Beginnings

The move is over and done with (the unpacking? not so much) and went pretty smoothly. The movers were on time, very professional and very fast, so it all got done pretty easily. I had dinner with SHR and The Rocket Scientist, and then I came back to start unpacking. I went out for a bit to meet someone for a drink, but now am back at home. Tonight, my first night in the new/old place, I am alone, and that leads to entirely too much thinking.

There are times that I really enjoy solitude, but for the most part, I don't do well with being alone. This is something my therapist has noted more than once. Munchkin is still away, The Boy is at his parents house tonight, and I declined Smoking Hot Roommate's invitation to sleep at the old place...this is her first night of living with The Rocket Scientist, and I don't want to intrude. She knows of my inability to be alone, though, and was just looking out for me.

Basically, I am a big fucking baby. I am 25 years old and I am scared of being alone by myself at night. I guess I wish The Boy decided to stay with me instead of going to his parents, but I also could have actually told him that. I try to avoid saying things and not meaning them and hoping that he gets the hidden message...but I was sort of lying when I told him he should go.

So, I dunno. I feel surprisingly at home. This place fits really well, and I know it is gonna be a great home. The feeling reminds me of a really old, heavy men's Abercrombie wool sweater that I stole from a friend after he let me borrow it a couple years back...it makes me feel better just to put it on. I am excited to think that I could live here for 5 years. Or 10. Or 15. I can see myself being here for a very long time, and have discussed that with the two other people who might get a vote;-)

I am also scared. Not just of being by myself, but of being more of a grown-up. While I have paid rent while I lived with SHR, the truth is that she was always the adult and I was never really a grown-up. She paid all the bills, took care of all of the things that needed to be fixed, bought all the furniture and really did all the responsible things. The rent that I paid is nowhere near a "market" rent. I have never had my name on a utility bill before (unless you count a cell phone or car insurance.)

It probably sounds kinda stupid...I felt responsible enough to take custody of a child, but not enough to call the fucking cable company. But I have never had to make sure that all of the little household details were taken care of, and it just seems like there are a lot of them to keep track of. I have done plenty of budgeting, so I don't anticipate any problems in paying for it (and no, I am still not paying anything close to a real rent)...it's just all of the details. Like...I don't know where the furnace is, what to do if the heat stops working, or who to call...

Yes, I am aware that all 100 million households in America have somehow solved this mystery...

On the plus side, I do get the master bedroom! That means a big king bed and a kick-ass bathroom with a giant tub. When we lived here before, Munchkin and I shared a bathroom, but we will each have our own now. Speaking of the little one, I talked to her tonight, and she is ready to come home. I think there has been some sixth-grade drama and she is ready to be home and back into her routine.

She has had a wonderful time, and I remain extremely grateful that she is able to do these things. She is really a great kid, and a remarkable person, and she deserves to do all of the cool things that she gets to.

I guess I just wish she was here so that I could make her sleep in my giant king bed tonight.


Next Morning Update: Guess who showed up with coffee and bagels (and to return my car:-P) at 8:30 this morning to spend the first morning in the new place with me? He is very much the sweetheart:-)

Three things

I am late in posting today...busy morning (I was out of the office...it was FREEZING out...and supposed to be 60 on Tuesday...WTF?). But I have three topics.

1) Politics - Brandy wrote a good politics post this morning. I am sort of a junkie, so I could watch this stuff all the time. Interesting results from Iowa...really good for Huckabee and Obama, bad for Romney and Clinton. I think it is actually worse for her...Romney got beaten by a single (but large) voting block that is not existent in every state. Clinton got beaten in virtually every segment. She has way too much money to be 'done', but this has to be disconcerting, and she better win in NH or she is in real serious trouble.

The speeches were all over the place. Edwards was way too dark...too much of a downer. Clinton was awful...like she had no idea what to say because she couldn't imagine finishing third. Obama was outstanding. I don't really like Huckabee, but I thought he was outstanding, too.

2) Extras - Who ever watched this show? I know some of you did. Well, I finally saw the last episode last night, and it was really, really heavy. It was actually quite depressing for the most part. A bit of light at the end, but the whole show was a little out of character with the rest of the series. But very good.

3) Moving - The movers come at 10:00 AM tomorrow to take all of Munchkin's and my stuff to the new (old) place, and to move all of The Rocket Scientist's stuff back to the old (new) one. I think I am more sad than happy about it today...it's a big change. Lots of things I would like to say but either can't articulate or don't want to divulge. Very emotional.

Tonight is my last night living with Smoking Hot Roommate, so we have a date. The Boys are elsewhere, so we are gonna stay in, finish packing, drink too much and reminisce. I imagine we will spend a lot of time looking at old pictures...what a sap fest this is gonna be!

I don't know if I will have time to write this weekend or not...tomorrow will be hectic, and Munchkin comes home Sunday afternoon. If I don't, I hope everyone has a great weekend!

Let's talk Runway!

Project Runway remains my favorite show, and I was very excited last night to have it back after its inexplicable three week absence. Heidi is still hot, though...you don't need to worry about that.

Short side-bar...ask around, and you will be amazed at how many straight guys love this show. They will admit it if you prod them a bit, although none can explain exactly why. I think maybe it is the combination of incredibly entertaining gay men, lots of models in various states of disrobe, and the whole idea of building and making stuff. Guys like hammers and nails, and maybe fabric and stitching as well. Anyway...

I feel like this season has the strongest set of designers yet. Definitely the deepest talent pool. There seem to be about five people...Kevin, Rami, Kit, Christian and Jillian...have been consistently pretty good from day one. There was one challenge that Christian was in the bottom three, but basically those five have been consistently near the top and nowhere near the bottom. Everything they have made has been pretty interesting, and more importantly, very well made.

Both Christian and Jillian have a clear style and a definite sense of what they like to do (the "point of view" that the judges harp on) but I am not sure I love their clothes. His are a little too trendy and hers a little too...I dunno..."girly-playful"? At least from the limited sample we have seen so far.

I think Rami is my favorite...I feel like I have liked everything he has done, and his candy-wrapper dress last night was awesome (although I loved Jillian's Twizzler-Flapper-Corset thing). Ella reports that he designed the uniforms for the wait staff in a restaurant near her and they are really good...just thought I would throw that out.

I also like Kevin a lot, but I am not sure he is as creative as the others. Or maybe less daring? I dunno...I would have said the same about Chloe in Season 2, but it turned out that she just had a more subtle form of innovation (like really clever seam placement). Maybe he is the same way. I think he makes great clothes, though, and I wouldn't be shocked if he won or came close to winning. Also, not sure if you have heard him mention this (like three times every episode!!!)...but he is straight... You heard it here first, I always sense some sexual tension between him and Jillian. I think they are gonna hook up.

I love Sweet P, but she is a little over her head. Ricky is a disaster...last night was the first episode he didn't cry in, and lo and behold, in the "scenes from next week", he is crying again. Victorya seemed better in the beginning but has been sort of uninspiring for a while now. Chris already got kicked out once (although I thought his top last night was brilliant...he managed to take slices of Twizzler and Hershey Bar wrappers and make a really cool pattern. At first glance you would never notice the lettering, but it was also unmistakable).

Another observation...I think the men on the show are getting gayer. Michael Kors seems a little bit gayer this year, and Zac Posen was back as a guest judge and seemed even gayer than last year (although if I recall, he wore like and ascot scarf last year, which is pretty gay). And Tim Gunn is...well...he is just himself in all of his splendor.

So, who else has some thoughts? I know some of you watch, and I imagine some others do, too. And guys...watching a show about gay men making women's clothes does NOT actually make you gay, although I can see where you would be worried. You will be surprised at how many of your friends watch, too!

Don't say I didn't warn you: this post has no content

I have very little to write about today. I talked to a whole lot of people yesterday to say Happy New Year, including Munchkin, Tinkerbelle, The Body, The Mouth, both BFF's and some other people that don't have cool blog nicknames. The Boy, Smoking Hot Roommate, The Rocket Scientist and I spent the afternoon in a bar eating junk food and drinking beer and watching football, which was kinda fun:-) Big Sis and the Brain Surgeon joined us for a while, too. She ordered iced tea...hmm...for a vodka drinker, that seems a little suspicious;-P

Munchkin tells me that her friend's really hot older brother (by a year and a half) wanted to kiss her on New Year's but she avoided it because it would have caused some trouble. My thought..."Boy, it is amazing what good decisions you can make when you don't drink". My next thought was that she obviously has more self control than her older sister...lol.

I am pretty much ready to move, I guess. I have packed all of Munchkin's stuff, and a lot of mine. As moves go, this one will be really easy...no furniture, dishes, food, towels or anything like that. Most of that stuff is the same as the stuff that was there when we lived there last year. Maybe I will buy some new sheets and towels, but that is about it. I really just have to move clothes and other personal stuff...plus Munchkin's desk (and the movers are taking care of the actual moving.)

All the stuff is getting moved Saturday, and then I can start unpacking. Munchkin gets home Sunday, so that will be our first night together in the new/old place. Exciting! And then next weekend, Chicago for her brother's wedding...but we can deal with that next week.

'08

Happy New Year to all! This is my second New Year as a blogger, and hence my second life-assessing New Year's post. This is the time of year when everyone seems to do some goal-setting and such, and bloggers being a little more self-absorbed and analytical than the average person, there is no shortage of it around.

I am, of course, no exception to the self-absorption rule:-P I actually went back and read last year's New Year's post to see what was the same and what had changed. Surprisingly, much is the same...right down to The Boy asleep and recovering from an entire day of me putting his most sensitive parts through a really strenuous workout (yea, me too...I am pretty sore:-D). Smoking Hot Roommate and I sat down for a quiet breakfast while the boys slept to celebrate our last New Year's as roomies...OK that made me sad.

So...what was this year all about? In some senses, not a ton. I have the same job, same boyfriend, same friends, same life, etc. I didn't find any new siblings this year like I did last year;-) Munchkin continues to amaze me almost daily. The Boy gets cuter and makes me more and more googly all the time. SHR and her family continue to display a level of generosity towards Munchkin and me that is beyond my ability to adequately describe.

Of course, a lot did happen this year. I did some traveling...Chicago a bunch of times, Mexico, Las Vegas, London, Newport, New York City, New Hampshire and Vermont that I can think of off the top of my head. My Father died and I still don't know that I care that much. I learned to play golf, badly. I saw my much adored Big Sis get married. My Father's entire family (whom I do care about) came to visit me. I became a Nascar fan...kind of. Harry Potter wrapped up:-). The Boy and I took a little break, which in hindsight was for the better, but was no fun at the time. His closest friend and most beloved sister had a baby.

I also had a bit of a health scare in July. Nothing a little bit of surgery couldn't solve...but it led to some deep thinking. Some of which I never really resolved (like..."What should happen to Munchkin is something happened to me"? I know what should, but I don't like that idea much.) But like most things, I think I am better having gone through it.

Munchkin has really grown up a ton this year. When she moved out here, she was definitely 100% little girl and needed me a lot more than she does now. She is not a little girl anymore, she is very much a young woman. I write about some of her growing-up issues (like the boys that all fall completely head over heels for her) but I also leave out some of the other stuff. But this was a big year for her...emotionally, physically, socially and every other way you can imagine. She has boobs, for Chrissakes! How am I gonna deal with this?!?!? She needs me less now, but she still needs me, and she still likes having me around. And that's good, because I love being around her.

And she hasn't outgrown chicken fingers or her love of ordering 7up and Cranberry juice in fancy glasses:-)

I am only going to make one resolution...I would like to see Tinkerbelle once a month. I will probably fall short of that, but if I get close, that will be a whole lot better than this year.

There will be some changes this year...starting with moving this weekend. I think that The Boy and I will move to a little different relationship stage soon. And then he will probably move in with us later this year. Munchkin becomes a teenager (yikes). Smoking Hot Roommate is getting married. Big Sis is likely to make the jump and come to work with us. Papa Bear may start to move towards retiring.

Truth be told, I have been on kind of a roll. This is like seven years in a row for me that were better than the one before. My New Year's wish is that the streak continues.