Thursday, January 24, 2008

Always a bridesmaid...

The forecast for tomorrow around here calls for high 20's and very windy. I think we picked a good weekend to get out of here and head to the Sunshine State! It is not supposed to be super cold all weekend, but I am sure it will still be a whole lot warmer in Florida...

There are eight of us, The Boy, Smoking Hot Roommate and the Rocket Scientist, Munchkin and her friend, and two of SHR and my friends who jumped at the idea of a warm weekend. The agenda calls for nothing...I doubt we will even go out to eat. It is totally about the beach:-)

Since I will be out until Monday, I am going to give you all a weekend-long subject to chew on. I am requesting many comments...hint hint. The topic is bridesmaids.

First, I like the idea of bridesmaids. I know a lot of girls don't really, and I can understand why...I mean, they don't really do much, save for looking good in the pictures. But I like the idea of having people that have been very special to me standing alongside me during the wedding. And, as all of my friends and family are gathered, to kind of identify some people as having been especially important to me.

My issue is that I have way too many people that I consider to be important enough. There are a lot of girls that I would like to have with me...and the idea of having like a dozen girls strikes me as completely asinine. Which means I need to identify the ones that are extra-extra special.

So, before I give you a rundown of the people I would like to have, my questions are...what is an appropriate number? What sort of standard should I apply? Who should be my maid of honor? And finally, most importantly, who should be my bridesmaids?

Now, the contenders:-P

Munchkin - Of course:-) Is 14 too young to be a maid of honor? Does that matter?

Tinkerbelle - She will be 10 years old then...which is pretty little.

Smoking Hot Roommate - Duh.

BFFg - My oldest and dearest friend.

Big Sis - Such an important person to me, and to Munchkin too.

Twin Sister - She has been The Boy's very best friend since before he was born:-) That is hard to argue with!

The Boy's Older Sister - I don't know her as well as Twin Sister, but I like her very much, and she is his sister.

The Body - In the final analysis, she could be the most important person I ever met. A dear, dear friend that was a HUGE support for me in some very difficult times. I miss her terribly:-(

The Mouth - One of my favorite people. I miss her, too:-(

Sweet Cousins #1 and #2 - Along with Tinkerbelle, they are the only other girl cousins on my fathers side (out of like 17.) Sweet Cousin 2's wedding was the first time I ever really met the entire family, and I sorta cried when Sweet Cousin 1 asked me to be in her wedding. And Munchkin was a flower girl, despite not really being related to her. We also all have matching tattoos.

I also have two cousins on my Mother's side that I was especially close to growing up. I have sort of grown apart from them, but I also don't want to gloss over how important they were to me when I was growing up.

So...there is my problem. I can think of 13 girls that I think highly enough of to want them to be in my wedding. I don't think any of them would have hurt feelings if I didn't ask least I hope not (and would be teed off if they did).

So...what do you think? I promise to listen to any advice, even if I reserve the right to ignore it...:-D

Oh, and don't even get me started on who I am going to walk down the aisle with...that is a whole other discussion.


Ally said...

I think that ultimately it's your wedding (obviously) and you should do what you feel good about, but I agree that 13 is entirely too many (and it'll actually look dumb instead of cute in photos).

One thought is that there are several ways people can be a part of the ceremony (reading scripture, singing, etc.), so that might help. I'd cut the cousins; I can't remember you ever mentioning them. I might also cut the Boy's sisters. I know they are important to you and to him, but you have to draw the line somewhere.

I'm not sure why, but I'd draw the line at 6 or 7 (or maybe none for myself:) I guess as we get older there are just more and more important people in our lives, but at least that's a good thing.

Accidentally Me said...

Ally - Well, I may have left out the part where I have pretty much made up my mind on a lot of this:-) But I haven't committed yet, and am still waffling!

I have written about the cousins on my Dad's side...but I am not sure I have written much about my Mom's. I am not as close with them as I once was, although I would like to get back to that.

Lpeg said...

I agree with Ally in the fact that you can also have a few of them read scriptures, sing, etc.

I don't think 14 is too young to be a maid of honor, and I think Munchkin would be honored! Cutting out the cousins is probably good... or do something unique and have your own way of acknowledging them! Maybe they all get to sit up front just behind the bridesmaids? Maybe that's corny, I don't know.

Goodluck with this! And have a fantastic weekend!!!

kristin b said...

Okay.. Munchkin for maid of honor is a definite! I read somewhere that a maid of honor has to be atleast 18 because they sign the marriage license, so if you wanted Munchkin to be the maiden (?) and like SHR to be maid, that might lessen the "technical" number of bridesmaids for you. You could also, like for Tinkerbelle, do junior bridesmaids. I was talking to a friend of mine who's recently engaged about the groom's sister obligation. She didn't think it was fair for her future mother in law to assume that. I, however, would think that unless that sister isn't at all close to him, it's a must. So, like, for you.. Twin Sister is gonna be a must. And I would assume his Older Sister would follow suit. Maybe this is just me. I don't have sisters, I have brothers. And I'm very very close to them. So I imagine I'd always be close to who they marry. I get where you are with Sweet Cousins. Maybe make the cousins on your mom's side do the guest book, still inviting them to the Rehearsal Dinner and stuff. That would give you a maiden and matron of honor, 8 bridesmaids, a junior bridesmaids, and 2 other people to help out. Just a thought! It's kinda fun to plan. :)

Jenica said...

I'm a non traditionalist. I'd have the boy's sisters stand up on his side. While they are important to you, they're probably more important to him. If we were having attendants, Scott's two closest friends are girls, and they would've been his attendants, them not having penis's shouldn't rule them out as being some of his biggest supporters.

Maybe requirements are different where you live, but here, anyone you choose can sign your marriage license, it doesn't have to be the maid of honor/best man, or anyone in your wedding party. It can be anyone. I don't think Munchkin's age matters at all, definitely have her be your maid of honor. And Tinkerbelle might be a little young, but that doesn't change that she's really important to you (and I'm sure she'll be tickled pink!)

I can't give you an appropriate number after that... go with your gut. There are plenty of ways to involve people, readings, etc. And if there are just too darn many to have them all stand up or participate in other ways, get them all corsages to set them slightly apart from the rest of the guests.

Miriam D said...

Tough topic! I hear the traditional number is 7. It's so hard to pick the bridesmaids... which is why if I get married, I dont' think I'll have bridesmaids. It's too hard to pick.

I'm all for family first... Munchkin should definitely be maid of honor!

ella said...

13 is a bridezilla amount of bridesmaids. Munchkin should be maid of honor. How about having Tinkerbelle be the flower girl?

Ys said...

I like small weddings so I'd say have two or three people up there with you who are the most-most important. I don't think your wedding should neccessarily be about having everyone up there with you who you love. So I vote keep it small. Everyone who'd be there will know how much you love them anyway.

Of course, if you're going all out and having a huge wedding then shove them all in - you can have as many people as you want walking down the aisle behind you :)

brandy said...

Ahh everyone who has left a comment has said something I agree with. I'm on the same page as Ally when it comes to cutting the cousins. Also Munchkin as maid of honor? I think that's a great idea. As for a specific number, go with what feels right. And I think Ally hit it perfectly by saying that it might be a good idea to give out other honors (ie: jobs) to people you just can't fit into the wedding party. Especially if you think of their specific talents and try to find a job you know they would be good at. I had a friend who had to cut people from her wedding party. One of the girls not included was an amazing photographer so the bride asked her to take pictures. They turned out better than her professional wedding photos and her friend was honored to be given the job. Whatever you do, enjoy the time planning, this is going to be such an exciting time in your life!

nicole d. said...

I too like small weddings. If you have too many attendants, the bride and groom get lost in the intended. I like no more than 2 bridesmaids and a flower girl or 2. But how many people does the Boy have to match up with your candidates? I think also that Twin sister would fit well on th Boy's side, I have seen this in a few weddings. No matter what you decide, I am sure your wedding will rock!

Kyla Bea said...

Hm....good thoughts up here. I think that this becomes a problem mostly if you decide that you want 9 girls up there and you have 10 friends, when it's going to be everyone you know except one person it can be an exercise in exclusion.

Josh and I are currently planning our wedding and we're only going to have two people up with us - our sisters and a life long friend. Why not have munchkin and then a close older friend who could help you with getting the details down? And keep in mind that being part of a wedding party can come at a significant financial cost, and takes up a ton of time. Saving some of your friends that might not be a bad thing = )