Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Coming close to dying

Last week I mentioned Munchkin’s bad dream about me dying, so I think I should fill you in on the other half of that. She has this nightmare occasionally and it stems from me very nearly dying last winter.

I am going to back up a bit…I have mentioned already that I am really tiny. Little itty bitty everything. Yes, I wish I had boobs sometimes, but not enough to actually pay for them;-) And I wish more adult clothing fit me, too, but I get by… The good news is that I can look mega-sexy all summer wearing tank tops with no bra (little tip, girls…tape your nipples so they don’t poke;-))

Anyway, my weight is normally about 95 pounds, and has been since I was about a sophomore in high school. I feel like I eat pretty well, but I just never gain any weight. So, I went to the doctor for a checkup last winter and tipped the scale at 89 pounds. Not good.

Which kind of make sense…it was a very stressful summer and fall and I hadn’t really been eating well. I knew I felt thin, but not that bad…anyway, that was a wakeup call and I made a more concerted effort to eat more and more often. Hold that thought, I will get back to it…

In mid January, I was kind of randomly moving some boxes around and I cut my hand. Not badly, but I had maybe and inch long cut that bled for like and hour before it closed up. Maybe two days later, I started to feel kind of sick…I thought maybe I was getting a cold. Nothing too bad, though. Then, on a Friday morning I woke up feeling like absolute garbage. So I took Munchkin to school and came home to shower and see if I felt any better.

Then I realized that my eyes wouldn’t really focus and things didn’t look right. I took my temperature and it was like 104 or something, so I figured maybe I should not go to work. Then I fell over walking the sofa and thought maybe I oughta call an ambulance (Smoking Hot Roommate was in the Bahamas, so I was all on my own.)

After that, things are kind of blank…luckily I unlocked the front door, because I think I had passed out before the paramedics got there. Also luckily, the old lady next door was home at the time…otherwise I don’t know how word would have gotten to school. It is also a pretty good thing that I had listed Papa Bear as someone who could pick Munchkin up at school like a week before then (you have to be on a list to take a child home, good policy I guess.)

Turns out that I got an infection in my hand from the cut, and it had spread throughout my body. They got me all loaded up with antibiotics pretty quickly, but I was unconscious for most of two days, and was in the hospital for almost a week. Needless to say, I am pretty darn lucky that Papa Bear was around to stay with Munchkin (Big Sis was with SHR in the Bahamas).

I don’t know how close I really came to dying, but the doctor claimed that it was kind of scary for a bit. And obviously Munchkin was pretty effected by the whole thing…she had already lost a Mom and Dad, so I think this was a pretty scary thought. The other pressing concern was that my weight had suddenly gone from "too low" to "dangerously too low". In fact, the last two days in the hospital had nothing to do with the infection and everything to do with the doctor not letting me leave because my weight dropped to 83 pounds at its lowest. He made me stay in on a bunch of IV’s for a couple days, but even with that I was like 87 or 88 when I left.

Smoking Hot Roommate says that she saw me take my shirt off and almost threw up because my back was so bony. And I have seen a picture of it from shortly after then, and it was pretty gross. The good news was that I was immediately put on the most fun diet you can have…what do you do when you need fat, calories, protein and calcium? Why…you eat ice cream, of course…and that is not something I need to be told twice!!!

I am between 95 and 100 now, which is still maybe too small, but it is healthy enough. My doctor told me that she thinks 100 is a good number, so I try and shoot for that. I wish it would make my boobs bigger:-P

Anyway, that was kind of scary, and caused me to do a lot of re-evaluating…like I needed to have a will drawn up, and have my life insurance adjusted. I think the right thing would be for Munchkin to live with her brother, although I would really love it if they decided to move out here to keep her here. Not really the most pleasant thing to think about, but it sort of has to be done… Mostly, I am just going to try and not die.


Bob said...

Yeah, not dying anytime soon would be the best thing. Having everything planned out for when you do die is the best gift that you can give your friends and relatives, especially the ones who will be handling your affairs. That already can be an overwhelming time for most and it is tough to make decisions for someone who has "crossed over". Even things like, "What music should we play" "What kind of service is appropriate" or "Should we invite the estranged brother?" can go into the will.

Ally said...

Bob is right about the nicest gift being our advanced preparation. It's so hard for a family to make those decisions when they are grieving.

With that being said, I seriously doubt you'll be dying any time soon, and I'm glad you made a full recovery. When I first read the last paragraph, I thought you meant you think Munchkin should go live with her brother now (or soon). That's not the case is it?

ella w. said...

I just started reading your blog. Your story is inspiring - reminiscent of Dave Egger's novel A Heartbreaking Work of a Staggering Genius.

I can't believe you are only 24 and have made more difficult decisions than some of us ever will. You are so blessed to have met SHR and Papa Bear. We should all be so lucky.

ps: You are right - shoes are
never wasteful - especially very pretty ones. :)

swatts said...

very scary stuff.

Accidentally Me said...

Bob - I can't think about music and stuff...I am just not that morbid. I am 24, I don't wanna plan my own funeral...lol

Ally - Yeah, now that I read that, I feel like I left some words out. I mean if I died, she should go and live with her brother. Or he and his gf should come out here to keep her here. She's not going anywhere as long as I am around, though.

Ella - Thanks for the kind words...I am gonna read that book now. And yes, I am very lucky to have met a lot of people, and those two are at the top of the list (Don't leave Big Sis out!!!)