Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Adventures in Sistering. Or Mothering.

Two posts today...I have more politics as well, but I need to cover the weekend and the beginning of school and yada yada yada.

The weekend was really a great end to the summer. I say "weekend", but I was at the beach for basically all of two weeks, so it was a little more than just a weekend. It was really wonderful to have Tinkerbelle around, and I think I will remember this visit fondly for a very, very long time. Just about the only major thing in my life that bothers me is that I don't get to see her very is very hard to get to know someone from this kind of distance, so having the chance to spend two weeks with her all by herself was really a treat.

And she did great! That is a really long time to be away from home at her age, but she did really well. She did have a meltdown on Friday...she was tired and homesick and hungry and just basically wanted to go home. But she went to bed early and rallied for Saturday:-). I thought about sending her home by herself...she said she would go alone and she would have been fine and her uncle was at the airport to get her...but in the end I decided it would be better if I went with her. So, I flew back to Chicago with her on Sunday to essentially drop her off, then turned around and headed straight back home.

I probably should have planned that better and seen a couple of people while I was there, but it was sort of last minute. I just had this horrible feeling that there would be turbulence or something scary and she would be all by herself and I couldn't bear to think of that:-)

So, all in all, it was a great visit, and I am really glad to have had the opportunity. Obviously, not the greatest of circumstances, but I think it worked out well...Tinkerbelle had a fun vacation, I got to spend some time with my littlest sister, and her Mom got to go through the hardest part of her recovery without worrying about the little one. So, win-win-win, right? Her Mom is doing better, too...they got all of the swelling under control and that eased the pain quite a bit.

They are both back home, and one of our cousins is staying with them for a bit to sort of help out and make sure everything is OK. She is in High School and lives just a couple miles away, so she will likely just run back and forth and make sure the Tinkerbelle's Mom doesn't have to do anything to hurt herself worse. This is why I love my Father's family so much...they are just the nicest, warmest, most helpful people you can imagine:-).

Munchkin started school again yesterday, too. Seventh grade...and exactly how the fuck did that happen? I think back to the day I dropped her off for her first day of fourth grade and it seems like only a couple of months ago. I am happy to report that all of the horrible anxiety I had that day, and all of the immense worries were very much for naught:-) Things have worked out pretty darn well...

One minor issue...back to school clothes shopping. Actually, that is kind of a misnomer, since she doesn't need any clothes for school: they wear uniforms, so she just needs khaki pants and skirts (one more reminder that I am strongly in favor of school uniforms). But she needed some new fall clothes, so we did some shopping the other day.

Let's just say that she is developing her own sense of fashion, and it is somewhat at odds with my vision for her;-). Let's also say that she is very comfortable with her own body (which I am happy about...better that than a whole bunch of debilitating body image issues.) And let's also say that she has become keenly aware of how to dress that body in the most effective manner. However, let us also say that no girl completely picks up all of the nuances of appropriate dressing at age 13 (or even like 17!)

And now you can probably see where the disagreement comes in during clothes shopping;-) (The phrase "You can't wear that, you look like a hooker," may have come out once. Although, in fairness, she repeated it to me at one point and she was

It really isn't that big a's not like we sit and fight over it...I just noticed a lot more disagreement this time around, and it took us much longer than it usually does. I am all for her looking cute, and I am really proud of her for being this comfortable in her own is just that girls her age that are changing so fast have trouble keeping up with their own bodies sometimes. It takes a while to really understand your own body well enough to dress yourself all the time.

And that, to me, is one of the roles of being a Mom. Maybe I am overreacting and I need to let her make her own mistakes...but so be it, I can only do what I feel is right.

Also, I am at least moderately jealous that she can already wear things that I can't...god damn you, boobs!!!


Anonymous said...

Oh god 7th grade! Worst school year ever.

Woolly said...

I hated grade school! HATED

laurwilk said...

Ha, I have had this same discussion so many times with my sister. She also just started 7th grade and we have had some 'outfit issues'. For her first dance, she thought it was completely appropriate to wear a halter top with a bra. Ha, I about died. She even threw it back in my face by saying that 'I used to let my bra show' (I went SJP for a little bit in college). At least you only have to worry about it 2 days a week!