I just checked my sitemeter stats and I have two comments:
1) People in Georgia love me!!! I seem to have like five or six regular readers in Georgia. I know who like 3 of you are, but not all.
2) Someone at UCSF.edu (Cal-San Francicso maybe?) spent an hour and had like 50 page views yesterday. Send me an email...(contact info on the profile page)...did you read my entire blog in one sitting? Just curious...
And for those interested, my advice to Tinkerbelle's mother was that she should not bring her to meet her father. I understand why she is thinking about it: for all the reasons articulated here. I just don't see how anyone benefits. When she is 18 or 20, she may be sad that she never knew her father, but meeting him for half an hour in a prison when she is 7 isn't going to change that. Really, she will regret that she never knew her father...and unfortunately that ship has already sailed.
It was interesting, though...a lot of the discussion here revolved around whether my father had the right to meet his daughter. Y'all are much more forgiving than me...
I am not sure that Tinkerbelle's mom has made up her mind yet...she seemed a little torn over it (it is obviously more complicated for her than for me.) I actually told her that I would take Tinkerbelle if she didn't want to. Not that I want to go back to that place, but I would do it, and I know that Sweet Aunt #2 would be happy to go with us. So we'll see. I think she will decide against it, but you never know.
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Random notes
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6 comments:
I think each individuals personal life experiences influence their decisions.
Although it is obviously the mom's call and you have very strong feelings AGAINST your dad, I think you might be too close to the situation to fairly weigh the options and make a logical, unbiased decision.
You don't see how anyone would benefit because you are looking at the situation through your personal experiences. Obviously he has been a shitty dad, but for those of us he hasn't been shitty too, we have the ability to have empathy for him.
I hope Tinkerbelle's mom consults a counselor or someone trained in helping people make huge decisions ...before she just goes with her own intuition.
Let the Hating of AllBilly begin.
Good luck to her and making her decision! Such a hard one to make. Let us know what she decides.
As for the people in Georgia... well being one of those people I have to admit that I LOVE reading your blogs and have worked checking you blog into my daily routine at work! :)
Actually... that probably means you have three readers in Georgia. If each of us checks it from work/home, then that would give you six distinctive hits. Sorry, I didn't want to be the one to break your heart. :(
bavaria germany's in the house too! LOL
First time comment, but regular reader.
I agree totally with your recommendation to Tinkerbelle's mom. There is no possibility of an actual relationship with your/her father, only a brief "meeting" with him -- but to what end? She is so young, just a visit to a hitherto-unknown father in prison has (IMO) little to recommend itself. No doubt her mother has already had to deal with the "who/where is my father" question and will, of course, have the final decision here. I'm certain that she wants to do the best for 'Belle and therefore must at least consider the possiblity.
I wonder if the mother was using your response (as someone who had seen the 'sperm donor' recently) as a way to gauge the advisability of this reunion. Maybe this was a subtle way to find out if your father had turned his life around and was regretful for all the hurt he caused and was eager to acknowledge and see this child (the only circumstances under which I would even entertain the idea if I were her).
Not being hateful, but the man has no "rights" in this situation. He thought he might have contributed to a life, but did nothing even to confirm it and had no part in the raising of this child.
FYI, I'm the mother of two teen-age girls, so that might skew my opinion...
~graceamazes~
okay. i know i am late on the years here. but i came across your blog yesterday and have been reading from the begining and i am to here. i love it. you sound like a wonderful person and a great mom/sister. i am going to keep reading and catch up on things.
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