Monday, January 22, 2007

Clarification

e.b. (the world's most poetic lawyer!) has written about her love of the "One Year Ago" game. Well, one year ago I was almost dead....I weighed less than 90 pounds and had spent much of a week unconcious. I left the hospital on January 19, so I had just gotten home a year ago today. Just a thought...

I got some emails and comments and IM’s on the subject of Tinkerbelle that make me think that maybe I didn’t clarify what happened entirely.

There is no visit, there will be no visit, there can be no visit. He does not want to meet her, and will not see her if anyone were to bring her. Beyond that, he does not know that he has a second daughter and is taking efforts to maintain that ignorance. He thinks he might have another daughter, but he does not want to find out.

Tinkerbelle’s mother was working under the impression that she was somehow keeping her from her father. Which may be true, but ignores the fact that he is and always has been avoiding her. (Why he chose to find me a couple years ago and not find her is somewhat of a mystery…and open to guessing.)

Anyway, I am glad that no one told Tinkerbelle that she might meet her father, because I can’t imagine telling a little girl “Your father doesn’t want to know that you exist.” Maybe someday we can tell her, but not when she is 7. Both she and her mother spent the afternoon at our aunt’s house watching the Bears game (yay Bears!) with their new family. The family that does want to know about her.

3 comments:

brookem said...

I'm sorry about that situation. It's sad. Tinkerbelle is wonderfully lucky to have you in her life.

Tiffany 24/7 said...

Sorry that Tinkerbelle won't meet her father, but I still think it's best she doesn't. Especially since the truth has come out that he has no desire to even know if he has another child.
So glad they were able to spend time with their new family, though! It's so great to have that extra support when it's needed!

Still just me said...

I understand now. Thank you for the clarification.

I am sure she will have questions as she grows older. It is good that her "other" family loves her so much that I am sure they will give her the appropiate answers.