Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Kindness of Munchkin

I'm so proud of Munchkin today. I mean, I am proud of her everyday, and you have likely all noticed that I tend to gush about her quite a bit, but I can't help it. I am just sometime like to brag like a Mom. She is smart and funny and gorgeous and caring and generous and all of those things. But, also, she is just really, really nice.

So here is what happened yesterday...

There is a boy in her class who is kind of socially awkward. He is heavy, and sort of unusual and I don't think he has a ton of friends. I don't think that the kids are really mean to him, but he is just sort of odd and is kind of an outsider. Well, like just about every other boy she has ever met, he has something of a crush on her. And also like just about everyone she has ever met, she basically likes him.

He plays the cello (I think), and apparently quite well...well enough to be in some kind of a junior orchestra that travels a lot and is of some repute. Once a year, they have like a big concert and are then invited to the Boston Symphony Orchestra as guests of the BSO. They get to meet the musicians at a rehearsal, get to sit in the front of the house for a show and have a reception with them afterwards, and they are allowed to bring guests (you probably see where this is going).

So, he called last night and asked Munchkin if she wanted to go with him (well, he is allowed three guests, so he asked if she wanted to go with his parents and him...close enough). And once again, she showed a level of maturity in social situations and an awareness of people's feelings and thoughts that is WAY beyond her years.

If I back up, she had her two best friends over at the time...they were working on a project. I was cleaning up the kitchen and sort of observing, so, I got to see their reactions afterwards. He called and she said "Sure, that sounds fun. I have people over now, so let me call you back later to talk about it, or we can talk at school tomorrow." Her friends reacted with a lot of surprise...something like "Ew, he is is gross and weird, why do you want to go out with him?"

And she kinda shrugged and basically told them "He's nice, and I do think it will be fun. He's not gonna be my boyfriend, I am just going to see his concert." Not sure they really got her logic, but that kinda stuff just doesn't bother her. Later, after they teased her good-naturedly a little bit, and asked her why she didn't just pretend that she had something else to do, she said something that I think is really profound "C'mon, you know it took him a lot of courage to call a girl and ask her. How mean and unfair would it be to just totally reject him for no good reason?"

That was kind of the end of it with her friends, and they left when they were done with their work. Then she called the boy back, and had another super mature conversation...thanked him for inviting her and told him that she thought it sounded like a lot of fun, but also, in her own way, made it clear that she likes being friends with him but doesn't want to give him the impression that she wants to be anything more than that. Nice, simple, no confusion and no hurt feelings.

Afterwards, she told me that she knows he gets really nervous, and she knows he was probably really dying before he got the courage up to actually call and invite her. So she admired his actually having the nerve to ask her. And she knows that he has sort of a crush on her (seriously...they all do, it is fairly obvious...lol) and didn't want to send him any mixed signals.

So, there you have it...unpopular kid that no one really likes asks Munchkin on kind of a date. She manages to handle it without offending anyone, without sending any mixed signals and without being unnecessarily mean to anybody.

Probably kind of a boring story for the rest of you, but I liked it.

I'm proud of her, which is a pretty common occurrence:-)

19 comments:

laurwilk said...

Good for you, Munchkin!

Who gets to dress her for this fine event? SHR, Big Sis or you? Haha.

Smoking Hot Roommate said...

Oh this is SO her.

I love her! She is such a great kid!

dawn said...

WOW! Just WOW! I didn't have that maturity when I was 20. Or 30. Or even 35. Shit, I don't think I'd have that maturity now, at 43!

Thankfully (for my husband), nobody is asking me out on dates. Wait. Should that upset me?

Seriously, that's one fantastic kid you've raised. She's terrific.

Katie said...

I'm really impressed with her maturity! Sweet story

Ally said...

I wish more adults had her maturity....then dating and whatnot might not be such a confusing pain.

Lpeg said...

I agree with Ally. actually, there are times when I wish I had that kind of maturity. Sometimes, being scared of hurting their feelings, I end up doing the wrong thing.

Way to go, what a great kid!

HappyascanB said...

This is so cool! Everyone's right: we can all learn something here from Munchkin! I hope she has a really nice time. So sweet of her!!!

A said...

:) What a kid!

Rhyme and Reason said...

I am a regular reader but I don't comment normally...anyway Munchkin is hands down more mature than a lot of people my age (including myself at times and I consider me to be pretty darn mature!). She always sounds amazing through your blogs but seriously I cannot believe how mature she is!! That is awesome...you are doing a fabulous job!

kristinblakely said...

seriously, you should be so proud of her. i can't even manage that at my age.

Lori S-C said...

What a great kid. Amazing. Give yourself a pat on the back for showing her the right way to do things.
What a class act. the two of you, I mean.

A. said...

What an awesome kid!
I agree with previous commenters; I really wish more adults were more like that.

EJ said...

You know, I have found that raising children to be kind is one of the greatest gifts you can give to them. If she gets that this early, as she clearly does, she's in good shape. Be proud and thankful for Munchkin, but give yourself a pat on the back as well!

Mo said...

That is so awesome. You are doing a great job with her - you should be proud of yourself, too!

Woolly said...

Sounds like I should have Munchkin sit me down and teach me how to treat people... Wow, that is really awesome that she treats people like that. There is no way I would have acted like that when I was younger... you should be proud of her, sounds like your doing a great job of raising her!

Give her a high five for me!

ella said...

Wait....so is she going or not? Maybe I am just slow this morning...

Ine Oroh said...

I couldn't handle the situation any better than Munchkin, that's for sure :)
Yet another score ... go Munchkin!

kimber p said...

It's the young women like your sister that our nation's daughters should strive to be like...she's worth more than a Britney or Paris or anyone like them will ever be in their wasted lifetime...

I found you thru Snarky's blog-your post made me choke up with admiration for the example you're obviously setting for your Munchkin... :)

Jane226 said...

Almost caught up...

But I wanted to add that I'm 26 and wish I could be more like Munchkin. You've really raised an amazing girl.