The auto industry bailout will have to wait...because I have an interesting little ditty for you...
First, Munchkin went home early and took a nap, so by the time The Boy and I got home from work, she was feeling better and was up for chicken fingers. Yay!!! Just the three of us, and it was as good as ever:-)
We got home, and after she did some homework, we were watching TV and a preview for Celebrity Rehab came on (still love that show) where Steven Adler was fighting with his mother about what a terrible mother she was, blah blah blah. And The Boy and I had a brief conversation about how all of these people like to blame their drug problems on their mothers. And how a couple of them actually share drug problems with their mothers.
To which Munchkin said, "That's not always true, though. Mom was an alcoholic when you were young, and you don't have any problems."
What?!?!?
Until then, I was unaware that she knew anything about our Mother's alcohol history before she was born. As I have written a couple times, she and I had very different relationships with our Mother, and view her very differently because of it. At least I thought that we did. Now I am not so sure...
I probably should have asked her about it further, but it caught me so off guard that I just sort of said "Yea, that's true", and we moved on. But now I want to know how she knows about this. Did our Mother tell her? Someone else in the family? Outside of the family? And I wanna know how she feels about this, or if she even thinks about it at all. And why has it never come up before? She knows that our Mother and I didn't get along real well...she was old enough to realize that I was banned from the house for almost two years. And she saw us fight on a bunch of occasions. Did she always know that things were rockier before she was around? Did she always know why? Or did she find out recently?
So, once again, I seem to have underestimated her perceptiveness. And, I also seem to have an awful lot of questions, but I am not sure if I should bring it up again or if I should wait and let her bring it up. Seeing as we are gonna be on a plane together this evening for a couple hours, it seems like maybe a good chance to do it...
Thoughts?
Friday, November 21, 2008
Oh, the things kids say...
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12 comments:
I think a plane ride together just might be the perfect time to ask Munchkin about this. She's a smart cookie, as you well know! And from what you say about her in your posts, I think she'd be really honest with you about it. This could possibly be a great thing for your relationship. Good luck!
I wonder... she may have brought it up because she does want to talk more about it. Maybe that could be how you broach it -- "do you want to talk more about our Mother's problem..." and see what she says. Just a thought.
Good luck, and have a fabulous trip.
Cornering kids in places where they can't escape. I think that's a GREAT way to talk about it. Kinda like when my mom cornered me in the car (on the highway, no less) to talk about the birds and the bees. Hahaha. I kid.
The way I see is Munchkin has opened the door. She's shown she knows more than you thought she did and expressed a willingness to talk about it. Why not approach the topic again. It'll be pretty obvious if she doesn't want to talk about it ... and so you drop it and figure out a better way/time to go about it.
Hmm...interesting thoughts! I have no idea, but I do think that you should maybe casually bring it up. Maybe not directly ask, but in passing when something similar comes up again, you should bring it up and see what she knows. What exactly someone has said to her or she has figured out...Keep us posted.
Yeah I would talk to her about it. She seems like such a well-adjusted cool kid; I see no harm in talking about it.
Kids always surprise me with how unbelievably perceptive they are. I'd definitely talk it over with her a bit.
I agree with what everyone else has said: she seems like a mature girl and I think she'd be happy to talk about it :)
The door is open...it is the perfect time to discuss. Put the cards on the table so she can ask whatever questions she has.
Talk to her. It's that plain and simple. She brought it up, and it is very possible she has always known. Kids pick up on everything around them, even if they never say anything about. She was comfortable enough to bring up the subject. I bet she has a lot of questions for you.
I feel like if she brought it up, she probably wants to discuss it. Maybe just get it out there in the open. She knows something went on, and she's probably curious. I hope you have a chance to really talk to her about it. She will certainly appreciate it.
Eek, I tried to send a comment, I don't know if it went through. It either went through like three times, or not at all. Hopefully just once though.
Kids are incredibly perceptive and if she knew enough to bring it up at a time like that I would think she also has some questions and other feelings she is not mentioning. I would ask her about it another time and see what she has to say...
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