Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Love can be a cruel bitch

LPEG asked after my last post about my dinner with Munchkin...and I have been meaning to post about that. Truth be told, I just don't know how to solve this or even to make it better...any ideas would be greatly appreciated:-)

She hasn't broken down any more lately, and seems to have stepped back from any other romantic interests. She is also back to thoroughly enjoying her summer...working a ton, making gobs of money, hanging on the beach with her friends and playing with her nieces. Still, there is a very subtle and permanent sadness about her: she just really misses Frenchie, and I think that the reality of their situation has settled in more than it maybe had previously.

He is going to come and stay for a week at the end of the summer, which she is obviously greatly looking forward to...but that doesn't really address the over-arching issues. They are still completely bonkers over each other, and they still live an awfully long ways apart. What's more...there is not even a remote prospect of that changing. I feel like they are at the point that a couple of week long visits over the course of a year is just not enough. At the same time, they just plain like each other too much to write the whole thing off as a bad turn of fate.

So, you see, it has turned into something of a pickle...and this big sister just doesn't have an easy answer for her:-(


A said...

Awwww. I feel so sorry for her. Tough situation for a big sister to be in. It's so hard not being able to fix the problem!

Kari said...

Is there anyway she could say in a year or so go to school for a year in France? A bunch of my friends did grade 11 overseas...just wondering if that would be an option for her??

laurwilk said...

Sister doesn't have an easy answer because there is no easy answer!

Just let her figure it out. And let her make herself happy. Due to her life circumstances, there are likely going to be MANY times when she is very far away from people that she doesn't want to be far away from. And I think it's best if she learns now how to cope with that.

She can miss Frenchie and be bummed. Emotions are always totally acceptable. But actions can (and often should) be modified. So, let her feel sad but don't let her ACT sad. She has way too many FREAKING AWESOME things in life to really act sad.

She's a rockstar and I have a feeling she'll be just fine. Long distance relationships aren't fun (I would know - I think I've spent 6 years of my life in them) but there are certainly some HUGE perks. Maybe you can help her focus on those?

I miss you, AM!

Irene said...

Ok, here are my two cents about it and it is a pretty crazy idea:
enroll her in a high school abroad year/semester in France.

She is 15 now, right? I took part in a school exchange programm when I was 15 and lived in a host family in Vancouver,BC for three months. I am now working as a counsellor for AIFS (American Institute for Foreign Study) and am constantly interviewing and screening candidates (students aged 14-17) for a high school year abroad in the USA. It is a wonderful experience, she will learn the language fluently and even might learn another like German, she will be independent and (even more) grown up when she comes back. I checked the AIFS US page but unfortunately we only offer summer programs in France or programs for studens in their sophomore College Year or for University. But I checked and here is a programm you might like:

Deadlines for a whole year are over but she could apply for a semester starting in January... The Companys Headquarters are in Portland, ME and Orientation before Departure is in Boston so I guess it's perfect for you guys.

Hope I helped a little with that idea...

take care