the doctor this morning for their (belated) three-year appointment. They are both exactly 39 inches tall, which is quite tall for their age (clearly not a trait they get from their mother). Skinny little LK weighs 33.7 pounds, and MA is my chunky monkey, she weighs 37.7. But they are in great health, and were very good little girls at the doctor.

Not a whole lot else going on. Munchkin has ONE WEEK of school left and then some exams. If my unofficial count is correct, she has been invited to 487 proms, 298 of which she is attending (I am kidding, it only seems like that many) and many of which involved a couple of days away afterwards. So, she is going to be an awfully busy butterfly for the next month or so.

That is not going to stop me from throwing her the biggest graduation party that has ever been thrown in the history of graduation parties. There will be a tent. There will be BBQ. And there will be lots and lots of people. Like, everyone she has ever met, maybe:-).

As for my "state department clearance" joke from a couple of weeks ago...all clear. The party will be at Big Sis' house, with the tent out in front of the house.  Setting up a tent like that, along with having the BBQ pit wheeled in, requires a permit. And since Big Sis' neighbor happens to be our new Secretary of State, the Police Department had to check in with the State Department to ensure that there was no compelling reason why we couldn't have the party before the issued the permit.

So yes, technically, it required State Department approval. I'm not messing around... (incidentally, he is more than welcome to come:-) I'll make sure he gets an invite!)

Anyway, it's gonna be a bender in every sense of the word! And she deserves it!

Who do I want to be?

Oh, well Hi there, blog. It's been a while, no?

It has been a busy couple of weeks, and I haven't had anything that was dying to get out of my head and onto (virtual) paper, which means I haven't been here in a while. This could be why I am getting so many emails and comments from people offering to provide content for me;-)

So, let's see...where were we?

We have been doing a little bit of house hunting, but not making much progress at all. If you need any reason why, you can take a quick look at this brand new listing that is kind of indicative of what we would be looking for: a good-sized (but quite vertical) four-bedroom townhouse.  It has, obviously, one pretty obvious flaw. Or, 2.4 million of them, I suppose. I'm also pretty sure that it does not have any parking, either...

And yes, I am fully aware that this is an entirely self-imposed problem...we could buy ourselves a giant, lovely home in any one of a number of lovely suburbs. Suburbs that have some of the country's best public schools and rank as some of the most desirable places in the country for families. But you know what? I don't want to!!! (This could be where my daughters learned to have tantrums:-))

The Boy's friends (who seems to be drawn back to his hometown...which is one of those very lovely suburbs) and some of my friends all seem to be giving us the hard sell on the 'burbs. On lovely places like Belmont and Wellesley and Needham. And on slightly less 'burby-feeling places like Newton or Brookline. Or even more 'burby ones like Concord and Weston and Lexington and Andover. All of which make me want to gag just a little bit.

[That's not totally true...I could live in at least a small part of Brookline. Long-time readers may remember that my original plan when Munchkin was coming here was to move to Brookline because of it's close proximity to the city but excellent public schools. It also happens to be Smoking Hot Roommate's hometown. I will grant that anyone who lives in Coolidge Corner or inbound can still reasonably claim to live "in the city". But that's it.]

I am not sure that my disinterest in living outside of the city makes a lot of sense. It certainly doesn't make any sense to most parents of small children;-). I get a lot of really strange look from friends with little kids, or parents of the girls' friends. The most common question is usually something along the lines of  "But don't you want a house?" And no, I don't want a house, and it's not just because I can't stand the idea of doing yard work (although that is a big part of it!).

Most people will tell you that they wants some privacy and some space and the quiet that comes from having a buffer between you and your neighbors. But that's not who I am...I like being surrounded by people and noise and commotion. I like having people above and below me, or next to me. I like having people walk by our front door at all hours or the day. I'm a city kid, and I always have been and I always will be. I like the noise and commotion. The smells of restaurants (yea, I know, there are other smells, too). I hate...HATE...having to drive places.

Maybe I should say that again. I DESPISE having to get in the car for anything other than a long trip. I abhor it. Loathe it. Despise it. I wish I had a bigger vocabulary to get this point across;-)


The second question is always "But what about school?" and that one is a lot more reasonable. School is a problem, and living here almost certainly means private school. There are some good elementary schools, and some charter schools as well, but Boston has an absolutely absurd method of allocating seats in its schools (it's a long story....there were riots) that makes it an almost unworkable solution in many cases. Most reasonable best-case would be private school through sixth grade and then hope they can get into Boston Latin School. Or shell out the much larger dollars for private high school. Or, finally make the dreaded move to the 'burbs:-)

But we're willing to live with that. I'm not sure that The Boy is as adamantly opposed to leaving the city as I am, but he isn't in any kind of hurry, either. And he has a little more complete experience to speak from than I do...

Am I irrational? Of course I am...there are towns that would cost less to live in, and be quieter and safer and more kid-friendly, and where the girls would go to the same excellent schools with the same group of kids from ages 5-18. And they would play soccer and little league with those same kids. But I also feel like they'd be missing out on a lot. There is a lot to be said for raising your kids in a sheltered place with a lot of people just like them.

But, there is also a lot to be said for raising hip city kids, too.  Kids who may go to school in a bubble, but learn to make friends and build relationships with people from all kinds of places literal and figurative. Kids who simply can't ignore the world around them with all of its wonders and, yes, all of its tragedy.

Which usually leads to a thought that I keep to myself. "Don't you worry about raising your kids in a city environment?"

You know, as if I haven't done this before:-)

OK

An enormous, touching, and heartwarming outpouring of concern from people that I know only through the Internet. I'm OK, as is everyone I know.

I don't have any sense to make of it, but please be aware that the genuine concern coming from all corners of the world really does mean a lot.

-AM

Three

My little girls turn three on Monday, which is unbelievable both because the time has gone so fast, and also so slowly...

Tomorrow, however, is their birthday party:-). I didn't do first or second birthday parties, partly because I am lazy and partly because I have never really seen the point of having birthday parties for kids who don't know what a birthday is. But now, they definitely get it, they definitely love the idea of a party and they are definitely looking forward to it.

So, combine an hour and a half at Gymboree, a lot of pizza, some cake and a whole mess of children, and you have yourself a birthday party. We invited their friends from school, along with some other people we know that have kids their age...many of whom come in pairs;-) I'm sure that much fun will be had by all!

Now, if I can just figure out a way to tire them out tomorrow morning so that they will take naps in time for the party...

After that, we can start to talk about the absolute mother-effin-bender that we are throwing for Munchkin's graduation. It would be completely factual (if highly exaggerated) to report that the party will require the approval of the US State Department...

On Finishing. (Sort of)

The small, skinny, 12-year old girl got the news at school. Her teacher excitedly told her that her Grandmother would be coming to get her, and taking her straight to the hospital after school. It was not the first time that the girl's Grandmother had come to get her unexpectedly, but it was probably the first time that the reasons were good.

The girl wondered how she was supposed to pay any attention through her last two periods of the day. How could US History or Chemistry be remotely interesting at a time like this? How could anything else in the whole world matter at a time like this? The minutes crawled by, one by one, until the final bell rang and she was released.

The trip to the hospital was a blur. Her Grandmother talked about the news, but also about school and friends and everything that a Grandmother might talk with her Granddaughter about. But the girl was too excited to answer questions or to listen. The drive seemed interminable, the traffic a cruel joke, and the search for a parking space completely maddening. But finally, after what seemed like weeks, the elevator bell dinged, and they stepped out into a bright hospital hallway. Fighting her desire to run as fast as she could, the girl walked ahead of her Grandmother, counting the rooms one by one until she get to the one she was looking for. Bursting through the door, she saw her stepfather, normally so surly and stern, beaming. Her mother, seven months since her last drink ever, lay in the bed, looking very clearly tired, but the happiest that the girl ever remembered, or would ever remember, seeing her.

And in her arms, swaddled in striped hospital blankets, was the most perfect little baby girl that the World had ever seen. Just a fat little face, and two bright blue eyes barely visible through half-closed lids. The girl fell in love in an instant, and moments later, sitting quietly in a hospital chair holding her new little sister, the girl promised very quietly, to herself, that she would never leave that baby, and that she would never let anyone hurt her.

I did leave her, for a little while. But today, exactly eighteen years after my Grandmother picked me up at school to take me to go meet my new little sister, I think I have done a pretty good job of living up to my promise.

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Yup, today is Munchkin's EIGHTEENTH birthday. My little baby sister, who stopped being a baby a long time ago, is now officially an adult by every measure. That little, tiny lump of perfection, with the heart shaped face and the big blue eyes, is now a brilliant, gorgeous, college-bound, globe-trotting adult with a very real place in the world that she is growing to understand by the day.

In addition to being a symbolically important day, it has some very real importance as well. Most obviously, as of today I am no longer her legal guardian, and I am back to just being her plain old sister:-). I filed my last report with the Illinois family courts last month, and am no longer subject to the supervision (or a potential surprise visit!) of the child services authorities in either Illinois or Massachusetts.

And in the event that something really bad were to happen to me, she is no longer subject to a court's ruling on where she can live...she can pick her own spot. So, a week ago, if I got hit by the proverbial beer truck, her guardianship would have been the subject of a legal ruling (with her brother almost certainly being named her guardian). Today, if the same beer truck hits me, she can make up her own mind on who she wants to live with.

I am probably going to keep an eye out for any beer truck today, just to be safe, but I would be lying if I told you that I hadn't always had a little nagging worry that something would happen to me and she would get swept back to Chicago. I never did get her brother to completely promise to move out here and keep her where she is. But today, none of that matters, because I have a full-fledged adult on my hands!

(Well, except for her education Trust, which she doesn't get control of until she turns 25...hee hee:-))