One Year (and five days)

Seems I forget to mention here that my anniversary was last weekend:-) Not that we did a whole lot...it was a pretty low key day. I did get flowers and a card, though:-)

You know...last year seems a LONG time ago!!! While the first year has really flown by, it just seems like that was ages and ages ago. I think back to the details of the whole weekend (like sneaking off to take naps at every chance, and being sort of queasy the whole time) and it just feels as if it was an entirely different lifetime. And to be honest, I guess it sorta was...

While it has been a really kooky and jam-packed year, it has also been a really wonderful one. We have been blessed with two unbelievably adorable new additions to the household, and remain happy, healthy and content. The whole experience of having the babies has made me realize that The Boy is probably an even better father and husband than I had expected, and I feel like I had set the bar pretty high! It has shown me that he is patient beyond comprehension, understanding and kind and generous and thoughtful and really, really loving. I don't want to embarrass him too much, so I will go easy on the gushing.

But...I sure am happy that I married him:-)

What's in a name?

When I was very little, I was bothered by the fact that my Mother and I had different last names. I guess I sort of wonder why it is that she never changed mine to hers sometime when I was a toddler and it was clear that my father had disappeared forever. I think I am also a little confused at to why I never asked...I was certainly aware at a young age that I had been essentially abandoned by my father.

When I was a teenager, my Mother married and changed her name. It was actually a good thing that I never had her maiden name, because it meant that I was never pressured to change my name with her. While I can acknowledge the importance that my mother's husband had in sobering her up, providing me with one dynamite little sister and taking a whole lot of abuse from my mother in abetting my running away from home, the truth is that we never really got along great, and I would have fought tooth and nail against taking his last name.

When I was in my early 20's, I finally found out the truth about my name...that it was misspelled, and that it really belonged to no one. I met my wonderful paternal family, and thought about changing my name to the correct spelling. However, doing so seemed like it was acknowledging the contribution of the provider of that name (my father) that I was unwilling to recognize. He didn't earn the right for me to bear his name.

In my mid 20's, I took in my little sister, and became sensitive to the fact that we had different last names. Suddenly, taking my mother's married name didn't seem like such a bad idea...it really would have been me taking Munchkin's name, not my mother's or her husband's. And to be honest, my opinion of the provider of that name (my mother's husband) had improved since my initial hesitation to take his name. But having different names never bothered Munchkin, so it never seemed like a pressing enough issue to go through all of the trouble.

And now, I am once again faced with the prospect of a new name. The Boy's name is a perfectly fine name that I happen to like very much. I even have a regular reader/commenter who married within the last year or so that had the same name before she took her husband's. I don't have a middle name, so I could very easily take my own last name and make it my middle name, taking his. One more powerful reason...inside my tummy, there is a little creature with newly formed fingers that will have his name as well.

Suddenly, though, I find myself attached to my bastardized, oft-considered, misspelled, mongrel of a last name. I like that I don't have to share it with anybody else. I like that it is a symbol of my own independence. I like that it has a story. I like that it only has three different letters and that I am early in the alphabet. I am ambivalent about the most famous previous owner of my name once shooting a key figure in American history;-).

For his part, The Boy doesn't care. He agrees with my basic dislike of hyphenated names, but has no insecurities about my having to take his name. I am OK with anyone who wants to call me Mrs. Boy or Accidentally Boy or whatever. And there is a very good chance that I will, at some point, be ready to give up my own name and take his officially. Just not yet.

Once, a long time ago, I wrote that "My name doesn't belong to anyone." Well, it turns out that I was wrong about that.

My name very much belongs to someone.

It belongs to me.

An old married lady

Hi peeps:-) One awfully tired bloggirl here! So much to get you caught up on, and so little energy to do so...

First of all, I had an absolute blast all weekend! The weather was beautiful, everyone was in a good mood and I got to see just about everybody in the world that I really care about that. What could possibly be better than that? OK...just a touch warmer would have been ideal, but that is really nit-picking. It is just a super neat feeling to have everyone who matters to you in one place at the same time:-)

I cried...kind of a lot. I could try to blame it on being hormonally unbalanced, but we should all recognize by now that I am just basically a cryer, and that is all there is to it. I had to make a point to not look at Munchkin much during the ceremony, because every time I would get a glimpse of her, the waterworks would start. I cried when I walked down the aisle, and when we said our vows, and when BFFg told us we were married. And during our first dance...so you get it, I was a crying fool.

There were, however, two complications that showed up at maybe not the best time for me. First, the exhaustion...ugh! I was doing OK until about Thursday, and have just been totally and completely wiped since then. It was an awfully packed weekend for someone struggling to muster a whole lot of energy...lol. I actually managed to sneak in several naps with no one really knowing, which was helpful:-). On Friday, most everyone who was there already went golfing, and I had "some stuff to do". That stuff? Sleeping...

Even Saturday, I was up early with the excitement, but still managed to sleep for like an hour and a half while people were getting ready and dressed and whatnot. You wouldn't think that the bride could just disappear for that long, but I managed with a little bit of a cover story from Smoking Hot Roommate and Big Sis. Thanks guys:-). I actually skipped most of the after-party because I was just completely zonked...although I am guessing that most everyone was probably assuming that I was rushing back to go to bed for other reasons...lol.

The other problem is that I seem to have acquired an annoying case of morning (er...all day) sickness as well. It sort of comes and goes, but it has gotten worse in the last week or so, and I didn't really feel great all weekend. I am trying to figure out what I can eat (and when) to manage it, but I will talk to the doctor today when I go for my first visit to see if there is anything else I can do. I would describe that as kind of an annoyance all weekend, as it was sort of hard to be around people and eating the whole time when some of the foods kinda made my stomach turn.

One final note on the wedding...in the form of a piece of advice to any of my unmarried readers that may find themselves planning a wedding any time soon. My laissez-faire attitude to planning has been pretty well documented, and aside from saving me huge amounts of time and aggravation, I think I enjoyed the day more because of it. Why? Well, because it was all sort of a surprise to me...and that made it all the better. The flowers were gorgeous, and the first time I saw the whole thing set-up was like a great big Christmas present:-) The food was all fantastic, and the cake (which came from a woman who appears on those Food Network challenges sometimes:-)) was awesome.

So, I know it is hard because everyone tells you that you need to fret over every detail of the day, but try and delegate. Tell the caterer to make whatever people like most, let the florist pick out the prettiest, most seasonal flowers, let the baker make whatever cake people like most, and then just enjoy what they bring.

Next up on my ridiculously busy agenda? Back in school today, and struggling to keep my eyes open. My section-mates brought me celebratory wedding cupcakes, which was awfully nice of them:-). Do you suppose that they will notice when I sneak out for my 2:30 doctor's appointment?

And after that, I want to go home and sleep until October!!!

Somethings

Something old: I am wearing my mother's wedding ring on my right hand. She had bigger hands than me, so it fits on my middle finger. Her rings belong to Munchkin, but I hope she would want me to wear it. As complicated as our relationship was, I am sure I will think about her at some point tomorrow, and I like the idea of having a little bit of her there.

Something new: The dress, the shoes. Oh...and the baby!!!

Something borrowed: The same necklace that Big Sis wore on her wedding day, which is the same necklace that Smoking Hot Roommate wore on her wedding day, and is (not surprisingly) their mother's.

Something blue: The florist tells me there will be some blue flowers...Good thing she is on top of this! If i wear underwear, it will be blue, too;-). But I have to see whether any lines show when I put the dress on for real!!!

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Interesting thoughts on the name change...seems like virtually everyone votes to change it. I think I am keeping mine, but I will go into that some other time (and may very well change my mind;-)).

And that, folks, is all that I am writing as a single girl! I will be back sometime next week to let you know how it all went!

Ms. Me vs. Mrs. Boy

I changed the Thought for the Day in reaction to a History Channel snippet I saw last night talking about Churchill. Hopefully my handful of UK readers are particularly proud of that one;-)

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First things first...I can't eat enough tomatoes these days. I want them on everything. And the idea of fried foods makes me gag...which could really be a problem when it is time for chicken fingers next Thursday... Also, if I get hungry, I feel really, really sick, so I need to eat something every couple of hours to avoid that. I have felt a little queasy the last few mornings when I wake up, but nothing too bad, and very manageable.

Hopefully that all holds off for at least another five days, since I have some business to attend to in the meantime:-). I was actually pretty focused and not worried this morning, right up until the end of my first class when the professor stopped to tell everyone to wish me luck because I would be out of class for a few days to get married. It was actually pretty nice of him, but it reminded me that I have a lot going on for the next few days!

Mother nature is not being terribly cooperative with me. While the forecast for the weekend has improved and is no longer calling for rain, it is going to be very windy...and a little on the chilly side. Not sure what that means for my desire to have the ceremony, pictures and cocktails outside. I am thinking we may just have to set up for the ceremony inside, and play it be ear on the pictures. Cocktails are easy...people can go in and out as they please. Either way, it is not a huge deal. I'd rather the pictures be outside, but I am not gonna cry over it.

The first of the out-of-towners are trickling in tomorrow, which is making me really excited. That makes it quite a bit more "real", and will definitely set the festive atmosphere. I have a bunch of stuff to do tomorrow, but I think that The Boy, Munchkin and I will head out tomorrow evening (or earlier if she wants to skip out on soccer practice and he wants to bail on work). I am not sure that I need a full day on Friday to get anything ready, but it will at least be good to be there and be around all day as people arrive and get settled.

A bunch of our friends are golfing on Friday morning, and if I feel like I don't have too much to do, I may join them. I can already tell you that tomorrow and Friday will be a pretty lengthy cocktail party (not for this girl!). The Boy's parents are throwing the rehearsal dinner on Friday night for the wedding party, and then we are having a cookout on the beach for anyone who is in from out of town (it is gonna be chilly:-)). I am glad to have all of this stuff to do, since it will give me a lot more chance to visit with people and not feel like I need to rush to see everyone during the actual wedding.

I guess that is about it...I am a little nervous, very excited and just basically looking forward to a great weekend, a great party, and the start of a whole lifetime of The Boy. Not sure when I will blog next, but it may not be until next week. In the meantime...wish me luck!

You can occupy your time by answering me two questions:
1) Any last minute advice?
2) Should I change my name? Yea...still haven't decided;-)

A wedding, you say

You know what I have missed? Chicken fingers!!!

But it's that time of year again...first chicken fingers of the season. I am happy to report that Munchkin has not outgrown our regular weekly dinner date. A new friend from school came with (the same girl I met and had ice cream with last week), which has reminded me that I can now show Munchkin off to a whole new batch of people:-D

Actually, I still find that I haven't talked much about my personal life...it is easier to ask questions than to give answers sometimes...

So, let's get to some thoughts on school after three days. Primary observation is that the people are really smart, but mostly they are super motivated. It is like the entire class is filled with the people who volunteer to take on the extra work whenever the boss asks. Maybe everyone is still on their best behavior because it is still basically first impression time. But basically, everyone is just really, really motivated.

There are some people that I like to call "over-zealous networkers". Networking, to me, is kind of a subtle science...you have to legitimately enjoy meeting people in order for it to work. If it seems forced, then it is awkward and ineffective. It is a fine line, and some of these people need to tone it down a bit...lol. Maybe Jenny, an avowed proponent, can give them some lessons.

The work has been minimal so far, although I think that will change dramatically as time goes along. Mostly we have had case studies and in-class discussions, which mostly have been focused on getting everyone involved and getting us all to think about things in maybe a little bit different way than before. It has been interesting enough so far that I have resisted the temptation to spend the entire class gchatting;-). That will definitely change!

Anyway, so far, so good. I definitely feel comfortable around everyone, and I am pretty sure I will be able to handle the work. I suppose that, at some point, I will need to figure out whether or not I will be giving birth during finals...lol...but that can wait! I already talked to all of my current professors about taking Thursday and Friday off next week, and then the Monday after the wedding, which they were all pretty cool with. The second semester ones will hopefully be equally understanding about some possible maternity issues...not much they will be able to do about it at that point, eh?

Lots of little things to do this weekend in preparation for the big weekend! I am feeling pretty calm about the whole thing, which I think is partially because I have just been so busy with so many other life changes lately. I did have a bit of a moment last night when I sorta said "Oh shit, I am getting married in like a week and I have all of these people coming in from out of town, and what am I forgetting?" and got maybe a little bit snippy and short with The Boy because I was stressing. But he was good enough to give me some time to fret by myself (what have I said? He knows me!) and calm down. Yes, I apologized:-)

I guess that is about it for now. Project Runway is on, and then bed time for me! Toodles:-) I will give you official word on accidentally baby once I know...hee hee...

Wedding Things and School Starting

It is a beautiful but unmistakeably end-of-summer day at the beach, and having spent most of it outside enjoying the weather, I shall now take a moment to check in here.

My first two days of school (which involved no actual classes, but lots of social events...I like this speed) went pretty well. It is a little overwhelming to meet so many people at once, but I am definitely making some progress, and I like most of the folks that I have met so far. I have all of my books and materials and my section schedule and everything I will need to get going next week. Yes, I bought a t-shirt, too...:-P

Things start for real on Tuesday, and should be at a pretty high pace quickly. I have heard over and over again that one of the main tenets of business school is to assign more work than can possibly be done. The idea is that, when you are working, you always have too much to do. You have to learn to prioritize, delegate and manage your own time...and over-work during business school is a big part of that. I am not sure expecting it will help me all that much, but at least I know it is coming;-)

But before then, one last summer weekend at the beach! The weather is supposed to be perfect, and we have a full four days down here to enjoy it. Labor Day always depresses me, and I am sure that I will be in a pretty down mood when we are leaving, but I am going to try and enjoy it and not dwell on the expiring season. Besides, I am getting married in two weeks, so I have plenty to be happy about!

Let's see...I feel kind of ashamed to have little to report on that front. Dress is in and all set to go...it is not really fitted, so there were no additional alterations needed when I picked it up this week. Plus, since she made it for me, it's not like she was altering another dress to begin with anyway. Shoes and jewelry are all set, too. I know that most brides tend to pick out those things for all of the girls in the wedding, but I would rather they wear whatever they want. I don't know who made up the rule that everyone has to match totally top to bottom.

I had another friend almost have a heart attack when I told her that I didn't have a "practice" hair and makeup session. Seriously? I know it is sort of fun and can mean peace of mind if you are gonna do something fancy that you have never done before...but the idea that it is totally required is just preposterous. "Pull my hair back" is not something that a professional hairdresser should need to practice. And call me Cindy-Lou-Homemaker, but I can do my own makeup...it would be pretty absurd to have a sorta-casualish beach wedding with a totally tricked-out Tammy Faye look all of a sudden. I never wear much makeup, and I am not starting now.

Basically, things are pretty well set to go. Caterer is in charge of all things food related, and the florist is in charge of all things decoration related. They have both called me to see if we need to check in to go over things before the wedding...a big "nope" on that. As long as they are gonna be there, I don't really need to see them at all.

I have been warned by a lot of people that putting together the seating chart is really hard. Apparently, those people care a lot more about petty personality issues than I do;-). Took me about ten minutes, and then it took The Boy about the same. And if Aunt Sally and Uncle Joe have an issue because they could never agree on who should pay for the broken sink at the lake house they rented 15 years ago, well too bad about them. If you are too petty to suck it up and sit at the same table for four hours and be civil, then I don't have time to care about your feelings;-)

[Hey, I am kind of a bitch, aren't I?]

I do still have to put together some welcome bags for people as they get to their hotels or houses or whatever. Nothing fancy, just some snacks and water and stuff...I always like having those things when I go away to a wedding, so I want to give them to everyone. I am particularly a fan of getting back to the room super late, having had too much to drink, and finding a bottle of water, some chips and some M&M's to welcome you home. Life's little pleasures:-)

I know what I am getting the girls as bridesmaids gifts, but I can't tell you yet because too many of them read this:-). And it shall be a surprise! Actually, you will probably think it is dorky and boring, but I like it a lot...so there!

That is gonna do it for today, folks! I hope everyone enjoys the long weekend, and I will meet you back here next week...

Hoodwinked!!!

Well, the girls managed to pull one over on me...and did a right fine job with it, too!

On Friday, I packed up Tinkerbelle to drive her back to Boston to get her on her plane home. Or so I thought;-). I should have known something was up when Munchkin offered to ride up and back with me because she inexplicably had the day off. So, what did I find when I got back to Boston?

Surprise! Bachelorette party...

Turns out that Tinkerbelle was not actually leaving on Friday, she was leaving Saturday morning, which gave her the chance to hang out with us on Friday night (and Munchkin, too) in Boston. Smoking Hot Roommate and The Boy did some behind-the-scenes chicanery to fool me:-).

Friday was pretty low-key. Dinner and drinks and totally PG-rated activities with some local friends...we went out in the North End and then hung out at SHR's place for the night. Boss Foxy came with her daughter, and one of Munchkin's best friends came over, too (and slept over at our place). All in all, it was really fun, and I was obviously really happy to include Munchkin and Tinkerbelle in the festivities. We have sort of done the same kind of thing for Big Sis and SHR's bachelorette parties to get Munchkin involved, and it is a fun tradition.

Saturday morning started with getting Tinkerbelle to the airport, getting Munchkin's friend back home and getting her back to the beach (Papa Bear stuck around until Saturday morning so he could drive her back). All went smoothly, and then it was off to...

Las Vegas, NV...

No one would tell me where we were going until we got to the airport...although I had my suspicions once I knew that Munchkin wasn't coming. If it had just been a beach place, she probably would have come with us and just stayed in the hotel while we went out. So, Big Sis, SHR, both of The Boy's sisters, four other friends and I headed out, got there with no trouble and got checked in and settled in time to sit by the pool for afternoon cocktails;-).

BFFg was already there, along with two of my cousins and Munchkin's sister-in-law (they all flew out from Chicago together). I was actually really happy that Munchkin's SIL came...I hadn't expected her to at all, but I like her very much, she has been incredibly good for Munchkin's Brother, and I definitely don't think she has nearly enough fun!!! So, I was happy that she was willing to leave the baby at home and take a few days to come out to celebrate with me.

The Body, The Mouth and another college friend arrived as we were sitting by the pool, and the fun was started! I should actually note that our trips to Vegas in college were WAAY crazier, but we still caused a little bit of trouble. Drank too much, ate too much, gambled a little bit (at least I only gambled a bit...I can't speak for my compulsive gambler friends), danced a lot, met tons of new friends, and just basically had a grand old time.

Thankfully, the girls did not request that I wear any stupid "Bride" clothing...or any tiaras...and just basically wanted to let loose, tear some shit up and have a good time. We hit a whole mess of clubs, ran up some astronomical bar tabs (not to mention the damage that the girls did to the tabs of the hopeless men trying to hit on them...) and then wore very dark sunglasses during the day to ease the pain of the headaches:-).

All in all, a really great time. Highlights included a totally priceless monologue from The Mouth on Saturday night about men that try too hard (complete with lots of examples pointed out in the crowd), Big Sis winning and then immediately losing a sum of money that nearly made me choke during three hours of blackjack, a random meathead losing track of his location while trying to talk to us at the pool and falling backwards into said pool, my cousin breaking a heel, tripping and totally feeling up a random old woman when she fell, and a couple other things that I will keep to myself;-)

One thing we did not do a lot of was sleep! So by the time we got back last night, I was totally beat. I took The Boy pretty much straight to bed...hee hee...and then slept pretty straight from about 10:30 until 9:00 this morning. And once I finish this blog entry, I am headed back to the beach for a couple of days and then on to the great Parisian Love Adventure of 2009:-)

More on that later...for now...I am off to the beach!

Whirwind on the Way

I will give everyone a couple more days on the second set of questions...the first time around it took a few days for everyone to get a chance to answer that wanted to. Again, I am super impressed with the results so far!

It has recently dawned on me that I have a lot of stuff going on for the rest of the summer. Next Tuesday is our condo closing, which I am very excited about. Then Tinkerbelle is coming the next day (Wednesday) and staying through the following week. That coincides with my last day at work (which will be either next Wednesday, Thursday or Friday, not sure yet).

I haven't really written about that much, but I am finding it to be kind of emotional. This place has been kinda like home for me...it is the only "real" job that I have ever had, and the people have all been really wonderful to me. I will miss seeing them all and working with them all. I won't be totally gone, since I will still maybe help out on occasional things on an hourly basis, and will likely be back at Christmas and next summer and whatnot. But it is still going to be a change, and that always makes me a little thoughtful. More next week maybe.

So, I am headed back to the beach, this time for a full-on vacation with Tinkerbelle sometime late next week (maybe Thursday after work). She will be around for a little over a week, and then Munchkin and I are headed to France on the 21st, returning on the 28th. That leaves about another week of summer, then school for both of us right after Labor Day...and right into the wedding...and there is a Bachelorette party in there somewhere, too, but I still don't know exactly when! Anxiously awaiting the surprise...

In other words, a really busy couple of months forthcoming! But all good stuff:-)

In the dark

I have a bachelorette party coming up. I know that much. But that is really about all...I don't know what we are doing, where we are going, when it is going to be or specifically who is coming. Obviously, I have a pretty good idea, but I won't know until I show up...

The suspense is killing me! Smoking Hot Roommate is in charge, and I know that she has been working on it, but she has been really good about keeping the details from me. Not even little snippets here and there...and everyone else has been good about it, too.

I have my suspicions...I am guessing that we will have something either in Boston or at the beach first, and then travel somewhere for a couple days. I think it would be hard to bring Munchkin with us anywhere, but she definitely has to go to at least some of it, hence the part that will be around here.

Beyond that, though, I have no idea. Knowing SHR, it could be almost anywhere in the Western Hemisphere...of I guess even some parts of the Eastern...

Anyone care to venture a guess? Or offer a suggestion? I am bubbling over with curiosity...

Please don't let the family courts in Illinois read this

You know what you are getting today? How about a Sunday post...now THAT is a throwback. I can't even tell you the last time I posted on a Sunday. But, we are back from the beach and from dropping Munchkin's brother and sister-in-law and the baby at the airport, and now The Boy is grilling dinner and I am preparing to enjoy that and maybe a cocktail or two on the deck on this beautiful (a touch chilly:-)) Sunday night.

And I am, for the moment, feeling a little bloggy. Result...blog! I am also not sure that I will be around tomorrow, so I am getting a jump on Monday's post...

Let's see...the weathermen promised a kinda of so-so weekend, and it turned out to be absolutely gorgeous. Well, Saturday was, today was a little iffy. Warmer than they said, and sunny and just downright delightful. Munchkin is totally settled in at the beach and enjoying herself thoroughly. She is working hard (she got her first ever paycheck on Friday and was pretty fired up about that), has made a lot of new friends already, and is just basically on top of the world these days. I am jealous;-).

Big Sis is on parenting duty this week, and I am a little worried about what kind of trouble the two of them may get into together...lol. They have never been together alone for that long before, and it could turn into some mischief:-D. Just to give you an idea, I actually had the following conversation with Big Sis this weekend (I think she was, mostly, kidding):

Big Sis: I am hoping that I can get a lot of work done with all of the peace and quiet.
Me: Imagine how productive you can be all week without SHR and I forcing drinks into your hand all the time.
Big Sis: Munchkin can drink, right?
Me: Ha ha, no.
Big Sis: Not at all?
Me: Um, no.
Big Sis: I don't mean like totally wasted...but we can have a sunset vodka tonic, right?
Me: Um, no, you most certainly can not.
Big Sis: Even if we are staying in all night?
Me: She is completely and totally banned from consuming any vodka under any circumstances.
Big Sis: Hmm. Good to know.
Me: And gin, rum and tequila, too.
Big Sis: Yea, that was my next question.

So, you can see what I am up against! (For the record, she was not seriously planning on slugging Ketel One all week with the 14-year-old. DSS can be assured that Munchkin is very mature, capable hands.)

One final note on my post from last Friday (which set a new record for comments for me, I think:-))...we decided to go ahead and have the invitations say "Ms. Tinkerbelle and Ms. Munchkin cordially invite you..." and I think it is super cute.

A couple of people asked how The Boy's parents would feel, and also how Papa Bear may feel. The Boy's parents would never worry about petty things like that, and his Mom will find it completely adorable. As for Papa Bear (who, for the record, is not actually paying for anything directly...The Boy and I are paying for the whole thing...but he is providing the venue, since it is his house), he would probably feel a little weird if the invitations came from him. I am, after all, not actually his daughter...

So, that decision has been made. As have most of the others, but I put more thought into this than the rest of them.

Invitations

I am out this morning, and maybe even this afternoon, but I had something I really wanted to write, so I am gonna churn it out in hopes for opinions.

The topic is wedding invitations, and more specifically the opening of said invitations. Traditionally, invitations say "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents cordially invite you to celebrate the marriage of their daughter..."

Or, sometimes you will see "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents cordially invite you..."

More often now you will see "Ms. Bride and Mr. Groom cordially invite you to celebrate their marriage," or "Together with their parents..."

We actually thought about this for a bit, and considered "Mr. and Mrs. The Boy's Parents, and in loving memory of AM's Mom," or "Together with his parents and in loving memory of her mother..." before eventually deciding on just "Ms. AM and Mr. The Boy invite you..."

But I had an idea the other day...it is kind of whimsical and a bit cheesy, but I think I like it...

"Ms. Munchkin and Ms. Tinkerbelle cordially invite you to celebrate the marriage of their sister, AM to The Boy..."

What do we think?

How can I write so much about so little?

I realized today that I am approaching 700 posts on this blog...and that let me to a bit of a "Holy Shit" moment. That is a whole lot of writing. Much of it about almost nothing at all:-) To be honest, I am not sure how school will affect my blogging this fall, so I am kind of approaching a blog-crossroads in the near term. However, I am not going to worry about that today. Maybe I will deal with that on Wednesday when I write the actual 700th post. Or maybe not.

Headed to the beach right after work...it looks like we will have another OK-but-not-great weekend. The forecast is calling for a lot of sun, but temperatures in the low-mid 60's. Not exactly beach weather, but certainly nice enough to enjoy ourselves. (Side note: I am weirdly nervous and fidgety and a touch queasy...hopefully I will be over it by Monday. I will likely cry.)

Since several of you have asked me privately, I will give you a wedding update. I think we have a date in September, but it is still not set in stone. I will have to know by the beginning of July so that I can have new invitation printed and mailed in time. The vendors have all said that they can either do any Saturday in September, or they can recommend someone else if they are booked. In summary, the date change is not really phasing me a whole lot right now...and hopefully it will not. Really, I only care about who can and can't make it. The rest of the planning is not that important.

Dress should be ready next week:-) None of it is fitted too finely that my gaining a couple of pounds over the summer should matter, so I am not really worried about that.

And just in case you need to feel a little bit jealous: Munchkin's last day of school was yesterday, so she is officially on summer vacation. Ahh, those were the days!

Who knew I could like the office this much?

OK...I seem to have gotten through the bulk of this work stuff, which will allow me to spend a lovely day g-chatting, surfing the Internet, and planting ideas in the boys heads for my fabulous going-away present (is lobbying for this bad form? Probably...)

Other than that, I am ready for another weekend...two days of work is plenty for me to be ready:-). And, this, of course, is a big one since Munchkin is not coming back with us (not entirely true...she is coming back on Sunday, but riding down with her brother on Monday morning when he gets here...for all intents and purposes, she is moving down there this weekend.) I still have some anxiety over this, both because I am worried about how it will work out and because I will just plain miss her all the time. But overall, I am feeling pretty comfortable about it. For now.

I was happy to hear that he managed to pick up a little bit of work while he will be down there. I mentioned before that he is essentially taking all of his vacation time to do this for her, and that his wife is taking two weeks off from work, so I know that it was a financial sacrifice for both of them...even though they were glad to do it. But I guess he called a couple of mechanics down there to explain that he would be there, was certified in whatever mechanics get certified in, and could help out part time if they needed it.

One of them responded right away that June was always incredibly busy for him as people come back to the island after the winter and need whatever vehicles they left there fixed...and that he could really use some help, especially on the weekend in the middle of his visit. So, it looks like he will be able to work for at least 20-25 hours and offset some of the burden. I hadn't even thought of anything like that, but I was glad to hear that he worked it out.

Moving right along to more enjoyable subjects...my bachelorette party is coming up, but I don't know exactly when, nor do I know what we are doing. Smoking Hot Roommate is in charge, and she is keeping the details a secret (well, a secret to me, but not anyone else.) Originally I had wanted it to be somewhere that Munchkin could come for the whole thing, but I have a feeling that I will not really be in a kind of state to be a responsible example, so that got nixed pretty quickly. My guess is we will hang out here the first night and do something a little more low-key so she can come, and then we will head somewhere else and drink our tits off after that:-P

Should we start guessing?

Your shrink is right: it is your mother's fault

I have come to a conclusion about weddings and the difficulties that brides usually run into in planning them.

Like most psychiatrists generally diagnose: it is all the Mother's fault.

I had an email conversation with a fellow blogger about the number of people that her mother was strongly suggesting she invite to her wedding. In the end, she (the bride) decided that it was simply not a battle worth fighting, and gave in to her mother's request. She had similar issues over showers, as well.

And this is very much a recurring theme...talk to any girl who was recently or soon will be married, and she will tell you that she did things that she didn't want to because her mother "made her". Mothers of the Groom are no picnic, either...but that is not the point of this post (and mine is a total dream helper:-)).

Now, think about the girls you know who had super low-stress wedding processes...and I can almost guarantee that their mothers were pretty uninvolved in the process. Or, in the case of several of my favorite girls (and me) they didn't have a Mother. My intention is obviously not to gloat about the virtues of losing your parents...but I am becoming convinced that the Mother of the Bride is a very common source for a large part of the stress of planning a wedding.

Example: it is very commonly suggested that "You have to invite entire groups of people. You can't invite just some of your cousins...you have to invite all of them or none of them." This is, in my most humble opinion, absolutely inane. Seriously...how dumb is that? Someone is entitled to be invited to your wedding because you happen to really like someone else who is related to you in the same way? And yes, I completely understand the rationale behind it and the social custom...but when a lot of weddings can cost a couple hundred bucks a person, it is an awful lot to foist on someone in the name of social graces [caveat: if the mother of the bride is paying the bill...well, then this is all moot, she can do whatever she wants:-P]

I had a friend who invited five people that she had never met before because she wanted to invite several or her second cousins that she knew quite well, and was told that she had to observe this rule. Well I have a new rule: if I don't know you, I am not inviting you. I don't want to meet anyone at my wedding for the first time (unless, of course, they are the guest of someone I did invite...in which case, I still didn't invite them: someone else did:-P).

But who enforces these kinds of rules? Usually, I am guessing that it is the Bride's mother. Somehow, there is a feeling that someone might be offended if someone else is invited in favor of them. Call me callous, but "someone" can blow it out of his or her ass...that is a pretty selfish thing to get offended over. I don't have a lot of use for people who can't understand that space and cost concerns, as well as personal preference, might mean that I can't invite them to my wedding even though I may want to.

Anyway, I am off track from my basic point: the stress in planning a wedding is largely a function of the involvement of the Bride's Mother.

Discuss.

Non-Shower

Seems like no one liked my wisdom of yesterday...perhaps the tongue-in-cheekness of it didn't come across. I still maintain that it is true...but that is neither here nor there.

Anyway, on to newer topics. Chicago this weekend for my non-shower and to visit. Munchkin is coming with me (she hasn't seen her niece in forever!) but The Boy is staying home. The big reason is that his brother is coming to visit this weekend, but I am not sure he would have come with me anyway.

I am told that we are expecting pretty much all of my female relatives, save for two aunts and a cousin that are definitely not invited;-), plus a couple of friends. I think the total will be around about 25 people...which should be a good size. And I am getting my wish: a couple hours of cocktails and light appetizers with no presents;-). And cake:-D.

[The invitations included a note that said something to the effect of "AM has requested that there be no gifts, and is likely to throw a tantrum if you try and give her one. So please, don't".]

It will be a little on the early side, which will allow the people that want to get home early to do that...and will act as a nice warm-up to those of us that want to go out afterwards. I am actually not real sure what the plan is, but I think there may be a dozen or so people that want to go out to dinner afterwards...I am not sure, since I am not in charge:-).

It won't be a long trip...leaving after work Friday and coming back Sunday afternoon. I am staying with the BFF's, and Munchkin is staying with her brother. I have a breakfast date with Tinkerbelle on Saturday, as well, which I am most definitely looking forward to:-).

And that is about it, I guess...at least until our French visitors show up the following weekend...

Bridal showers

Is there anything worse than bridal showers? I don't know anyone under the age of 50 who enjoys them at all. They are invariably scheduled at the most inconvenient times (Saturday afternoons in the spring and summer) and they are, in a word, BORING. Who, throughout the course of history, decided that it would be a really good time to watch someone open presents?

And, of all of the asinine "traditions" of a wedding, would you like to know what could easily be the asinine-est? How about making a fake bouquet out of ribbons from presents to use during the rehearsal. Are we kidding? What one earth does that accomplish, and how did it become a normal practice? First of all, you can probably get through the rehearsal without a stand-in for the bouquet. And second of all, that stuff is trash...throw it out, already! Or, save the environment and do without the ribbons in the first place.

Anyway, bridal showers suck. So, you can see my conundrum when my aunts in Chicago insisted on having one for me. I don't want to be a totally negative party pooper, and it seems really ungrateful to put off people that want to have a party for me. Just because I don't like bridal showers doesn't mean that I have to be the bitch who won't let others do something that they want to on my behalf.

So, I think I have reached a happy medium. First, I don't think it is unfair to ask that my mother's sisters and my father's sisters coordinate so that there is only one. There won't be that many people even if they are all together. They don't really know each other (and therefore don't hate each other yet;-)), so it will also be a nice chance for them to meet.

Second, absolutely no presents. Beyond not being registered, the present opening is my least favorite part of a shower, and is honestly something that I have always found kind of tacky. If there are any presents, I am leaving!!!

So, basically, I would like to have a ladies cocktail hour. If I had my druthers, I would like them all to get fancied up and meet at a snooty downtown bar for drastically overpriced drinks. That is something that my aunts would never do on their own, and I think it would be fun. Provided, of course, that the bar has room for two children:-)

Maybe the invitation should read "In lieu of gifts, the bride has requested that you buy yourself at least one $14 martini".

I am most interested to see who exactly shows up. As I have documented, there are some members of my mother's family that I am not on real good terms with. There are a couple that I don't really speak with, and there is at least one that I wouldn't be around for any reason. So, I imagine that they would stay away, but you never know. Same for my step-family...there are a few that I would love to have there, some that I wouldn't care either way, and one or two that I would be really surprised if they came.

Anyway, am I being a total bitch by nixing a bridal shower?

Forever Plans

First of all, an update on yesterday's post...of the two things I really wanted to comment on, one blogger absolutely knew that his/her blog was one of them! It was about a post that had been written recently but quickly removed...basically because the author thought the same things about it that I did. And since we are all entitled to take things back now and again, I find it totally unnecessary to beat up on someone for saying something that he/she wishes had remained internal:-)

And thank you for the many kind wishes on school. I am proud of myself:-)

OK...announcement #3 in my week of announcements, and kind of a tricky one to make because I can't give you the whole story.

The Boy and I have postponed our wedding. It was supposed to be July 25th, but that is no longer going to work out like we want it to. The new date is TBD, but likely 6-8 weeks later (Maybe September 12?).

I have been asked not to broadcast the reason, although I have told several of you privately. It is not "relationship-related" at all...in fact there was a brief discussion a while back to skip a wedding entirely and have a very small ceremony around here with just family. Basically, there is something going on, and neither of us wants to have a wedding while it is going on. If, as the Summer progresses, it is still going on and looks to continue through the Fall, then we will likely scrap the whole idea and just get married without a big wedding.

Anyway, the moving of the wedding is far from a tragedy. I am looking forward to getting all the people that matter to me together to celebrate, and I think I will have a great time, but there are some things that are more important than a party. Neither of us would really enjoy the day as much if we went ahead with it now...so we will postpone and see what happens.

I hope the caterer doesn't get mad:-)

Is 27 Dresses attainable?

I got word yesterday that my taxes are done, and I am getting a nice refund. Whoo hoo! Surprisingly, this is actually kinda new for me...in years past I got much smaller (or no) refunds. We changed the way that I file this year, but I will spare you the details (unless you really, really care.)

So...kind of an open question to all of you...how many weddings have you been in? As a bridesmaid or groomsman or flower girl or whatever. And more importantly, what seems like a reasonable, normal number? I have been in four, and I feel like there are another 5-6 that I will likely be in at some point.

But I am seriously worried that Munchkin is going to set some kind of a record for this...

She was a flower girl in my cousins wedding. And a bridesmaid in her brother's, Smoking Hot Roommate's and Big Sis'. She is my maid of honor. And now her favorite teacher (and soccer and basketball coach and all-around buddy) has asked her if she would be in her wedding this summer. Not really as a bridesmaid, but she wants her to do a reading and to be part of the wedding party.

That would get her to six weddings...at age 14!!! She will definitely be in BFFg's wedding whenever she gets married, and at least a few more cousins...which could possibly get her to like 10 before she gets to college! I am not ruling out the possibility that she breaks the number set by Katherine Heigl (just about my least favorite actress, btw) in that asinine move last year.

This is ridiculous, right? I mean...I feel like most people are probably in like 4-6 weddings over the course of their life, right? Am I way off on this?

In lieu

Thanks to everyone for the insightful feedback on registering yesterday. I should correct one thing...a whole bunch of you seemed to find this to be a selfless and somewhat classy act. Before I accept your kudos, I have to admit that I would register at the Bank if it wasn't incredibly tacky...lol. So, yes, maybe your opinion of me has changed...but I can not lie by omission for the purposes of making you love me...:-D

Many of you hit on my biggest concern...which is that a lot of people will give us gifts anyways, because they want to, and not because they feel obligated. And while I would rather them have some guidance, I feel like registering tells everyone else that you are not really serious about not wanting gifts. The phrase "No gifts please" combined with "The bride and groom are registered at Crate and Barrel" seems to be sort of disingenuous and tacky.

I think at the moment we are leaning towards including a brief note with the invitation that very, very clearly spells out our sincere wish that people not buy us gifts. I actually think that picking charities helps in that sense...because it essentially is registering in the sense that it is telling people what you want for your wedding.

In addition, there are some things that we could do that would so obviously mean a lot to us that I think it would help people get used to the idea that this is what we really want. Something has come up with The Boy that makes a particular cause really relevant, and I love Hall's Kitchen's idea of finding one or more organizations that help young children who have lost one or more parents (and may not have mega-awesome big sisters and super cool pretend families!). I think if we asked that people donate to those places, they would understand how important it was to us, and realize that we really do mean it!

That is where we are at the moment...I think we are set on not registering at any stores, but are still up in the air on what to tell people and how. More on this a it develops...

Tomorrow...more things that I owe you updates on...school!!!