Randoms

So...suddenly it is mid-May? Can someone explain to me when that happened, and how it happened without my noticing? Munchkin finishes school next week...NEXT WEEK!!! She is headed to Paris for a little over a week, and then settling in full-time at the beach. In what we now regularly refer to as "her" beach house, since she is the person who spends the most time there...

Memorial Day will likely be our first trip to the beach, which I am looking forward to greatly. As I have mentioned about 1,000 times previously, that is my most favorite place in the whole world, and I love ever single minute I get to spend there. I really start to look forward to going there just after the New Year, and run kind of a mental countdown pretty shortly thereafter. T minus 9 days:-)

I think I spoke a little bit too soon on the baby girls potty training...no further developments on that front. It has been a pretty hectic couple of weeks, and the girls have been out of their routine a lot, which probably doesn't help...hopefully things will settle down and we can get back to that. They are, however, doing a little better with the sleeping again, which is nice.

Mother's Day was wonderfully low key:-) We went to The Boy's parents' house to see his Mom and had dinner with them and his sister and her family. Nothing special, but it was really, really nice. I got adorable homemade cards from the girls (well, really from their teachers at school, since I don't think the girls did their own spelling and card construction:-)). Munchkin wrote me a card that made me cry like she does every year...little secret, I have all of them saved from the last seven years, and I read them periodically. And they ALWAYS make me cry:-)

I am sorry to have no take on this spring's trashy TV. I haven't watched any Dancing With the Stars or American Idol or The Voice or anything else that I usually write about. I am a week behind on Game of Thrones, which I am hopelessly hooked on...and I don't even know if there are seasons of Top Chef or Runway on any time soon. I seriously have to get some more time for terrible television...

Marriage

So, big brouhaha today because the President came out and said that he "supports" same-sex marriage, which is at least better than the Vice President saying he "is comfortable" with it.

A part of me understands why it is a big news story (and comes on the heels of the state of North Carolina passing a ballot initiative re-stating the current illegality of same-sex marriage there), but most of me just wants to shrug my shoulders and say "Huh"? Kudos to him for going out on a bit of a limb, although he gets points off for trying to pretend that he didn't always think this and has just been too chicken-shit to say it.

Really, what he does and doesn't support might be newsworthy, but it doesn't actually matter legislatively. What he is willing to do matters greatly, and he is yet to announce any plans to try and do anything. It is really unlikely that he will, either, which is disappointing.

He can't (and he shouldn't) do much about States making their own rules about who can and can't get married. I don't really wanna live in a State that bans gay marriage, but for a variety of reasons, it is important that States have the right to make that restriction. But he absolutely can move that the Federal Government recognize any valid marriage that is executed legally. Whether or not he "supports" gay marriage, it offends me that he is unwilling to support the right of certain States (Massachusetts being the first, but also Iowa, Maryland, California, Connecticut and some others) to make their own contractual law.

Let's take my Sister-in-law as an example. She and her wife are married. They are not in a civil union, they did not have a commitment ceremony...they got married in exactly the same legal way that The Boy and I are. Under a legally valid, recognized, enforceable contract.

Yet, when they file their Income Taxes, they are not allowed to file as Married. Should one of them ever receive Social Security, the other can not be treated as a spouse under survivorship rules. The Federal Government has denied the Constitutionally designated right of the State of Massachusetts to enforce marriage contracts. Yes, bad news to the talking heads on the right...all of those "States rights" arguments that you like to use (and which are often valid)? Well they should apply here, too.

It is also totally up in the air as to whether other States have to recognize marriages that are legally created in Massachusetts or in other States. If there are other examples of States being able to choose which of other States contracts are valid, I am unaware of them...one of our basic rules of law is that valid and legal contracts signed in one State are enforceable in all of the others. Just, apparently, not these ones.

You want a parallel? Well, I am glad you asked, because I have one!!! In 19 States, it is legal to marry your first cousin. In 6, it is sometimes legal (if at least one of you can't reproduce...say what?!?). And in 25, it is illegal. Why is it illegal? Because we think it is icky, that's why!!!

But two cousins who get married in, say, Colorado, will be treated as married if they move to Iowa, despite cousin-marriage being illegal there. And the Federal Government has no problem allowing those people to be treated as married, regardless of where they live. Because that is how legal reciprocity works in this country. Or at least, that is how it is supposed to work.

So, in conclusion, good for the President for at least saying something. But let's not pretend that what he did actually matters...there are very real, tangible laws that he could propose and champion that will matter, and he has yet to choose to do that.

Where have I been?

The title of this post implies that I have been somewhere...which is kind of a lie. I have been super busy, but not with anything remotely exciting enough to detail at length.

Work has been a zoo, which is obviously both good and bad. Good because it is interesting, bad because I like doing nothing more than doing something:-). Our house hunting seems to have ground to a halt, too...we never really did make much progress, and I think we have decided to stay put for another couple of years until we are looking in a different price range. Hopefully our needs and tastes won't grow faster than our bank account!

Munchkin has two weeks of school left, and then she is moving to the beach again (after a trip to Paris, of course.) She wanted to spend a week in Paris instead of Nice, so she is going at the very beginning of the summer before his family moves, and I can barely believe that I just had occasion to write that sentence:-) And then she is...gasp...a SENIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL! At some point this summer we are going to go on a little bit of a college road trip. I know she has pretty much already decided where she is going to school, but I want her to go and visit a couple more schools just to be sure. I will feel better about the whole thing if she has at least visited and taken the tour. Plus, it will be a fun trip:-)

The girls are on the verge of a major developmental breakthrough...LK used the potty, and I think they have both figured out how the whole thing works! MA used it once a couple of weeks ago, but I think that was sort of an accident...she happened to be sitting on it and peed, I don't think that she really connected the two ideas. Call it the first step in the long road to potty training...

Now, if I can just get them to stay in their beds all night long...

Evolution

I am going to be 30 in just about three months, which is a pretty obvious time for some assessment and self-analysis. I am not even going to touch the question of "Am I where I thought I would be when I was 20?" because there is absolutely no way to reconcile my current life with my expectations from July of 2002.

But I am going to talk about some changes that I have noticed, and as the big day approaches this summer, I will probably do the same on at least a few more occasions. Today, I wanna talk about gray...as in "shades of" (and not the middle-aged woman porn that means these days;-)).

At 20, things seem black and white. Honestly, by 23 or 24, they seem even clearer...the world seems to make sense, or at least your ideas seem to make sense. At that age, we have pretty strongly formulated opinions about work, life, politics, friends, etc. A less kind assessment would be that we are know-it-alls;-)

I think I am starting to appreciate better what I don't know...and I am becoming more open to the idea that people can hold opposite opinions from me and not be totally crazy. At 30, I think I am realizing that things are a lot more gray than I ever thought. I find myself getting less and less off-the-bat outraged over things because I am better at looking for other sides to issues.

Take this election season, for example. It seems like every week has been marked by a "War on (fill in the blank)". I especially like how there has been a war on the rich, the middle class AND the poor...that is the kind of equality war-mongering that I can really get behind. There have also been wars on women and students and conservative women and the environment and business. Oh, and definitely dogs. (But surprisingly little talk about an actual war...you know, in Afghanistan? Remember that one?)

And really, the overly-dramatized outrage doesn't serve any purpose other than to desensitize us all to really serious issues. With some limited exceptions (I am looking at you, proponents of mandatory vaginal ultrasounds), my basic reaction is that people just need to chill the fuck out a little bit. Every time someone proposes a new law, it is not THE WORST THING EVER!!! We should be able to disagree without flying off the handle.

Part of it is having kids, which should come as a surprise to no one. But that has changed my ideas not just about children and raising them, and not just about obvious things like parental interaction with children. I guess you just view the world a little bit differently when you feel like you are responsible for it to your kids. And I think you realize that a lot of opinions you previously held are more selfish than you ever thought they were. That probably seems a little bit preachy...

Part of it comes from seeing more academically and professionally, too. I think I view activism, for example, a whole lot differently because I have been around so many people who "get stuff done". No one ever built a monument by sitting around and bitching about it, I guess. And it's helped me to identify those things that really are important, and those things that may be irritating but which really don't matter.

Not everything is the end of the world. Not everything you miss out on is really the best opportunity you will ever get. Not everyone who disagrees with you is an idiot. Nor are they evil. Not everything is cut and dried, black and white.

They world is much more gray than that.

Futbol

Many times before, I have written about Munchkin's obsession with various sports, her sharing of this obsession with Smoking Hot Roommate, and their specific love of The Chelsea Football Club. I have also mentioned that, on occasion, there are really big games on weekday afternoons, and that they sometimes skip out of work/school to watch them. Yesterday was one of those days...

The difference is that this time, at the encouraging of So Midwestern, I decided to join them. Who doesn't love hanging out in sports bars in the afternoon? Coming off of a really productive morning, it seemed like a nice way to spend the afternoon. Little did I know that I was in for The Greatest Game Ever.

Unfortunately, someone else will have to explain why, because I don't really know:-)

Here were my thoughts:

1) There sure were a lot of people watching the game, given that it started at 2:30 on a Tuesday.
2) Very few of those people appeared to be American-born.
3) Even fewer were girls. No wonder that the troublesome twosome is so popular:-)
4) Everyone seems to own a scarf of the team they like best.
5) The rules are incredibly complex! Barcelona was winning 2-0 (also? The cool kids just call them "Barsa"). Then Chelsea scored a goal, which I thought meant that they were losing 2-1.

But no, it actually meant that they were tied. Turns out they had already played one game, and you figure out the winner by putting the scores together. Since Chelsea won that game 1-0, they were now tied 2-2.

Only they weren't because Chelsea's goals counted more, so in fact they were winning 2-2. My first guess had to do with the Pound/Euro exchange rate, but I guess that wasn't the reason...

Confused? Well, you can easily get past the confusion by drinking too much and singing...that seemed to work for everyone in attendance.

After some more seemingly gripping action (my view? nothing happened for a very long time) Chelsea scored a goal at the very end to tie the game 2-2 and win the overall game 3-2. Half of the crowd erupted into spontaneous hugging and shouting, while half fell into a very subdued (and largely Spanish-spoken) despair. I was just glad to see that my impressionable and under-aged sister stayed quietly by the side and out of the ruckus:-)

So, that was my afternoon as a soccer fan. Honestly, it was really fun...you should all try it the next time there is The Biggest Game Ever!!!