My second grumpy post already today:-(

I already went through the top reason why I feel like shit today, but here are the others.

Second, The Boy is mad at me. He wanted to have a date last night and told him that I was too tired and didn’t have a babysitter and just generally didn’t feel like going out. All of which is true, but this was sort of the only night we had free through about the middle of next week, so I guess I was kind of blowing him off a bit. I invited him to come over to our place and hang out, but he gave me a snippy “No, you should get to bed early if you are tired.”

That has me feeling like shit, too. He did leave me a really sweet message saying that he was sorry he snapped at me and he was just upset that he wouldn’t really get to see me for a bit and that he felt really bad about it. So, I do feel better about it, but I still feel kind of shitty…he is extremely patient with me, and has been really good about dealing with all of my baggage. At the same time, it has to wear on him, and I don’t know how fair it is of me to expect him to keep putting up with it…there’s a lot of girls out there who don’t come with children (gulp…almost teenagers). That sounds worse than it should, I know, and I may regret posting it in an hour or so, but I will deal with that then.

Third, Munchkin had a really bad dream last night and woke up crying. Fortunately, she was sleeping in my bed so she wasn’t alone, but she was still shaken up. She said it wasn’t really about anything, but then she told Smoking Hot Roommate this morning that she dreamt that I died. I know she is being nice not to tell me that, but I still wish she would tell me. [There is a story behind this dream…some day soon, I promise]. I don’t like when she cries and I can’t help her…it is the worst feeling in the world.

Fourth, I have some general seasonal anxiety. I have a ton of work to do this month, plus all kinds of Christmas parties and events to go to, plus a lot of shopping, plus a trip to Chicago which now includes visiting my father. It is all kind of piling up and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed, which is a feeling I get occasionally.

The good news is that there is a cure for this...like any good, unbalanced girl of the 21st century, I have a therapist on speed dial… Ok, not exactly speed dial, but I do have someone that I see sometimes. It started because the court made it a condition of my custody arrangement that Munchkin and I go regularly after our mother died. That was supposed to last for like six months, but after about three, she told me that Munchkin was amazingly well-adjusted and we didn’t have to go that often.

I, however, am not quite as well adjusted, which means I have been going off and on for a year and a half now. Well, today is one of those days, and she made some time for me tonight, so hopefully that helps. It usually does.