Sleepovers

Posting early because I am not gonna get the chance tomorrow, I don't think. Everyone returning from the weekend now has a lot of reading (and not much actual content) to catch up on;-)

I was gonna write a post about Britney Spears and her horribly desperate cries for attention, but that is too easy. Seriously...we get it, Brit. Justin and Christina have better careers and your marriage was a sham and you are white trash. Shaving your head doesn't change that. By the way, who watched the kids during her one-day rehab stay? I hate to say it, but K-Fed may be the more responsible parent.

OK, as mentioned, I am officially lifting the "no sleepovers" rule. For the uninitiated, I have been reluctant to let The Boy spend nights with me if Munchkin is home, and I have been shy about spending too many nights at his place as well. He stayed at our place once when his heat was broken, and maybe three other times, total. The reason? Well, maybe I am being a bit of a prude (I know, I know...) but I am concerned about the things she sees.

I think actions speak louder than words do, and I am therefore cognisant of the way I act around her. I never introduced her to boys that I dated until I felt it was a "serious" relationship (of which there has been exactly one since she moved here), and I never felt like it was appropriate for her to see boys spending the night with any regularity.

By now, anyone who reads realizes that I enjoy talking about and writing about sex. I also really enjoy having it;-). I also think that sex is an important part of a relationship...physical compatibility is a big part of overall compatibility. I am comfortable with my sexuality, and I would like for her to be as comfortable as she can, as well.

However, I want her to be a little bit scared of it as well. Sex is not something to be treated as a "small thing"...deciding to do it should be a really big deal. It is not going to be too long before she reaches the age where she is thinking about becoming sexually active (fucking shit, I can't believe I just wrote that sentence...) and I wanna help her put the whole thing into a framework that lets her make good decisions.

I don't know of any better way to teach her to treat sex with the reverence that I would like her to than by showing it some deference of my own. She is not dumb...she knows what is going on when he stays over, and my avoiding that says to her (I hope) that it is not something that should be taken lightly.

I am not sure that really explains it, nor am I sure that my rationale really makes sense. But that is what I think on the subject.

So, why the change of policy? A couple things. First, Munchkin understands that The Boy and I have a serious and loving relationship. She has seen that relationship first hand for nearly a year now (she goes on lots of dates with us:-)) and I am comfortable with her thinking that this level of commitment is now appropriate.

Second, I have already talked with her about the physical nature of our relationship...she asked, and I told her that we do have sex. No real dirty details;-) but I can't lie to her, so I told her the truth. And finally, The Boy has demonstrated beyond any question his commitment to me and his view of this as a permanent relationship. I feel the same way, and I feel like it would be moderately disingenuous to maintain the charade.

Anyway, that is it, pretty much. This doesn't mean that he is moving in...most likely it means that one night every weekend is an "I get super-laid" night...hee hee. And yes, I will sit Munchkin down and explain all of this to her, because I am a dork:-P