Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Being the Boss' Daughter (kind of)

I haven't written anything about work in a while, and there is no real reason for that, other than things have been going pretty well and I haven't had a whole lot to write about. But basically, it is going well...I have been working on some interesting things, and the Partners and VP's keep giving me new stuff to do that I have never done before.

As a firm, we have been doing really well (we have kind of changed business models a little bit, but that is a long story...I will be happy to share if you are really interested, just ask:-)) which means that everyone is busy, and that there are probably some big bonuses in our future:-D We have added two new people over the last year to the Investment staff, and both were really good hires and fit in very well.

There is, however, one issue. There is one guy who just doesn't like me. I am not real sure what his problem is, but he has just always been really condescending and kinda mean to me. I can't say that I have any specific reason to dislike him...he is smart, and works hard...other than his dislike of me.

In the two years that I have been here, he has never asked me to help on any one of his projects (the way it works is that the VPs, principals and partners "request" the associates or me, and we get scheduled with them) and has kind of ignored me if someone else asked me to work on something that he was working on. And then last winter during review time, he wrote a really nasty review of me.

Everyone here reviews everyone else...so, I had to write like 23 performance reviews last December (including Papa Bear and Boss Foxy:-)) and I got 23 written about me. Virtually all of the reviews I got said the same things..."Works hard, always available, great interpersonal skills, needs to continue developing technical skills" and then usually suggested some specific courses or seminars or books or whatever that might help me.

But then I got one review that said all kinds of bad stuff about how I got preferential treatment, and how I didn't pull my weight because I leave at 5:00 every day (I am not the only one...there are three or four other people who have daycare issues that do the same) and how it wasn't clear that I would ever be able to be a functioning member of the team. The reviews are anonymous, but I obviously knew who wrote it, as did the five partners. And all of that is fine, I guess, he is entitled to his opinion.

But, I guess he said something to the executives at a company we are involved with the other day. One of the other people mentioned that he would be out there later this week with me, and the guy in question said something about "She's the boss' daughter, so we have to drag her around, but she doesn't really do much." This really irritates me because it is wildly unprofessional and it makes it very difficult for me to go out there now and do anything useful.

(He is probably going to get into some trouble for that, I will keep you posted)

And for the record, I do get treated differently than everyone else for two very specific reasons. First, I am the only person with my job. There are four associates, for example, and five principals, but I am the only analyst. The title implies that I am a lot more limited than everyone else, and I am paid accordingly (I make about $125,000 less than the associates, who are the next lowest ranking people). Obviously I can't do everything that they can, nor do I claim to.

Second, and this is really what he was getting at...being "the boss' daughter" is probably the most valuable thing I do here. His implication was that I have less responsibility and more leeway because of my relationship to Papa Bear. But in truth, Papa Bear has a bit of a temper, and the biggest value that I bring to the firm is that I am the only person he won't yell at. If something important doesn't go the way he wants and he is in a particularly bad mood, the other people in the office know that they can ask me to talk to him about anything that needs urgent attention without getting my head bitten off. It makes everyone's life easier...

Anyway, I am not sure why this bothers me so much...the guy clearly just doesn't like me, and I shouldn't care about it that much.

But for some reason I do.


nicole d. said...

It would bother me too. I always want everyone to like me...even if I don't particularly like them LOL. He needs to grow up and get over the fact that you have a non-work relationship with Papa Bear, and so what if you work well together. He must be the jealous type since no one else seems to have a problem with it.

Anonymous said...

It would bother me as well because he clearly has made zero investment in getting to know you or work with you at all. If you spend time with me and/or work with me and THEN don't like me, that's fine. But to not like me because of an incorrect and uninformed perception, then that's just sort of a jackass move if you ask me.

All I would say is that he's the only one who appears to think like that, so I wouldn't worry about him. He's obviously closed minded about the situation, so just work around him.

Scotty said...

If it's only one person I wouldnt worry about it. I mean just the fact that it's only one says that you are doing a great job. I feel the same way about being liked by everyone, just need to remind yourself that he's the odd man out.

e.b. said...

I would be bothered because I can never understand why people are unnecessarily rude. I get that it is his own issue - but leave it that way - don't take it out on someone else.

allbilly said...

I think your concern is warranted, but in the end....you do have the connection...so he's just pissing in the wind. You never really know what motivates some people to act in certain ways, but when a guy is a super asshole like this one...i'd guess he has a small prick. Just a guess.

Double-A said...

If you know why, then just spill it! It's because you wouldn't flirt with him, isn't it?

ella w. said...

What a bitch.

ps: I love that you have to write reviews for everybody on the team. They should do that everywhere (especially my last job). Are the reviews anonymous?

Lisa said...

Oh my, that sounds shitty! I know that now it's already two years back, but that sound like really shitty behavior! I hope that he doesn't work there anymore :)