Grief Without Loss

I am back, and it is really good to be home. I was unsure whether I would blog about this, but I have decided that I will…I find writing therapeutic, and this seems like as good a topic for that as any. So, since I have a quiet hour to myself on the airplane, I am going to spill out some stuff that I feel like saying…I will post it when I get to the office. The bad news for you is that this will take up a couple of posts, because there is a lot to say.

I was in Chicago for a couple of days because my father died (btw…there is a moderately freaky premonition in that post…and I was re-reading it and fixed some errors, which is why it showed up in Google Reader yesterday for those of you that saw it…) He had been sick, and went into the prison hospital about two weeks ago to await the inevitable. Ironically, he died of basically the same liver and kidney failure that my mother died of a year and a half ago.


Despite having a lot to say, I am not sure that I really know how I feel about this. I understand that for most people, this would qualify as a traumatic and possibly tragic event, but for me it is much less than that. There is no personal sadness that he is gone…after all, he was just a random guy I met when I was 21.

I feel terrible for his brothers and sisters. They are incredibly sweet people, and every one of them, I am sure, has suffered over the years for not being able to reach out and help their brother. I am sad that they have lost a sibling and that they were never able to save him like they wish they could have. I am sad that his mother and father both died knowing that he was lost and that they never met two of their granddaughters.

And I am sad that I never had a father. I guess if my choice was either him or nobody, I would have picked no one. But I still wish I had a father, and the same goes for Tinkerbelle.

I found out on Saturday that he had died, and decided on Sunday to go out there for the related activities. I could have easily skipped it, but I wanted to be there because I knew how much it affected my aunts and uncles…it hit them a lot harder than it hit me. They have been incredibly generous in welcoming me into the family, and this is something that I wanted to do as part of the family. And…well, I dunno, I feel like you should go to your father’s funeral (not that there actually was a funeral.)

Smoking Hot Roommate is out of town again, so Big Sis spent a couple of days practicing her motherhood skills…she stayed at our place and looked after Munchkin. Amazingly, they both survived:-P Anyway…very public thanks to Big Sis for always being willing to help out on short notice:-) Being a quasi-mom is hard, and I am blessed to have some people who shoulder a huge portion of the burden for no reason other than being really nice people.

So I flew out on Sunday (small snowstorm…fun) and I stayed with Sweet Aunt #1 while I was there. There was no funeral, just a memorial service on Tuesday afternoon and a wake on Tuesday night. I guess that is sort of backwards, but whatever…I don’t tell people how to grieve. He is going to be cremated, and his siblings are still thinking about what to do with the ashes (they asked my opinion, I have none).

BFFg took Monday off from work, so we had a fun girls’ day. I think that she may have thought I would need the company, which is really sweet of her…mostly we just wandered around some stores and ate a lot:-D Then we met BFFb and another friend for dinner.

Tinkerbelle’s Mom decided that it was not a good idea for her to go to the service or to the wake, and I wholeheartedly agree. She didn’t need to be there, and it would have been a pretty rotten way to meet your father for the only time. Plus, when I write about the weirdness of the wake, it will become even clearer why it was good that she stay away. They did come to dinner between the service and the wake, though. Also, I did the most fun thing ever with Tinkerbelle all day Tuesday, and I will tell you about it Friday!

I will save the wake for tomorrow, because I have more to say about that then I thought I would. It was more emotional than I expected, because it was a lot different than I had expected it to be.

I will tell you about a nice little surprise that I got from my father’s oldest brother...well, really from all of his siblings. My grandmother left her kids a little bit of money, which they were unofficially supposed to split equally. Since my father was in prison and they were worried about the State, or someone else, taking hold of whatever he got, they decided it would be best if his brother “kept” it for him.

Well, he never got out of prison after that, so my uncle still had it in a savings account, and they all decided to give it to me and Tinkerbelle. It is not anything that qualifies as a massive inheritance, but it was a pleasant surprise, and not something they had to do. I will gladly add it to my “down payment for a house” fund…and we opened a college savings account and a regular savings account for Tinkerbelle, too. So that was nice.

But now I have a lot of blogs to catch up on, and some real work, too;-) Also, seems like I already have a backlog of blog stuff to write, too…the wake tomorrow, Tuesday with Tinkerbelle on Friday, and the “The Black Donnelly’s” after that. If you didn’t see it, they are showing it tonight on NBC…it was pretty good and if you watch, you will be able to follow the post I write about it this weekend:-P

So, that is where I have been. I am glad I went, and I am glad that I could be there for the rest of the family. But for me… “I am so sorry for your loss,” doesn’t really apply. Hopefully that doesn’t make you all think I am too heartless.

Checking out for a bit.

It was really nice to wake up next to The Boy this morning. I am not really a "cuddler"...when I go to bed, I like to cuddle for like 5 minutes, and then I get hot and fidgety and need my space. Same goes for laying on the couch...I can't lay intertwined with someone for a real long time. But, it is really comforting to wake up next to him, so that is all good. Oh, and the morning sex...that is pretty top-notch, too:-D

Munchkin, SHR and I took Papa Bear's dog for a really long walk this morning, which was nice. Dogs love donuts...bet you didn't know that;-) Especially plain donut holes from Dunkin Donuts (which are called, coincidentally, "Munchkins"). It is a beautiful day outside...bright and sunny, and not too, too cold.

I may be gone for a couple of days, and I don't know if I will be blogging at all...not real sure. I have to figure a few things out before I can leave (like...who can babysit...any volunteers?). So, if I am missing, don't worry too much;-) Hope everyone has a good week!

[Yes, mystery intentional;-) Feel free to speculate...]

Date recap

It is really cold outside again...we had a couple warm days and then another arctic blast. I guess that is what we all get for living here;-)

Anyway, Munchkin's date went pretty well...she was all giggly when I picked her up. And they held hands when we walked him home...cute! He did not, however, kiss her goodbye;-) I must be too intimidating...lol. She also insisted on bringing money and paying her own share...she is very liberated for a little girl;-) Maybe I will take them on a real date sometime soon...unless they break up in the next week...Lol.

Smoking Hot Roommate and I had a fun girls night with some friends last night. We met for drinks and dinner and then hit a couple bars to check out the sights;-) The Boy and a couple of his friends met up with us for a bit (one of his friends may have hooked up with one of our friends...I have to check on that). Munchkin had flopped in my bed...good thing last night wasn't one of those sleepovers I talked about the other day...;-)

Munchkin had a basketball game this morning and the final score was 8-6...no kidding. Little girls don't make many baskets...I feel like they should lower the basket when they are this young. It was still fun, stuff like that is a fun reason to get up and out of the house kinda early. Now we are home for a bit until she has to go out to a birthday party, which hopefully tires her out so that she goes to bed early:-D

Um...I guess that is about it...no one reads on Saturdays anyway...LOL.

Stuff

It is Friday, so you get some totally random thoughts...

We got a little itty bit of snow last night, which makes everything look beautiful. Something about waking up on a bright sunny day with a thin coating of white on the Common...really, really serene and peaceful.

SHR and Munchking hung out last night and let me get away for a couple hours with The Boy. An evening well spent. I think I might like him:-D

The Colbert Report talked about HPV and Cervical Cancer last night...weird timing (I think it was a re-run.) For the record, I think I am going to get the vaccine at the same time Munchkin does...I have to check that with my doctor. Nothing says sisterly bonding like vaccinations;-)

More TV news...who watches The Sarah Silverman Program? I love her - incredibly tasteless, but hilarious. What is a nice Jewish girl like that doing telling jokes like that?

Per a discussion I had with Ella yesterday, I really want a Swissie. I love big dogs...the bigger the better. Unfortunately, we live on the fourth and fifth floor, have no backyard and no one is home all day. So no dogs for us for a while, at least.

Papa Bear's dog is staying with us all weekend because he is away. Always fun!

I think I am getting a theology lesson from Ally today. She started yesterday, but I had to run and cut the discussion off short. So, as long as she has the time and patience, we can start to work through it. I am sort of anti-organized religion, but I do like to hear people talk about what resonates with the.

Aaron is leaving very suggestive messages on his IM..."snuggling > sleep deprivation." First, feel free to beat the proverbial crap out of him over his use of the word "snuggling". And second, I have missed a lot of sleep to be with a lot of people, and it was NEVER just because I thought someone was nice. Me thinks Aaron may be smitten...

BFFb got into some trouble...a guy in a bar said some nasty things to BFFg, and he didn't react well. I know you aren't supposed to punch people in public, and you really shouldn't break their nose just for saying nasty stuff, and that you should be the bigger person and just walk away, and yada yada yada. But deep down, I appreciate that he is so fiercely defensive of his girls:-) There is a reason that he is just about my favorite person in the world (well, top 5, at least).

Tinkerbelle painted me a picture in art class and sent it...super cute. I really enjoy talking to her Mom, we are kinda buddies. Weird to think that in a different universe, she could have been my step-mother...

Not a whole lot up for the weekend...SHR and I are gonna meet some friends for drinks tonight and see where the night goes from there. Big Sis and The Brain Surgeon are staying in, and Munchkin is gonna hang with them, so I am of the leash for a while. This is, of course, after her big date...

Basketball game tomorrow morning. Have you ever watched 11 year old girls basketball? There are not many baskets...lol. She has a birthday party to go to in the afternoon and evening. Then I think The Boy and I will just probably watch a movie or something...not real sure yet. Maybe we will sneak out for a drink or some dessert for a couple minutes. I don't like to leave Munchkin home alone for more than, say, an hour or so.

So, not a terribly exciting weekend, which is OK by me. They don't all have to be chock full o' fun (who am I kidding...I get to have my way with him all night long, it will be chock full o' fun).

26 days until spring...

Science lessons

Good comments yesterday. For Billy, read this. About 90% of cervical cancer is caused by a virus that is spread through sex. Cervical cancer is a particularly bad form of cancer, and is the second most common form of cancer in women worldwide.

There is now a vaccine to prevent against the majority of the strains of the virus (causing 70% of cervical cancers). The CDC recommends that girls be vaccinated at age 11 or 12.

[Which raises an important question...I have at least two regular readers with girls that age or close...Jordan, SJM, how do you feel about this? Respond via email or IM if you would rather...same for anyone else with girls that age...]

See...this is an educational blog!

The other comments...That is more like it...people telling me that I shouldn't let Munchkin go on a date. I like to have a little discord now and again.

However, I may have oversold it by calling it a "date". And yes, you may notice that I do things like that on occasion just for the sake of being inflammatory;-) They get out of school at 3:00 on Friday, and I am meeting Munchkin at 5:00, the same time I get her every day. So the extent of their date is that they are walking about 50 feet and spending two hours together in the afternoon. If I know anything about fifth and sixth graders, there will be little girls watching them and giggling:-)

I think I am OK with them going unsupervised (I could change my mind). It is a pretty harmless situation, and I trust her to do what she says she will. She has never given me any reason to doubt her judgement, or to go somewhere and do something she doesn't tell me about...so I feel like it is OK for her to do this.

Again, I could change my mind;-) (Maybe I will send a spy from work that she doesn't know!!!)

First Dates

I can't believe that not one reader scolded me for promoting pre-marital sex and yelled at me for not preaching abstinence above all else to the little one. C'mon...I know someone must have wanted to say it...

So, our bitter cold snap seems to have passed, and it has actually been pretty nice outside for the last couple of days. I think yesterday got up to almost 50 (which seems like beach weather when it was 8 the day before) and today is kind of the same. Some of the ice is finally melting, which makes it easier to use sidewalks, so that's good.

Munchkin has her first ever official date on Friday after school. They usually get out of school at 5:00, but this Friday they are done early so all of the teachers can go to a team-building exercise. Since they are done at 3:00, the Little Dreamboat asked Munchkin to go out for pizza right after school. How cute is that? Smoking Hot Roommate is making some noise about leaving work to crash her date...what do we think? She reads this, so you can give her your opinions of that;-)

That's about all I have...some sort of big doings at work, so I was super busy yesterday and will be this afternoon, too...so short blog entry. I don't really have much else to say anyway;-)

Sleepovers

Posting early because I am not gonna get the chance tomorrow, I don't think. Everyone returning from the weekend now has a lot of reading (and not much actual content) to catch up on;-)

I was gonna write a post about Britney Spears and her horribly desperate cries for attention, but that is too easy. Seriously...we get it, Brit. Justin and Christina have better careers and your marriage was a sham and you are white trash. Shaving your head doesn't change that. By the way, who watched the kids during her one-day rehab stay? I hate to say it, but K-Fed may be the more responsible parent.

OK, as mentioned, I am officially lifting the "no sleepovers" rule. For the uninitiated, I have been reluctant to let The Boy spend nights with me if Munchkin is home, and I have been shy about spending too many nights at his place as well. He stayed at our place once when his heat was broken, and maybe three other times, total. The reason? Well, maybe I am being a bit of a prude (I know, I know...) but I am concerned about the things she sees.

I think actions speak louder than words do, and I am therefore cognisant of the way I act around her. I never introduced her to boys that I dated until I felt it was a "serious" relationship (of which there has been exactly one since she moved here), and I never felt like it was appropriate for her to see boys spending the night with any regularity.

By now, anyone who reads realizes that I enjoy talking about and writing about sex. I also really enjoy having it;-). I also think that sex is an important part of a relationship...physical compatibility is a big part of overall compatibility. I am comfortable with my sexuality, and I would like for her to be as comfortable as she can, as well.

However, I want her to be a little bit scared of it as well. Sex is not something to be treated as a "small thing"...deciding to do it should be a really big deal. It is not going to be too long before she reaches the age where she is thinking about becoming sexually active (fucking shit, I can't believe I just wrote that sentence...) and I wanna help her put the whole thing into a framework that lets her make good decisions.

I don't know of any better way to teach her to treat sex with the reverence that I would like her to than by showing it some deference of my own. She is not dumb...she knows what is going on when he stays over, and my avoiding that says to her (I hope) that it is not something that should be taken lightly.

I am not sure that really explains it, nor am I sure that my rationale really makes sense. But that is what I think on the subject.

So, why the change of policy? A couple things. First, Munchkin understands that The Boy and I have a serious and loving relationship. She has seen that relationship first hand for nearly a year now (she goes on lots of dates with us:-)) and I am comfortable with her thinking that this level of commitment is now appropriate.

Second, I have already talked with her about the physical nature of our relationship...she asked, and I told her that we do have sex. No real dirty details;-) but I can't lie to her, so I told her the truth. And finally, The Boy has demonstrated beyond any question his commitment to me and his view of this as a permanent relationship. I feel the same way, and I feel like it would be moderately disingenuous to maintain the charade.

Anyway, that is it, pretty much. This doesn't mean that he is moving in...most likely it means that one night every weekend is an "I get super-laid" night...hee hee. And yes, I will sit Munchkin down and explain all of this to her, because I am a dork:-P

Vroom!!!

I spent all afternoon watching NASCAR...no kidding. I still don't get it, but I feel like I have learned something new...lol. Turns out that the guy who brought all the girls up here is a big fan, and yesterday was like the biggest race of the year. So he watched NASCAR all afternoon and I was around so I watched it too. It actually makes for good background noise...I got a lot of work done because it is not too distracting. I really liked the car with the M&M's on it, they are really cute!

It is COLD outside. I went to get coffee after everyone left this morning and it was -6. Ouch. The girls all wanted to ski more, so they all bundled up and went back out for another day. I imagine they will quit at lunchtime so we can get on the road, but we will see.

I am looking forward to getting home. There is a limit to the amount of solitude I can handle, and I think I am reaching that limit. I am starting to get bored;-) Not that I don't enjoy sitting by the fire, but I am itching to get back to civilization.

Dinner at Big Sis' house tonight. Nothing special, but we haven't all gotten together as a "family" in a bit, and everyone is in town and available, so we are all gonna go over there tonight. That should be fun...always is! It will be nice to see The Boy after a couple days, too.

Then back to work and school tomorrow. The girls were all complaining because public schools have this week off and they don't. I tried to explain to them that they get a week in March, longer Christmas Break and the are done with school on Memorial Day, but they aren't having it right now. Short attention spans, I guess...

Mountain Retreat, Day Two

I had a great day of doing very little yesterday...I spent the whole afternoon making chili, watching TV and doing some work. Then I made a giant margarita, drew a hot bubble bath and read US Weekly, Star and People for an hour and a half. Basically...heaven!!!

I made my way into town to sit at a coffee shop and read the paper this morning, which was really fun. One of the best-looking rugged, mountain man type guys I have ever seen spent a good deal of effort hitting on me, which is always flattering. And I am not gonna lie...I was totally having a cute day:-) I have been invited to a party at someone's house tonight, but I think I will have to skip that one...

I have kind of a funny follow-up to my story from yesterday. Everyone got back from skiing at about 4:30 and got changed and whatnot. If you recall, I promised to keep the kids occupied so that The Mother and The Father could have an evening to themselves. This was apparently a really enticing offer, because they basically inhaled dinner and sprinted back to their bedroom...hee hee. I think by about 5:30 they had made their exit to "shower and maybe lie down for a nap":-D. [No comment on whether or not this was related to my having added something to the shopping list she gave me... Seriously, I have a really dirty mind sometimes, but I guess that is what you all love about me;-)]

So, I fed the girls...my chili was awesome and I made brownies, too...and then we did hair and makeup, talked more about boys and watched some TV. They made a pile of pillows and blankets and sleeping bags on the floor and by 9:00 they were all snoring away.

At 11:30, I went to the kitchen to make myself a brownie sundae (mmm!!!) before I watched Justin Timberlake on Saturday Night Live (love him...and watch this.) Around this time, The Mother and Father returned from their love nest to watch some TV. They were hilarious... totally giddy and kind of giggly and really looking like cats that just ate about three dozen canaries each.

They stayed up and hung out a bit...we actually had a kind of random serious discussion about life, love, children, careers and all kinds of stuff. It's interesting...I would look at these two from the outside and think everything is simple and perfect for them. He is a partner in one of the bigger Boston-based law firms, she is on the board and heavily involved with a couple of non-profits that she really cares about. They are both gorgeous, they are successful and rich, they have four great kids, at least two spectacular houses, and they have been married for 20 years.

But they both talked about how hard it is to find time for each other, and to balance all of the demands of just being regular people. If one kid is a great soccer player and has a tournament some weekend in Connecticut, that means that one parent might have to go, which is great for that parent and that kid, but leaves the other parent alone with the other kids, and might also deprive one of the other kids of having a parent at something important to them. Then you add in a demanding work schedule (and she drastically altered her career when they had kids) and the demands on the two of them get really intense.

I think their real point was that they aren't unique...that this is just what happens to people, and that there is no end to the compromises needed, and no way to underestimate the need for honest dialogue between people to make a marriage work. OK, so that is not news to anyone, I know...but it came up last night, and this is sort of a stream-of-consciousness blog... I don't have parents to tell me these things, so someone has to:-P

They also had some interesting things to say about Munchkin...that all the other kids really look up to her and talk about her almost reverentially when she is not around. I was obviously happy to hear that:-) She is a really special kid, and I am lucky to have her (I know...I get repetitive, but I think I qualify for the "Mothers allowed to talk about their kids ad nauseum" exemption)

I talked to The Boy a bit ago, too...he is off on a guys' weekend at Foxwoods. He is still on my extra-special-nice-guy list. I think when I get back I am gonna tell him that I am permanently lifting the "no sleepovers" rule, at least on weekends. That is separate story, though...and this post is already way too long! Another afternoon of doing nothing and likely taking another long bath. I can't wait:-D

Ski Bunnies

First of all, I love The Boy extra much today...long story I don't wanna go into, but he said the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me before I left last night. He is a sweetie:-)

No issues getting up to Vermont...roads were clear and the traffic was not bad at all. The ride up was hilarious...I drove Munchkin and two other girls up and they basically giggled the whole way and talked about boys. Munchkin's boyfriend is apparently the cutest boy in the school and the sixth grade girls are all jealous that he has set his eyes on a younger women (Munchkin knows all of those girls and says none of them are mean at all, so the other two may be exaggerating).

The house is gorgeous...it looks small when you pull in the driveway, but the front door is actually on the third floor. The property falls away from the road, so all the windows are on the back of the house. I woke up this morning and realized that the views are spectacular....snow-covered mountains and pine trees everywhere; it looks like a painting.

Anyway, the girls immediately got into their pajamas and turned a movie on. The Father, who was in kind of a foul mood all day (he is entitled...long week or work, then pack up to spend a weekend trapped in the woods with seven women...maybe not the best idea he has ever heard) announced that he was tired and wanted to go to bed. The Mother, a girl after my own heart, said "Let's open a bottle of wine and hit the jacuzzi!"

First thing...it is totally impossible for a 46 year-old human female's body to look that good after having four kids...absolutely ridiculous. OK, maybe she had her boobs lifted a bit...I dunno, but how do you have stomach muscles? After four kids!!! Anyway, she is almost twice my age but we had some fun "girl talk". Actually, we giggled and talked about boys...lol...so I guess not much changes from 11 to 24 to 46.

She was lamenting their lack of free time (and its effects on their sex life) so I came up with the super-best idea ever. After dinner tonight I am gonna hang out with the girls and give them the whole evening to themselves, alone in their gigantic master suite. Their bedroom and the master bath are really secluded from the rest of the house, so they should get a whole bunch of peace and quiet. Maybe she can put that ridiculous body and that huge hot tub to a little different kind of use...hee hee.

So, I woke up after everyone left this morning, stopped at a coffee shop, went to the grocery store to get a whole mess of stuff and stopped at a florist to get some flowers too. It is not too cold out...maybe mid-twenties or so, which is pretty good for here, I think. Then I started making chili, watched the news, took a shower and stared out the window at the mountains a lot. And every second of it was wonderful!!!

Everyone is on their way back for lunch, so I am gonna get started making sandwiches for everyone. Then I am going to maybe do a little work this afternoon, but mostly, I am gonna do nothing!!!

The Valentines Day Gift, Part II

OK, here is the more full story on Munchkin's Valentine's Day gift...

The first question that came up was "Where does a sixth grader get $500 for a bracelet?" (Also...my jewelry estimation is brilliant...actual cost: $539). I don't exactly know the answer, but that part is not that surprising. Most of the kids that she goes to school with are quite affluent, so it is not really out of the question that a kid might have that much in a savings account and clean it out on a whim. He could also theoretically have a credit card...I am not sure.

That also sort of gets to why he may have thought it was appropriate. On the whole, the kids that she goes to school with are polite, un-snotty, hard-working and down to earth. I rarely ever get an "obnoxious rich kid" vibe from any of them. But...it is impossible to grow up in the places these kids do and not have a view that is a bit skewed. If you see Dad buy Mom a $10,000 necklace just because he wants to be nice that week, then you probably start to think that a $539 bracelet is a normal Valentine's Day gift for you girlfriend.

This has been a concern of mine since I moved her out here...she is definitely different than the kids she goes to school with. (This is also why I made a point to get her into some non-school things...like city soccer and baseball...so she would meet friends from other places.) So far, it hasn't been a problem at all, and you have all heard me write at length about how warm and receptive everyone involved with the school has been. However, she is still different, and it becomes obvious sometimes...like yesterday.

Anyway, I called the kid's mother on Wednesday because I felt like the gift was a bit overboard. Apparently she had taken him shopping last weekend for a gift, and he really wanted to get this bracelet (I gotta say...with taste like this, he could be a keeper;-)), but she nixed that idea. They may be absurdly loaded, but she still thought that it would be too much for Valentine's Day. So, she said "No" and they picked out an adorable stuffed bear.

Well, Romeo wasn't to be denied, so he went back on his own and got the bracelet later on. Mom was not happy with this sneakiness (which means he probably hates me for ratting him out...good news is that he doesn't seem to have taken it out on Munchkin). Her suggestion was that Munchkin keep the bracelet, but I didn't think that was a real good idea. And to be honest...I don't think Munchkin wanted to keep it. So, she kept the bear and we gave the bracelet back yesterday morning...and I think that problem is solved. Maybe he can hold onto it and give it to her or some other girl in a more appropriate manner.

Fortunately, Munchkin is not at all broken up about this...I think she is sort of relieved. She is a really, really smart kid, and I don't think she felt comfortable taking that kind of a gift and the things that it says. She kinda likes having a boyfriend, but she also knows that 11 year olds don't have "relationships" and she doesn't want to act too much like an adult. [It sort of reminds me of The Simpsons episode where the new girl, voiced by Lisa Kudrow, moves in and everyone copies her and tries to act grown-up, and only Lisa wants to stay young...]

Anyway, we are leaving to go skiing after work and I am looking forward to it immensely. To recap, the parents of one of Munchkin's friends have a ski house in Vermont and offered to take five girls skiing for the long weekend...and I volunteered to go along and help them out. But I am not going to do any skiing, so I am going to have TONS of time to myself to bum around the house, read, write, soak in the tub, cook and just basically be by myself:-) I am looking forward to making chili all day tomorrow and spaghetti and meatballs Sunday. I assume the kids and the two parents will be skiing all day both days, which means I get the house to myself (no Boy, though...that would have been better...lol)

I will have Internet, and lots of time. I am also kind of in an introspective mood and may write at length this weekend. Depends on where my head is.

Anyway, wish me luck! Five pre-teen girls can be a lot...lol...even for the coolest Mom in the fifth grade.

My Two Valentines:-)

We bagged the idea of going out last night and had dinner at our place instead...just me and my two Valentines...one tall, charming, handsome bunch of sexy, and one bubbling, adorable bundle of cuteness. I thought about cooking, but we did take-out instead, which was a good idea. Really, The Boy and Munchkin spent the whole time talking about school, her BF and sports, and I just sat and thought about how cute that was:-)

I made an exception to the sleepover rule because a) the weather was so foul that I would have felt bad making him walk across the Common to get home, and b) that made for a really good excuse to get me laid...hee hee.

I was on the verge of slipping into a comfortable post-sex sleep when, around 1:00 or so, I heard the shuffling of little feet and a knock on my door. Munchkin had a bad dream:-( So, I ditched The Boy and slept in her bed instead of my own...I am not much of a cuddler anyway...lol. Basically, I used him for his body and then got out of there as soon as I could:-D

I had a bit of an issue yesterday, and I wanna hear what you think about how I handled it. I already talked about this with a couple people, but I want some comments from anyone else that has an opinion. The situation is this...Munchkin's BF went way overboard on a Valentine's gift.

He gave her a gold and white gold bracelet that is really, really nice, and that I would guess cost around $500. I feel like this is way too much for kids that are 11, and for kids that have been "going out" for all of a week and a half.

So...my question...especially for the parents that read...what would you have done? I will tell you what I actually did tomorrow...

Snow at Last

We are in the midst of our first snowstorm of the year...I guess I can't complain when the first snow comes on February 14th. I sort of expected that Munchkin's school day would be cancelled, but they have class this morning, and then the are sending the kids home after classes (usually they have class all morning and then other stuff all afternoon, like sports, music, art and theater and stuff.) I think I am going to bring her to the office so I can get some work done and she can entertain everyone;-)

We baked cookies for Munchkin's Boyfriend last night, so she was excited to have school and get to bring them to him. I sort of got The Boy the same thing...only I ordered them from a bakery that will deliver them to his office. Aren't I sweet:-D

The snow is actually not bad right now...there is only a little on the ground and it is kind of sleeting a bit. It is supposed to rain all day, then get really, really cold and windy and then snow more later on. So the roads should be an absolute mess by tonight...one more vote for urban living and all of its attached commuting by foot;-)

The Boy and I are gonna try and go out for dinner tonight if the weather is ok. Nothing overly fancy, but it is a good excuse for a weeknight date. We can always just bring something in and eat at my place...I don't have a sitter, so I would be leaving Munchkin home alone for a bit if we do. She is old enough, but I still get nervous...

The snow should be good for skiing this weekend. Or, it should be good for whoever goes skiing while I lounge around. I got an email last week from the mother that said "We just had a new jacuzzi put in, so bring a swimsuit!" Do we think she may be hitting on me? (No, I don't really think that, it was a joke!)

Happy Valentine's Day everyone:-)

False Alarm! Romance Lives...

OK, no misleading blog titles today...that was mean of me, and I apologize sincerely...

Munchkin decided not to end her lengthy and torrid romance yesterday, and seems like she is committed to a long term future (meaning like 3 more days, at least). It's really cute, he calls the house for her and always asks "Hi, this is Dreamboat, may I please speak with Munchkin?" and then they chat for a minute and that's it. For now it's cute...but this boy thing could get out of control quickly. She is gonna be a hottie...

Provided she doesn't break up with him today (or him with her), we will have to get him something for Valentine's day. Maybe we can bake something for him tonight.

So, I did something yesterday that I should do much, much, much, much more often. I stole The Boy away from work for a long lunch and we spent a solid mid-day hour in my bed. You have heard of the "Three Martini Lunch"? Well, that has nothing on the two orgasm lunch... Even though I had a horrible time getting out of bed to go back to work, I wish I could take an hour and a half for lunch everyday... It's amazing how much work gets in the way of all of life's fun stuff.

Chalk that up to one more benefit of living two blocks from work.

One last thing...Munchkin and I sprawled out head-to-toe on the couch and under a blanket last night. I was checking some emails (and chatting with Ally:-)) and Munchkin was reading. She fell asleep and I made a note that I would wake her up in a bit and bring her to bed. At about 9:15 I got myself a drink and turned the lights off to watch the rest of Heroes. After the show ended, I closed my eyes for a second...and next thing I knew...a groggy Munchkin was shaking me awake at 2:00 in the morning.

Oops! And I am a big baby and made he sleep with me...SHR is away for a couple days and I get sort of scared sometimes...hee hee...

Anywho...busy day catching up on all the stuff that I didn't do yesterday while I was busy chatting, reading blogs, playing on the Internet and fucking my boyfriend. Phooey.

'I Think we Should Break Up'

It is 9:00 AM and I have already determined that I am not gonna get anything done today. I am exhausted...the two short nights of sleep, running around and liver abuse is catching up to me. I will probably spend all day staring at the same spreadsheet and making little progress on it.

Meeting Mom's family (the part of it that I still acknowledge) was good. The Boy was horribly hungover...and maybe still drunk...but he was a trooper and got through it with a smile on his face. Then immediately collapsed into bed when we got back to the apartment and took a three hour nap...lol. Munchkin crashed, too, so I got to spend some quality time with the BFFs. I am lobbying them to move out this way, wish me luck on that...

I have two things today, both short. I alluded to the meeting between The Boy and Sam on Saturday, but didn't really give you a lot of details. Truth be told, I wanted to talk with The Boy and BFFb before I said anything. So, I have been debriefed, and apparently everything went well. They did get a chance to talk for a while, and The Boy says that he was friendly, nice, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him a bit. BFFb says basically the same...he even gave Sam an out ahead of time if he thought it would be too weird, but Sam really wanted to meet him.

Needless to say, that is a relief. Really, I would have gladly accepted anything short of a fist fight;-) I didn't really get a chance to talk to Sam at all after I got there, but I got a really nice message from him yesterday when we got home. It was kind of a long, rambling message, but the basic point was "I'm happy for you," and it seemed genuine.

Second, it seems like the Love Story of the Century may be on the rocks. Munchkin told me last Thursday that she doesn't know if she wants to have a boyfriend anymore. I guess a week is about the normal length for a fifth-grade romance...so this one is right on schedule. As of this morning, she was still deciding on whether or not to break up with him....I will let you know how it goes;-) Maybe she wants to be single for her big girls' ski weekend coming up.

Oh, and yes...I intentionally mislead everyone with the title of this post:-P

Who met who?

Munchkin and Tinkerbelle are officially BFFs. They actually...weirdly...look a lot alike, so they make a good pair of pretend sisters (Munchkin and SHR look almost exactly alike, so apparently she has a weird ability to acquire pretend relatives that can pass as real ones.) We had a really good visit...Tinkerbelle approves of The Boy as well;-)

The time with my father's family was really fun, as always. Tinkerbelle and her Mom have been pretty much completely assimilated into the family, which is great to see. They don't have a lot of other family...Mom has one brother that she is real close with, and that is pretty much it...so this is kind of a new and good experience for both of them, too. 'Belle lovers her cousins and they love her, too. My father's family is just a really warm, really funny, really loving group. They were not too rough on The Boy, although he got some of the good-natured abuse that only families can give out [yes, I feel really good writing that sentence.]

So...last night...I am not really sure where to start...it got sort of out-of-control all around. I guess it started in the afternoon. The original plan: Munchkin and her brother had a date; I was going out with BFFg; and The Boy and BFFb were going to a bachelor party. When I dropped Munchkin off at her Uncle's house, I asked her brother what his girlfriend was up to while he and Munchkin went out at night. She was just planning on staying in, so I called her and told her that I was gonna kidnap her and she was gonna come out with us. (As I have written before, she is really nice, but she is kind shy, doesn't have a ton of friends around, and I don't think she really goes out much. Also, I am calling her "Clair" from here on out...no reason, I just like the name;-))
So, we picked her up, and then The Boy, the BFF's, Clair and I hung out at the BFFs place until it was time to go out. And we started drinking...

Not only is Clair kinda shy, she also doesn't drink much. It turns out that the facade melts away pretty quickly when you get a drink into her...and also, she seems to like Cosmopolitans. Long and short, by the time we left, we were all already kinda skippy. I would say that the guys were downright drunk when they left, which is never a good start to a long night...

We met our girls at a bar downtown, and they had apparently prepared for the night out the same way that we had...by getting drunk...lol. There were seven of us, and I think me and Clair are the only ones with anything approximating boyfriends, so there was a lot of boy-meeting going on. BFFg was a total rock-star...guys were trying to work it left and right. The bad news is that there was not a lot to choose from, the good news is that I don't think any of us paid for a drink all night.

We left the first bar because we all wanted to go dancing. I don't get to go dancing nearly enough, but I could shake my ass forever and never get tired of it. And, not to be overly vain, but I have some serious skills on the dance floor:-D. That is not really the point of the story, though.

It was getting sort of late, and Clair was starting to get itchy because she had a long cab ride home. Well, that is easily solved "Hey, Munchkin's brother...we are having fun, so she isn't coming home, I will return her in the morning";-) I am such a bad influence...hee hee. I left out the part about dancing on a table...

Things really started to get silly at around 12:30. I called BFFb to check up on them, and he was having trouble stringing words together. He did, however, manage to get three points across:

1. They were at the largest strip club in the city (Chicagoans know which one)
2. The groom was requesting that we all meet them there
3. The Boy and Sam seemed to be getting along swimmingly...

Um...say what?

I have to acknowledge, this was not a complete surprise. BFFb had warned me that there was a good chance that Sam would be there, and we warned The Boy, too. They weren't gonna tell Sam, but he figured it out pretty quickly...he knew I was in town, so when BFFb said he was bringing a friend of his, Sam put the pieces together pretty quickly.

It was all good, though...it was sort of a festive occasion and everyone was in a good mood. So, we went over and met them late night. I could write an entire post on Clair's reaction to the strip club...total and complete sensory overload to the point that I think she was just giggling the whole time. I would have bought her a lap dance, but I think her head may have exploded.

The other complication was that, by this point, we were working an average blood alcohol content of somewhere on or about .2. I think we finally left at about 2:30 and, luckily, found a cab right away that would take all five of us home. When we got back, BFFg and I had to round up some clothes and stuff for Clair to sleep in...a process that took all of maybe 3 minutes. However, it was long enough that The Boy passed out on the couch. Out cold...no loving for me:-P

I suppose a good girlfriend would have slept on the couch with him, but the bed looked much more comfortable, so Clair and I took the bed (BFFg's bed, she slept in BFFb's...confused?) I did wake him up to move him into the bed when I took Clair home this morning, so he is currently sleeping soundly. We will see how much he likes me when I go and tell him he has to get up in 10 minutes...lol. Meeting my mother's family with a raging hangover is probably not the best idea in the world, but that seems to be where we are;-)

Anyway, it's still ass-cold outside...hope it is warmer where you are!

Grrr...Brrr...

Got out of work a little early, grabbed Munchkin from school and made it to Chicago by about 7:30. Got her to her Uncle's, dropped our shit at the BFF's place and made it to dinner by 8:30, which was about the best timing I could have hoped for (the time change helps;-).

On a separate subject, BFFg is a nurse, and she recently started working with a girl we knew in school that we were sort of friendly with. That girl is still really close with all of her friends, so the BFFs have seen them a bunch recently, and last night we were meeting all of them. It is always really fun to see people that you haven't seen in a really long time (I haven't seen any of them in like 5 years).

It is also sort of weird to sort of re-meet people after a while. These are all people that I would have said were "friends" in the sense that I saw them at school every day, liked them and got along with them, but never hung out with them away from school. BFFg said "I sort of wish that we had hung out with them more," and I agree with her. When I look back, we should have realized that they were a lot like us, it was pretty obvious...and school would have been better if we knew more people like us (very long subject, not enough time right now...)

Anyway, I was kind of tired, so we turned in sort of early and I was in bed by 12:00 and asleep by 1:00 (I will let your dirty little minds fill in that hour). It's always nice to wake up next to The Boy, and for more than just the easy access (although I do like that part:-P). And then he offered to go to Starbucks...who is nicer than he is? [Current temperature: 4. Current wind chill: -10.] Plus, he is hot:-)

Well, I am off for the day...Munchkin and Tinkerbelle's first meeting:-) Hope everyone has a good weekend.

Child Abuse and Such

Leaving after work for Chicago tonight...it should be fun:-) I may get a chance to post when I am out there, but I can't promise to. Don't worry, I will relay anything of note!

Random subject today, and maybe kind of heavy for a Friday, but so what.

Yesterday I pointed out the parents who overdosed their four year old daughter and caused her to suffer an agonizingly painful four day death. "Surely," you think, "these are the worst parents in America". But, then there is this guy, who left his two-year-old in the woods to freeze to death because she wouldn't go back to bed in the morning. There is one line in that story that made me burst into tears at my desk, so beware before you read it.

I tried several times to write a paragraph detailing my feelings for these people, but I can't...there just aren't bad enough words. Someone should invent a new swear word that is the worst word in the language to describe them.

Anyway, I have spent some time thinking about what would be an appropriate punishment for people like this, and I am stumped. I assume the guy in Pennsylvania will be executed (anyone have any idea how they apply the law there? All I can get through Google is that they do have it.) But the two people in Massachusetts won't...there is no death penalty here.

I should admit that I am anti-death penalty, but not strongly (and not because I know someone who was on death row before all the death sentences in Illinois were cancelled). I don't think that it deters crime, and I think it appeals to our worst base instincts of revenge. Part of the point of our legal system is to remove the emotional things like revenge from what should be a rational process. But, I am not going to argue real strongly that there are not some crimes where it is simply the only appropriate response.

My problem here is that the death penalty is way too good for these people. Unfortunately, the only real appropriate punishments haven't been used since the 17th century...I am thinking of what they did to Braveheart at the end of the movie. I suppose, in lieu of that, a lifetime in maximum security general population will probably be a pretty fair punishment. They may be criminals, but they do have an honor code, and killing babies does not sit well with them.

See, I knew prisons were good for something.

Thinking about Mom

So, looks like Queen Raina wins my little poll, although there weren't a ton of votes. She is my choice as well, followed by the First Lady of Syria. I think Ella hit the nail on the head...Princes pull all sorts of tail (or Presidents, in the case of Syria). And it was unanimous that Barbara Bush (the brunette who went to Yale) is hotter than her sister Jenna (the blonde who went to the University of Texas).

Anyway, that is about all on that, and Ally beat me to the "Cheating" discussion:-P I don't have a lot to offer that wasn't said over there already.

I am not sure why, but I have been thinking about my Mother a lot this week. If you have started reading recently, my Mother died about a year and a half ago from a series of liver and kidney problems that resulted from her being a heavy drinker for much of her (and my) life. Her husband (Munchkin's father, but not mine) had died several years before that, which is how I ended up with Munchkin.

I wish I was closer to my Mother...I am extremely jealous of people who count their Mom as a close friend. At the same time, there is so much about her that I intensely disliked that I sort of wish I didn't know her as well as I did. The year and a half that she didn't speak to me or allow me home probably just saved 18 months worth of shit that she would have done to annoy me otherwise.

I guess my biggest complaint is that I don't think she taught me to have dreams. She never encouraged me to have aspirations, and even went so far as to discourage them when I did. Is that because she was a drunk, single mother at 2o? I dunno, it could be...and her own mother was not exactly a great example for positive mothering. Maybe she just never knew that she was supposed to encourage me. After all...there is no motherhood manual, you learn it from your parents.

Munchkin thinks much more highly of her than I ever did, and I have to be careful not to spoil that impression. The truth is that my Mother was a much better parent to Munchkin than she was to me. She was older and wiser...and most importantly sober. In fact, despite being the same woman, Munchkin and I had two totally separate people as mothers. She also had a Father, which is a whole other story...

I am not really sure that I can sum up my feelings for my Mother in a brief statement; they are relatively complicated. I certainly didn't have the worst mother in the world (read this...I wanted to write a whole post in it, but I almost got nauseous because I was so mad when I started it.) I guess all I can really do is accept her and all her faults and do my best to learn from her and be the best parent I can...both to my pretend children and any real ones that I ever have.

Super Random Blog Question...

OK, I have a serious debate question, but I am putting it off until Thursday in favor of a much sillier one (also, Ally may lay claim to it and ask before I get the chance.) This feeds nicely into my natural habit of being an absolute comment whore;-)

So, my silly blog question is...who do we think is the "Hottest International Political Figure." Today we are dealing only with women, but we could easily cover men later on if anyone wants to yell for equal time. I have a couple of nominees, but write-ins will be accepted. So, I have picked a handful, and here they are, in alphabetical order by country:

Jordan - Queen Rania. She has her own website, so she has that going for her... She is also six feet tall and looks like a slightly darker Cindy Crawford. It is good to be King.

Syria - First Lady Asma al-Assad. Not only is she gorgeous, but she is a Harvard MBA and a former investment banker at JP Morgan Chase.

Sweden - Princesses Madeline and Victoria. Madeline is in the blue dress, and I think she is cuter. Victoria is in the orange, and while she may not be as cute, she is first in line to the throne...that counts for something, right?

United Kingdom - Princess-to-Be Kate Middleton. I am bending the rules since she is not yet married to Prince William, and even then will be like the third Queen in line, but still...I think she is really pretty.

United States - The Bush Twins. Ok, I have a soft spot for drunken college chicks;-) They aren't really world leaders, either, but I wanted to open something of a sub-question to determine which one is hotter. I used to think it was Jenna (blond), but I think that Barbara has aged better. She has a Kate Beckinsale think going on, minus the totally hot double-automatic pistols from Underworld. Also, to stay bi-partisan, Chelsea Clinton has grown up nicely, and is actually kinda foxy in her own right.

So, those are the ones that I found in my quick search...any others? Voting commences immediately via comments, email and IM.

Seeing the Family This Weekend

It is not getting any warmer around here… I shouldn’t complain, it is much worse in the Midwest. Of course, I am going to the Midwest on Friday…so let’s all hope for some warmth by then.

So, The Boy is up for his first introduction to the WHOLE family this weekend. He has requested that I write out a family tree for him so that he can study it, but I am not sure that is even possible. There are way too many second marriages, half-siblings and such to make it useful in diagram form. Knowing my father’s family, they will all wear name tags for him;-)

It us gonna be a really busy weekend. BFFg is picking us up at the airport Friday and we are dropping Munchkin at her Uncle’s house. Then we are meeting some friends that I haven’t seen in a while, which will be good. Saturday morning I am picking Munchkin up so that we can go over and hang out with Tinkerbelle. This will be their first meeting, which should be fun. They aren’t actually related, but are both looking forward to meeting.

Then Munchkin is going back to her Uncle’s to meet up with her father’s entire family. She and her brother have a date Saturday night, I think. I am going to see my father’s family so that The Boy can meet them. He is actually going to a bachelor party with BFFb on Saturday night (who is the best girlfriend ever?) for a guy that I have know forever. Me and BFFg and some other girlfriends are gonna have some girl time;-)

Sunday we are gonna meet up with Munchkin again and we are all going to see some of our Mom’s family for brunch, then hang with the BFF’s all afternoon, and back to the airport around dinner time.

So, a busy weekend that hopefully allows us to see everyone I wanna see in a short period of time. And none of the people I don’t wanna see…

Late Night Jacuzzi Highlights...

OK, it is fucking cold today...like really, really cold. And the wind is supposed to whip up later, so the wind chill is gonna drop to like -20. Not fun...

Yes, Smoking Hot Roommate and Big Sis...this is what you get for going away where it is warm: gross cold to greet you when you get back:-P That will teach you!

So, let’s see…the Super Bowl was kind of a bummer. I wanted the Bears to win:-( So did Munchkin, but she cares a lot more than I do. It ended a little late and I let her stay up and watch the whole thing, so she was dragging a bit this morning. I was kind of half expecting that she would want to get up early and put on makeup and jewelry and stuff…but so far love hasn’t changed her that much;-)

Since I don’t have anything else to write about today, I am going to go back to Saturday night. Munchkin wanted to stay at Papa Bear’s so that she could sleep with the dog (a little golden retriever, she is super cute…) so The Boy and I got a pleasant and unexpected night all to ourselves. Honestly, I was happier for him…I feel like he has to make a lot of sacrifices around my sister’s schedule, so I like when I can just devote time to him unexpectedly.

Anyway, we had dinner, met some of his friends and some of my friends for drinks and had a pretty fun night. Then, having the whole apartment and the whole night to ourselves, we decided that it was a fine excuse to make use of the Jacuzzi (which is actually in SHR’s bathroom…sorry about that, sweetie;-).)

I am kind of impatient sometimes, especially when there is a naked boy around, so the Jacuzzi sex never materialized because I couldn’t wait for the stupid thing to fill up…hee hee. However, soaking in the tub with a bottle of wine and a comfortable post-sex glow was a really, really good time…:-D

Anyway, we got to talking, and were both in sort of a philosophical mood, I guess. The good news is that I have picked out a name for my first child, and he is OK with it, so that’s good…lol. I think it is a better name for a girl, but it works for a boy, too. And no…I am not telling you what it is here…:-P (I may tell you if you ask.) OK, there is still the minor issue of whether or not I even want to have children, but I have a name, just in case…

Long and short, none of the drama that is going on over at GreenLineBoy. I am nowhere near ready to get married, although I am ok talking about it. And The Boy is fine with that…I think he is more ready than me, but he isn’t exactly being tormented by his relationship-clock just yet. He is also understanding of the desire to not live together before marriage, so that’s good, too.

He is really incredibly easy going. Not that he won’t stick up for himself to get what he wants…but he tends to care very intensely about some things, and then be really, really flexible about everything else. He is a much better boyfriend than I could ask for…I am not really easy to date, but he sticks around anyway;-) I think he just may like me:-D

OK, this was a really boring post, I know...but it is hard to be charming and interesting every day...give a girl a break!!!

The Talk

Munchkin and I did a bunch of shopping yesterday, which led to a couple of interesting things. First, I ran into a kid I went to high school with in the grocery store...how random is that? Honestly, it was weird and really awkward. He wasn't like a real good friend of mine, but I knew him and got along well enough.

So we went through the regular "How did you get here, what are you doing in Boston?" stuff. But there was something just a little off about him...I wouldn't say that he was on something, but he had that sort of nervous, distracted manner than people can get when they regularly use some stuff. It was all just kind of awkward and a little hard to describe.

Anyway, after that we had to go to the pharmacy because I needed to pick up birth control pills. So, about six months ago, I switched to a generic drug because it is cheaper and the doctor told me to give it a try. The girl in the pharmacy, who was about my age, said "Can I ask you a question? I take the brand name of this...have you noticed any differences?" That led to a brief discussion about birth control (I have had no issues, but SHR takes the same thing, and the generic wreaked havoc on her stomach so she had to switch back.)

I guess I hadn't really thought about Munchkin being there with me, but when we left, she asked "What are those pills for?" Yes, I noted the uncomfortable irony of this coming about 16 hours after her first kiss;-) But, I also felt like I really had to tell her the truth because it is really important that she not worry that I am sick.

So, we had a brief portion of "the talk". I told her what they for, and she asked the logical next question (she is in sex-ed, after all) "Do you and The Boy have sex?". OK, this was not really on the list of things I wanted to talk about yesterday, but I guess you can't really dictate the time and place of these things. So I told her the truth about that, too (I emphasized the "person you love" part and left out the "days of a million orgasms" part...you get the drift).

She sort of left it at that, and I told her to always make sure she asked me any questions she had about any of this. All in all, it wasn't so bad...but my little Munchkin is growing up fast;-)

She ended up sleeping over at Papa Bear's, and The Boy and I had a lengthy and positive discussion that I may talk about tomorrow (you get awfully reflective over a couple glasses of wine in a hot tub...lol). But this is already too long for a Sunday, so it will have to wait;-)

p.s. I almost forgot...Go Bears!

Growing Up...

Well, Munchkin is officially in love…(little hearts floating and birds chirping around her head). She was incredibly cute about the whole thing because she was clearly so nervous, and she NEVER gets nervous in social situations. When we were walking over, she asked me what she should do if he wanted to kiss her. My response was “here, take this kitchen knife and stab him.” OK, I lied about that…

Really, I asked her what she thought she wanted to do, and she said “I think I really wanna kiss him, too!” Hmm…I think I would have preferred “I don’t even want to hold hands until I am 21,” but that may have been wishful thinking. In the end I told her to just make sure to be assertive about not ever doing anything she wasn’t comfortable with, but that it is normal and natural to have these kinds of feelings about some people. And that was that (ok, there are some longer discussion to come on similar subjects).

The dance itself was really funny, as they always are. Remember how things like this, when you were young, involved all the girls on one side of the room, and all the boys on the other side of the room and then everyone comes together and dances when they play the last song at the end of the night? Well, it is kind of still like that…the only difference being that “Stairway to Heaven” is no longer the night-ending song…lol.

Anyway, Munchkin and her friends were all there at the beginning, and the older kids didn’t start to show up until later. So, Little Dreamboat Boy (I will just call him Dreamboat) and his class were like an hour later than the younger kids. And yes, despite the fact that I was outwardly talking to teachers and other parents, I was definitely spying on her all night:-P

So basically, they would talk uncomfortably to each other for like five minutes, and then return back to their friends, him trying to look cool and disaffected, and her giggling uncontrollably with her friends. That went on for like and hour and a half, and then he finally asked her to dance to a slow song, which led to some classic stiff-armed, back-and-forth, don’t-make-eye-contact 11 year old dancing. It is possible that there was some slight crying in my corner of the room…

Anyway, a little bit later they announced that it was the last song for all the kids in fifth grade or younger, so they took a second pass at the dancing routine. This time they actually talked a bit and looked moderately more comfortable...and this was also apparently when he asked her if she would be his girlfriend. And right before Valentine’s Day…(everyone in unison now) “awwwwww”.

Then, there was sort of that awkward good-bye moment, and she went right ahead and kissed him! Really quick, and then she immediately turned around and ran away…lol…but I was proud of her for being so ballsy. Maybe not proud about her being such a slutty trollop, though…(kidding!!!)

So that was the excitement for the night, and Munchkin was absolutely floating on cloud nine. I took her and a bunch of the girls to Coldstone Creamery for ice cream, and then Munchkin asked if her two best friends could sleep over. I had to call The Boy and break the bad news that our originally planned late-night naked-fest was gonna have to wait. The good news was that one of the girls’ fathers said he would take them all out for breakfast, so I was able to re-schedule that for this morning. And yes, he showed up right on time and put the wood to me just right (did I seriously just write that? Who has better terminology for sex than I do?)

Anyway, I have a date tonight, and Munchkin has a date with Papa Bear…she is still giddy over her newfound love-life, and likely will be for a bit. Which is really cute. Big Sis and Smoking Hot Roommate get home tomorrow, so she can re-tell the whole story to both of them, which I am sure she will be willing to do;-)

And then she gets shipped off to the convent on Monday:-P

Munchkin's Love Life

The best part about the last two blog entries, for me, is that many people have chosen to interpret them in different ways. That makes the discussion interesting, although I am not sure that I have much more to add to it beyond:

Some of you seem to have gotten the impression that this was a practical, and not theoretical discussion. The Boy and I are NOT moving in together, and will not be until we are married, or very close. Or, more specifically, my little sister is not moving in with The Boy until we are married;-)

Anyway, the more enjoyable topic: Munchkin’s boyfriend. I would also like to highlight the funniest comment I have gotten thus far:

“Allen Madding said...
Munchkin has a boyfriend! Do you own a firearm?”

That seriously cracked me up. I should add the caveat that I hate guns, hate everything about them and don’t feel like anyone should own one for any reason. Additionally, you can’t convince me otherwise, so I would encourage you to save you second amendment breath;-) But…I still cracked up over that.

Anyway, the school has dances twice a year (maybe more often for the older kids) on Friday nights. It is sort of neat how they do it…the younger kids are there like 5-8, the junior high kids like 6-10 and the high school kids like 8-12. So there is some mixing (it is a small school, everyone knows everyone.)

Well, last year, three different boys asked Munchkin if she would be their “date”. I don’t know exactly what that entails, and my guess is that the fourth graders didn’t know either, but felt like it sounded cool. She said “no” to all of them (aw…my little heartbreaker) and told her teacher that it was because there are 14 boys and only 11 girls, so if everyone had dates, then there would be three boys that went alone. Very thoughtful of her, but then she admitted to me that she thought the boys were all “icky”.

So, she has basically been pretty anti-boy until now. They are at the age where they are starting to like each other again, but she has been pretty disinterested in the whole idea. She has a couple of good friends that are boys (c’mon, she is super cute and she loves sports, how can they resist her?) but has been non-interested in the whole boyfriend thing.

That seems to have changed, though. It seems that the cutest boy in the sixth grade has taken a shine to my little nugget, and she is somewhat smitten. Maybe it is the whole “older boy” thing, or possibly she just has her first real crush, but she claims to get real nervous and blushes a lot when he talks to her. And she was positively giddy when he asked if she would “go to the dance with him.”

I think all of this is adorable. I don’t really know what 11 and 12 year olds do when they “date”, but you can be assured that these 11 and 12 year olds are a lot tamer than some of the horror stories you hear on the news. In addition, I will give you one guess which of the school parents gets asked to chaperone these dances most often…why, the coolest Mom in the fifth grade, obviously. [Oh yeah, the high school boys think I am cute…so I have that going for me;-)] So, I am going to be there.

I know the boy and I know his parents, and he really is a super nice kid. Really cute, friendly…as good a target for her first crush as anyone, I guess. Still, I am not 100% sure that I am ready for this…we shall see.