Friday, April 09, 2010

I still love Canadians, but some Manitobans maybe just a little less

A much less serious topic to keep you interested for the weekend...Kari left this link in my comments the other day, and I demand that you all read it immediately...

She tells me that the idea of a "social" is something of a Manitoba tradition.

Well here is a small snippet of what she said "A social is just a big 'ole party that you sell tickets to to raise money (or sometimes just to cover the cost of the hall rental, etc). Growing up I remember going to socials when someone's farm burned down, when a father of a classmate died, to raise money for the local arena, etc."

Apparently, people sometimes also have them to fund weddings that they feel that they are entitled to but don't want to pay for. Their wedding party is expected to organize the event, drum up donations from local business and sell tickets to raise money for the wedding.

You can probably all kind of guess where I am going with this, but I will leave you a couple of questions to foster the discussion:

1) Is this a tradition that exists elsewhere, or is it just a Central Canadian thing?
2) Is it resourceful or is it tacky?
3) Would it be appropriate to invite someone to your wedding social but not your actual wedding? (Which is apparently not uncommon).
4) How about Mr. Friesen and Ms. Causton, who apparantly have no friends but want the financial benefits of the social.
5) Any other thoughts on them specifically:-P?

And really, anyone who has any other thoughts, just fire 'em up...


Kari said...

Thanks for posting this! It has made my Friday
It is tacky, tacky, tacky. Not at all resourceful!
Oh and for fun go to
How many of the groomsman do you think are "born again heterosexuals!"
My fav comment on the WFP site was "Will there be any room in the closet for their presents?"

Happy Friday,
The Cdn

Anonymous said...

Canadian living in the US here ...

Tacky does not even begin to describe this. If you can't afford the wedding then don't have so many guests or head down to city hall.

When I first saw the article I thought it was going to describe a stag and doe - you rent a hall, get a DJ and lots of drinks, maybe some give-a-ways. This usually happens between the engagement and wedding and it's basically a big party to celebrate before the wedding. People will buy drink tickets, 50/50 tickets and other things and all of this helps pay for the stag and doe. Any money left over is usually given to the couple but it's never more than a couple thousand dollars.

Rachel said...

I'm also a Canadian and I'm recently married. That idea of a "social" is what I call a stag and doe. In my mind it's making money off your friends. Even if it's for your wedding. We didn't have one. I think they are selfish and really really tacky. Some of my friends don't agree. Really if you need to have one to pay for your wedding, that's one thing. I still don't agree. But a lot of these people have parents paying for their weddings. So the money they make off their friends is for them to KEEP. It's a silly cycle. If I spend a ton of money at your stag and doe then you'll spend a ton of money at mine? But if no one had a stag and doe, everyone could keep their own money! Isn't that better?

Megan said...

These types of parties exist in most of Canada when it comes to weddings. They go by many names, but most often are called Stag and Does.

Typically, people raffle off prizes (usually liquor) and then there are a bunch of silly games that cost a dollar or two to play.

I do not think anyone truly expects to make money off of these events. I can't imagine it really bringing in all that much. Tickets are usually cheap and it is usually only people who are in some way connected to the wedding party that go (i.e. friends of the parents, friends from high school that you just can't invite because of logistics, etc.).

Megan said...

Also, I would rather be invited to a stag and doe than an actual wedding. A stag and doe will only cost me the ticket price, and then anything I decide to do/have while at the stag and doe..

A wedding means that I have to put in the effort of finding something nice-ish to wear, buy a wedding present (that will likely be more expensive than the ticket to attend a stag and doe), potentially pay for a hotel room...

And I think it is tacky if your primary goal is to have your wedding paid for by others. If you can't afford the wedding you want, you either postpone it until you can save up enough to pay for it or you make some sacrifices..

Our Happy Married Life... said...

Definitely the most absurd thing I've ever read. I hate to stereotype but the couple, well...I better not go there. :) Having both come off weddings in 2009 can you even imagine doing such a thing?

Kathleen said...

Sorry, I couldn't get past "born-again heterosexual." ;-)

Dawn said...

I'm a Canadian (born and bred in Montreal) living in the US now (Connecticut), and I've NEVER even HEARD of the "social" thing or "stag and doe" as previous commenters called it.

Maybe it wasn't a Montreal thing? Whatever; I'm just happy not to have known of such tackiness.

J2 said...

Okay Kari, I checked out that sight and WOW!

A sponsored wedding? Really?! I think that is taaaacky!

Lisa said...

I'd have to side with the people calling it tacky..
I never ever would have held the ├╝ber-wedding if I can't afford it.
Our wedding reception was at my parent's backyard and the dinner and party that night at my mother-in-law's garden. It felt really good not to have it payed out of any other pockets than ours..

It's not that untypical here in Germany to have sort of an "open reception", where anyone can show up that feels like it. Like, friends of parents, old neighbors etc. Most come with a little cash-gift, but usually just in the 10-30 Euro range. So it's more like a nice little help and not as if the person is only welcome because he brought the money. At our reception, we were only happy for every well-wisher that turned up.

I can't believe people who have sponsors for their weddings. Like a big Cola-banner behind the altar? That just gave me the giggles :D

Anonymous said...

Just FYI. This is not a strictly Canadian thing as I had actually first heard about these coming from friends that live in the US. So...don't generalize so much.

Anonymous said...

I'm from Saskatchewan (new to this blog and still in catch up mode...) and I've never heard of these socials. My extended family is pretty large, and I've been to a LOT of weddings that range from quite cheap to extravegant. However, it is true that there are often cash bars, but drinks are only $1 or $2 and you aren't allowed to profit off the booze. Regardless, the most interesting part of this article was the 'born again hetero-sexual'. Wow.

MrsV said...

I know this is very late for this discussion but I had to comment as a Canadian.

First what that couple was doing was incredibly tacky and I have never ever heard of anyone doing that before.

Second wedding "socials" or "stag and does" whatever name they go by happen to be fairly common from what I've seen. (Ontario) You don't have one expecting it to pay off you wedding, rather you hold it to celebrate more with your friends and family (sometimes friends or friends come too). I don't know anyone whose had an engagement party but I do know a lot of people who have stag and does.

Am I offended to be invited to one because I have to pay a small cover and drinks?
Actually it has always been something most people I know enjoy going too, they are a lot of fun usually. Let's face it if we all went out to a bar it would cost a lot more for possible less fun. Cheap cover, cheap drinks, free food (usually pizza, subs, hot appetizers etc), fun games, and if the hosts were lucky enough then some really awesome prizes. I've won golf clubs, spa visits, clothes, etc.

If the hosts are lucky then they will bring in enough cash to cover their expenses for the night (the hall, booze, food etc is not free), they are even luckier if they make a profit which usually is not much.

Stag and Does have always been about celebrating and having a good time, bonus part of them is that there is the potential to make some money, but don't count on it cause to throw one isn't cheap. And if you do cheap out on yours people are not gonna stick around.

For the record Hubby and I did not have one, but purely for the reason that we live in a city away from our families (who live in separate cities from each other) and we do not have enough contacts here to make back our money it would cost to have one.