Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The Birthday Boy

Sorry for not writing yesterday...I was kinda busy all day, and figured that my Sunday post could hold you over. Also, my not writing hardly qualifies as a catastrophe, despite my own inflated opinion of myself.

Today, however, is a very special post:-). Because today is The Boy's 30th Birthday!!! I will lay off on the "old" jokes, because he is at least a little itty bit skittish about the whole thing:-). Not that he is totally freaked by turning 30, just maybe a little bothered...but clearly, he must recognize that I keep him young, right?

I had a big long thing written, but it seemed sort of cliched and a little too sappy, so I am not gonna post it. Instead, I am going to tell you a story that I didn't tell you when it happened last year. Why? I dunno...it sort of gets to the things that I love about him so much. I am also not sure why I never told you this, other than just kinda wanting to keep it private. I told some of you offline, but not in this forum.

The Boy is an investment manager...he works for a firm that manages equity investments for various institutions and wealthy investors. In the course of this, they work a lot with firms that are similar to theirs, but just with slightly different specialities. One of these firms that he works with a lot is based in San Francisco, and last January, they offered him a job. A really good one.

It was a promotion over his current position, and one which his current firm couldn't offer him at the time. He loves the people he works with, but it is a smallish firm, and they didn't have that role available at the time, or in the immediate future. It would likely take the better part of a year before he could have moved into the same role at the current firm (in the end, it was about 7 months..he got promoted at the end of September).

It was also a lot more money: they offered him about a $75,000 raise. Again, the current firm couldn't quite match it (although they did give him a big chunk of it right away, and then made up for it later on). Obviously, that is a pretty big difference. In addition, he went to school out there (Berkeley), lived there for a bit after graduation, and I know he would like to move back out there at some point. So, it was a pretty compelling offer.

The downside, of course, is that his family is around here. And me, too:-). If it were just me, I would have moved out there with him in a heartbeat. I love San Francisco and would love to live there (along with New York and Chicago, it is one of the only other places I would consider moving to). Munchkin, however, is another story...and I have no desire to pick her up and move her again. I already did that to her once, and part of that deal (which I made with myself) was that she was gonna be in one place for good.

After some discussion, mostly around just confirming what "we" were, he decided against taking the job. Honestly, I felt really bad about that. He was much less broken up about it than I was...he saw it as basically just accelerating his career by a year or so, and was willing to wait. I never asked him not to take it, and I was willing to live apart, but I was selfishly glad that he stayed.

And they really tried to convince him! When he told them why he was staying, they offered to let him work from Boston about one week every other month, and had some plans for a second office in several years which might let him come back full time, but none of it was really enough to make him want to move. Finally, the CEO told him "Can I talk to your girlfriend before you say no?" Seemed like a pretty reasonable request, so I told The Boy to have him call me at work (also, Papa Bear knows him a little bit...because, well, he knows everyone.)

So, I got a call from the CEO. And his wife. And they were really giving me the hard sell on San Francisco:-). His wife suggested that Munchkin and I come out for a couple of days to visit and offered to set up visits to some schools that she knew were outstanding. There were two other people at the firm with kids about the same age as Munchkin, and she wanted to involve them as well. As recruiting efforts go, it was pretty impressive...lol...and I can see why The Boy liked these people so much.

But it just wasn't gonna work. It wouldn't be fair to Munchkin, and it would have been harder on both of us to move away from the support system we have here. I suppose I could have taken the free trip:-) but it would have been disingenuous, and I didn't want to burn any of The Boy's bridges. And again, I know The Boy would have loved the job, and I was feeling really bad about being the reason he didn't take it.

This all wrapped up right before we left for skiing last year (so, just over a year ago) and I was sorta bummed about the whole thing. But when I told him that, he shrugged and told me "There will be plenty of other jobs, but I would never find another girl like you." I don't know if I cried, but it sure made me feel warm inside:-D

So, what's the point of that story? I dunno...just that he is super awesome, and that he has been better to me than I could have ever expected. It may sound kinda cheesy, but I think at least once a day about how fortunate I am to have found him. He makes me very, very happy.

I would consider it an accomplishment to make him half as happy as he makes me:-) But I am certainly going to try my hardest!

Happy Birthday:-)


Ys said...

that wasn't sappy at all, it was lovely :) i feel exactly the same way with my boyfriend - he is an amazing guy and i just want to make him as happy as he makes me.

Happy Birthday, The Boy! :D

kristin b said...

he sounds like a gem! i am so happy for y'all! :)

ella said...

So are you going to go through the the birthday present? ;)

Accidentally Me said...

Ella - Well, if I said what it was here, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it? :-P

anne said...

Happy Birthday. Tom wrestled a lot with 30 too I can't promise it gets any easier. Oh and glad the surprise party went off without a hitch.

Jessie said...

That is very sweet!

Can I just say that I'm jealous that I will never make 75k in a year, let alone get it as a raise? I totally went into the wrong career field.

Smoking Hot Roommate said...

Happy Birthday from me, too. To one of my favorite people!

Kristin is right, he is a gem.

OC said...

Aww! Loved it! Happy Birthday to the boy... he sounds super sweet!

Still just me said...

Don't you just love being in love?

AaroN said...

Happy Belated Birthday, old man.

Remember, the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Lpeg said...

Happy Belated Birthday to the Boy!!

nicole d. said...

I am so happy you have this Boy! I want one like him for me.