Thursday, July 14, 2011

The wedding toast approval process begins

OK...this is my current working version of my toast for BFFg's wedding. I am having trouble with the beginning, but I think I like the second half of it. Unless it is entirely too personal, which is possible.

Also, the chances of me getting through it without bawling are absolutely zero:-)

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I tried to find poems or book or songs that I could quote from to help me with this, but nothing really seemed to fit, so I am just going to tell you what I think about [BFFg] and hope that it helps you to understand exactly how special she is.

I've known [BFFg] since we were four, and I can't even imagine how life would have turned out if I didn't have her as a best friend. Both of us were only children then, and almost right away we considered each other the sisters that we wished we had. Certainly there were challenges, but when I look back...all that matters is that she and [BFFb] and I were together. We were a team, and it was the best team that a confused, insecure, slightly-neglected girl could have had.

She (and her Mom) were there when I needed a place to stay, which was entirely too often.

She was there to make me laugh when all I wanted to do was feel sorry for myself.

She was there to get into trouble with me. And then to get out of it and then to laugh about it later on.

We sat next to each other in every class we ever took in high school, when it wasn't important to anyone else that we be there. Except for each other, because we made a promise to each other that it mattered, and we take promises to ourselves seriously.

And maybe most importantly, she was there to be a sister, a friend and a guiding voice to my own sister when I couldn't be.

Frankly, life wasn't always easy, and a lot of the kids that we grew up with became victims of our environment. But we didn't. And we didn't because we were always a team. We were always a "we" and we were always together.

We started high school with nearly 800 students. 250 graduated and maybe 25 went to college. But we were two of them, and that wasn't an accident. I made it because she held me to my promise to do it, and I think she did the same.

But she was always the stronger one. She never cared what others thought as much, and she never got as discouraged as I did. We lost friends, and all I could get from it was anger and resentment...she turned that into a strengthened resolve to make ourselves better than that.

Whatever I am, she made me. Whatever she is, I would like to take just a little bit of credit. And now, here we are, almost all grown up, and we made it.

I can give no higher praise to someone than to tell him that he is worthy of her, but [Husband], I think that you are. You are the only person I ever met that I thought worth setting her up with, and I am glad to know that my instincts were that strong. You are not only is so obviously handsome, but you treat her like a princess, challenge her and he make her even better.

BFFg and I have been a team for as long as I can remember, and we still are. But now she has a new teammate, and I can tell you from 25 years of experience, [Husband], that there is nobody you'd rather have on your side.

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Thoughts?

14 comments:

Brian said...

I read your blog all the time (from Chicago!) and it feels strange to all of a sudden comment on something so personal ... however I've done the speech things 3-4 times the last few years. This is totally constructive so take from it what you want . . .

It's a tad bit long - if you need to shorten it ... you drive home the point you guys are super tight and been through everything. There is probably a chance to shorten this theme up a little bit.

Here's where I feel like a jerk - make it a little less about you and more about her/him *duck*. I know where your heart is on this ...

Kari said...

It is wonderfully perfect!

Accidentally Me said...

Ugh...I was worried about both.

It is most definitely too long. His best man is also giving a toast that will be much more about him, so I am not worried about it being her-centric, but I do worry that it is too much about me and her.

Accidentally Me said...

And seriously...if you have read long enough, you should know that I love when people tell me I am wrong!

Me said...

:) I did one last christmas at a wedding and I would agree. If you read this out loud...it might be too long. :)

Jane226 said...

I got married this summer, and was blown away to hear my friends suddenly share how they felt about me. It melted my heart. Your friend will LOVE your toast.
This current version may be a little too much centered on you instead of her, in the context of a wedding toast. But I definitely think you should give her this as a private letter, everyone should know how they've affected people's lives. Good luck!

Anonymous said...

What Brian said...it's not that it's not about him - it's that it is too much about you.

That being said, I don't know anyone who wouldn't love to hear this. So share it with her!

MrsV said...

Honestly I love it. I would have loved to hear this speech at my wedding. There are different styles of speeches and I personally love the ones (like this) that express the personal story between the speaker and subject. and as long as the groom has someone talking about him I wouldn't worry about him ;)

As for length, if it was any longer I would say it was too long.

Longer speeches are not always bad, they just need to be good. If you do cut it down don't take too much out, don't lose the story. But as someone who has read every single one of your blog posts and has a pretty good idea of the kind of friend you are I think it's perfect and she will love it.

Besides other than her who else really needs to love it :)

Lisa said...

I think it's lovely, though Brian's two points are mine, as well:

I guess you could shorten it a bit and emphasize the "her" part more. You yourself should still be in there, but a slight change of focus might work best.

Hope that was constructive?

Ally said...

I really like how you end the toast...very sweet and a great way to close.

I think Jane's idea is perfect--shorten the toast but give her the full text above in a letter (or if she reads the blog, never mind:)

Brian said...

Forgot to add . . . I suggest at the end .... "Let's get crazy bitches!"

Little Miss Chatter Box said...

not gonna lie it made me cry! makes me wonder what my sis and/or best friends will come up with for my wedding next august!

Lori S-C said...

I think it is beautiful...

A said...

Oh, I love this and it made me just a little weepy. Which isn't hard to to this week, but I'm pretty sure it would make me weepy any week. :)