More on the Love birds

I love you guys:-) Really, really, I do...I still get excited every time I log in and see that there is a new comment to read. Because I am a dork like that!

But mostly, I love you guys because you are all totally different and have different perspectives on things and think about things differently than I do. So, sometimes, things that seem so obvious to me are, in fact, not at all obvious to you guys...(in fact, I wish that people would call bullshit more often, because I know there are times you disagree with some of my nonsense and keep quiet about it!)

We seem to have found one of those instances: on Wednesday (yikes, blog much?) I mentioned that I don't love the idea of Frenchie coming to school in Boston (or Cambridge) in a year. Honestly, that seemed sort of self-explanatory to me, but I guess it really isn't. And when I think about it...I have a hard time really explaining what bothers be about it, which is maybe a sign that I should rethink it.

First off, responses to some of your specific comments: Munchkin already knows exactly where she is going to college, regardless of whether it is in one year or two. It is the only place she has wanted to go since she really found out what college is...and she may or may not have also been the recipient of a lot of lobbying from a pretend sister and a pretend father/grandfather that are proud alums. It also may or may not be a school that The Boy and/or I attended during our undergraduate or graduate educations. But it is very local, which I am happy about. And frankly, she has NO interest in going far away from me, which could well be a lingering psychological effect from having so much upheaval during the earlier years of her life.

So I know where she will be, and both she and Frenchie know where she will be. The variable is, therefore, where he chooses to go...and I am fairly certain that he will come to college somewhere in the States, although the final location remains to be determined (he is also an excellent student, so he will presumably have his pick of schools as well.)

As a basic rule, anything that makes my sister happy makes me happy. And she would be very excited if he took up residence a mile or two away...or, possibly even closer if he ended up at the same exact school. So why then, does the idea bother me?

So here goes. I guess what I don't like is the idea that he is coming all the way for the specific reason of being near her. As weird as their relationship is, that brings with it a whole lever of pressure that I would rather she not be under. What happens if, after a month of seeing each other four days a week, she wants to break up with him? Is she going to be buried with guilt over him making such a huge life decision for her?

I think about what would happen if the roles were reversed...what if she decided to go to Paris. It is a little different because she would be doing that only to be near him, and he may well have come to the States anyway. But still...I don't like the idea of 18 year old kids making those huge decisions to chase a relationship that, statistically, has little chance of lasting.

I would also rather not deal with a sudden overdosing on each other...if she is a senior in High School still, I don't want her spending every waking hour across the river where he has his own room that comes with a lock and key.

I will acknowledge that this last one is a totally irrational fear: she is going to be in college really soon, at which point she will be able to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. And there is no way on earth that she will do even half of the the stuff that I did;-) But she is my little baby still, and I reserve the right to be irrational.

Were I to pick an actual outcome, I would love for him to end up in New York or DC...close enough that she could see him much more often, but not so close that she is his primary reason for being there. I would feel like he is making a much more balanced decision if he chose a school a little further away (which is stupid of me...what if his ideal school just happens to be in Cambridge? For lots of people it is.) Fortunately for me, I think his parents feel the same way...I think they would be hesitant to sign off on him coming to Boston. So, this may turn out how I want it too regardless of my input:-)

And, as long as I am making wishes...if his little sister came to school in Boston? I would do a happy dance:-)